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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Dating Thread 50 .....

999 replies

TigsytheTiger · 07/04/2013 12:28

celebrating half a century of dating chit chat, all welcome ...

OP posts:

OhWesternWind · 09/04/2013 19:50

Don't do it Smoothie - I did and it was horrendous. I had to put hair clips in it for months to get it to go in a downward direction. Never, ever again.

smoothieooo · 09/04/2013 20:01

Bugger OWW ... I'd almost convinced myself too!

MirandaWest · 09/04/2013 20:09

I got a fringe done nearly three weeks ago and still like it :) think I need to get a free fringe trim soon though . Is stopping me pushing hair behind my ears in an annoying way which is v good.

Must put children to bed, have a bath and put me to bed. Think I need more sleep...

VelvetSpoon · 09/04/2013 20:11

My hair is too curly to swish, I can toss it over my shoulder but swishing is beyond me. I just wish it was a bit longer, it has been stuck at mid-back level for years. Pre DS2 it was waist length. Although there is a valid argument that at 40 even if I look younger I am too old for long hair anyway!

western hope you're feeling ok. you will get little thoughts about notsoLM from time to time, it's only natural. The Evil Ex was a scumbag of the first order, yet I still have the odd few happy memories of times with him and the DC. Nothing is ever all bad - but equally I can remember all the bad stuff (of which there was much more than the good) and why I am much better off now :)

mercury7 · 09/04/2013 20:14

I like fringes but hair is very personal, I'm currently on a run of good haircuts leading to good hair days, I went for quite a while with not quite right haircuts and stressful hair days

48howdidthathappen · 09/04/2013 20:26

I have long hair Velvet always been a bit of a rebel curly too.

I cannot have a fringe, because of PITA cowlick!

JulietteMontague · 09/04/2013 20:31

Me too, I did got a bit shorter recently as I thought I was beginning to look a bit Nancy D (with extra weight).

CastroIsDead · 09/04/2013 20:38

hi all. I've got a date next week but i already know he's not the one so not sure if i should go think i could use the practise just getting out and about but feel abit bad about it like im using him. don't think i can do casual anymore starting to think i might actually be frigid or something??

mercury7 · 09/04/2013 20:49

castro it doesnt matter, jsut do what youre comfy with'
i've found i need more of a connection as i got older

akaWisey · 09/04/2013 20:53

Right experienced OD people.

I've joined OKC and messaged a chap who I like the look of. How do you know if they're genuinely wanting a date? So far, although he says he wants to meet he hasn't exactly come up with when he wants to, he seems to want me to name the day etc. I think i've done enough, he knows I'm interested but he keeps leaving the ball in my court.

Is this normal in OD? Part of me thinks he's a player and won't turn up!!

CastroIsDead · 09/04/2013 20:56

he's a nice enough guy i think we will have a good time so i will go but i know it won't come to anything its the thought of having to make excuses and justify myself that worries me i think.

VelvetSpoon · 09/04/2013 20:58

It's hard to tell pre (or indeed post) date who's genuine and who isn't.

If he drags his feet over arranging a date, he's probably not interested. Similarly if he makes vague arrangements and delays confirming them.

Even if a date is all arranged, there's still a fairly high chance of a last minute cancellation - I'd say maybe 1 in 4 of mine have cancelled on the day, possibly even more than that.

Trust your instinct though, if you suspect he's a player already don't even bother meeting him.

akaWisey · 09/04/2013 20:59

That's what I was thinking Velvet. I'm going to leave it.

OhWesternWind · 09/04/2013 21:01

Castro - if he's not actively awful, it might be a good idea to go along, have a bit of a practice date. If you don't want to see him again (and you really never know!) it's just a thanks but no thanks text the next day. Don't worry about not doing anything with him, I've had lots of dates where it's been a nice evening chatting and a peck on the cheek at the end, but it will be different when you find someone you click with, honestly.

JulietteMontague · 09/04/2013 21:06

Wisey agree with Velvet. I've found okc to be the best fit for me but generally speaking if they are interested they will set it up although I have been know to give them a nudge

CastroIsDead · 09/04/2013 21:13

thanks oww. that's what i thought practise can't hurt i know it won't be serious i have a very long list of qualities im looking for and he's missing a couple. dont casual sex type things always end up in tears??most likely his in this case

OhWesternWind · 09/04/2013 21:27

Not really into the casual sex thing myself but it works well for a lot of people, just as long as both parties are clear that that's what it is, and aren't secretly hoping for more. Has he got a casual sex profile up then?

