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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

long distance relationships

3 replies

oopsadaisymaisy · 09/04/2013 18:34

I've been thinking about this a lot recently. I'm having a 'penpal' relationship with an Italian. We met on a OD site. I ve googled him and he's quite prolific on the interweb because of his job. We ve skyped and he's definitely the same person. He's asking nothing of me but I'm planning to take my DS to Rome so I think we will eventually meet. My worry is this. Since we've met he was in hospital for a couple of weeks, he still sent the odd email. We skyped when he got home and he had clearly lost weight and had a cold sore on his mouth, he did look a bit poorly. Then a few weeks later he went travelling partly for his job and partly a holiday. I'm wondering if I'm being naive and that all may not be what it seems. Although my intuition is telling me he is genuine, I've really lost faith in myself to make good judgements. He doesn't have a regular job and tells me he has investments so doesn't really have to work all the time. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Lavenderhoney · 09/04/2013 18:51

Are you expecting a romance? If he is just a pen friend then if he sees you for a coffee with your ds then that's nice but that shouldn't be the point of your trip. Sort your itinery, don't send it to him of course, just send him a message you'll be in Rome if he wants to meet for coffee one morning for an hour. Don't run about after him. He can text and meet you at your convenience - it's his city he knows his way about.

Take normal precautions, ie don't meet in private at his home, don't leave your ds alone and meet him, lots of don'ts!

Do enjoy your trip to Rome:)

kinkyfuckery · 09/04/2013 18:53

What is it you are worried about?

oopsadaisymaisy · 09/04/2013 19:09

I guess I'm considering we could be more than friends. I will definitely organise my trip without him in mind but he did ask in a round about way for me to wait until he got back from his trip. He doesn't live in Rome, so he will have to travel there to meet us. I've list my faith in the male of the species lately and you hear so many horror stories. I don't really know what I'm afraid of. Probably that he's a fraud and looking for a way to get money out of me! He'll be lucky, I have none !

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