CastroIsDead · 09/04/2013 21:32

no it wasn't an od thing we met by chance we have a mutual friend. i feel like im scared of sex and maybe having a casual thing even if its clear that's all it is kind of blocks other opportunities maybe?

OhWesternWind · 09/04/2013 22:20

Castro, just do what you feel comfortable with. You will know when you feel ready, just wait until then and don't feel pressured off anyone, including yourself, to rush things along.

KinNora · 10/04/2013 08:35

Morning everyone,
Has anyone got any promising dates lined up then ? Or are we all hitting a bit of a fallow period ? Velvet did you text Cuthby baby ? Ike any Ecological movement ? Lubey still going ok ?

Castro - Lubey's right, you don't have to shag anyone until you feel that you actually want to, part of the OD experience should be learning how you feel about various things and being able to be assertive about what you want. ( Check out the irony of this statement with regard to what I say next )

Showbiz has suggested taking me out for a curry on Friday, I'd rather go somewhere else - eeees tricky, he's travelling over t'hills to see me and wants to buy again.

I have had a few moments of sort of missing Software - this is why I'm shite at this sort of thing, I'm supposed to be New Improved Flinty-Hearted Nora, I mean, ffs, I don't even want to go to bed with him, he doesn't make me laugh, being kissed by him is like being attacked by a woodpecker. Sheeshhhh, I despair of myself.

lubeybooby · 10/04/2013 08:41

Kin... major fishslap for you! Forget the plonker. Not for you, end of.

Tell showbiz you want to go somewhere else too... this is your mission in being slightly more flinty hearted. You get what you want... again end of.

Oh and I think you meant OWW when talking to Castro?

And... yes I am still doing fine thanks :o I am super happy to be freeeeee, freee of the 'orrible stinky stuff. I have been so much more productive too. Love it

I'll try and catch up with the rest of the thread in a bit... trying not to be at PC too much because then i don't even want the e-cig!

MirandaWest · 10/04/2013 08:41

Morning (predictive text just turned that into ironing. This would be wrong).

Still have feeling of doom/flat feeling/crap. Urgh. Need to get us all up and go out and hope the damn thing just goes away. Am hoping could maybe be my sort of period with virtually no blood which appears occasionally (have coil which means v little in this line but does give me doom feeling sometimes). Think am also a bit feeling weird that is nearly two years since XH and I split so divorce might happen some time as we were waiting for two years apart. Don't know why that's troubling me but even had a dream about him last night which left me feeling annoyed when I woke up.

I just need to get up don't I?

KirstyWirsty · 10/04/2013 09:06

Morning all

Miranda why are you waiting 2 years?

Castro one of the rules is trust your instincts .. Another is if it isn't fun stop ..

I just got a text from TheBoy in reply to the one I sent 2 days ago ( perhaps it is a posh boy thing to be slow to respond velvet?? .. What is happening with cuthbert??)

We haven't made firm plans for Saturday .. I think I will wait till tonight to reply and then suggest a time and place and see what he comes back with

Ah well breakfast beckons .. I have been being super good as don't want to go home having put on weight if I'm going to be shagging the youngster (that just sounds wrong lol) and been doing a fair bit of swimming .. The weather was glorious yesterday

KinNora · 10/04/2013 09:08

Yes, I did mean OWW and in fact meant to type that - d'oh.

It's excellent news that you feel so positive, I imagine parallels can be drawn with cutting free from a particularly unpleasant man - you're infinitely better off without him/them.

I will tell Showbiz I want to go elsewhere. The Software pangs are, I think, solely down to the draw of cuddled-up-tv-watching but that really isn't enough on which to base a relationship.

Miranda I have a Mirena and get very similar PMT-esque feelings of doom, which I don't recognise until I get the pseudo-period, then I go 'aha that's why I've been weeping for the past three days and wanting never to talk to anyone again'.
I think it's probably also normal to feel sadness/weirdness about your ex, I find the best thing to do when I feel like that is to give myself a specific mope window of say half an hour, indulge and then when the mope window's over, very firmly tell myself to leave it out now.

KirstyWirsty · 10/04/2013 09:09

nora why are you going out with showbiz??

lubey keep up the good work

What happened to yoga?

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