Don't let me fall for this one...

[FennCara]

Significant anniversary yesterday.

Separated from EA H for a few months now.

H sent a message very late at night expressing his 'remorse' and 'anger at himself' for splitting up with me. I 'never understood him' apparently.

This is rather out of character, but when it happens such U-turns rarely last long with him. I'm assuming he hasn't got laid this week and is feeling lonely.

Don't let me fall for it!

I split from my ea ex recently too. I wrote an email to myself about an ea bastard he is so I can read it when Im feeling weak. It tells me what a twat he is and how great I am - easily forgotten when with someone who is ea.

He may say he feels remorse, but he is blaming you for not understanding him. There is no remorse there, and the only anger is towards you.

You never understood him?

So basically, it was all your fault that he was EA to you? I mean, if you had tried harder to 'understand' him he probably would never have behaved in such a mindbogglingly poor way in the first place.

Listen to what he is telling you. That is no apology.

I'm not seeing that as a 'trying to win you back' email. I'd just take t as sorry and file it.

Fall for what?! He's saying you never understood him - ie you were to blame. It was your inadequacy. He's just deep and fascinating and justified in being abusive because he's so complex and you just didn't get him.

What an arrogant prick. Forget the tosser. Stay strong!

I should clarify. It's a shit attempt at sorry. Just more of the same bollocks but to make him feel better. It's not about you, just an attempt from him to put a spin on it so he can excuse himself.

That's what I suspected. As it happens I understand him very well: I've read Lundy Bancroft .

[staying strong emoticon]

Would help if I wasn't at the mercy of pregnancy hormones, these distort my thinking.

Oh god Fenn pg hormones are a lot to contend with at the best of times! 18 weeks pg here and I'm all over the place emotionally.

So I salute your strength! Stay strong, stay above all his murky half-apologies, muttered justifications, head-fuckery.

You can do it!

That's not remorse.

That's blaming you!

Stay strong.

Delete and ignore.

x

Agree with valace

if anything he's trying to make himself feel excused of his behavior whilst having a final pop at you.

Well done for leaving the B & congrats on your pregnancy!

Send one back. "Oh but I do understand you and I understand you're trying to blame your abusive behaviour on me. Now fuck off."

^^ send what Imperial said. Then delete his message.

Hang in there x

How very right you are.

H came to pick up the children for contact:

"By the way I didn't say why I was angry or remorseful. Don't jump to any conclusions. I'm not explaining myself to you..." etc. etc.

I learn tonight from a very drunk friend that he is fucking a woman almost twice my age. Wow. The things you learn when the only sober one at parties! Apparently he is deeply hurt by me, he would have done anything for me, he couldn't waste his life moping, I just don't get it...

THEN WHY DIDN'T HE TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN BEING?

Why do people relay this type of thing?

Entitled, predictable twat.

He didn't treat you like a human being because he doesn't know how to be one himself.

Ignore... but IMO don't delete as, in time, his wanky texts will be useful to look back on and gasp belly laugh at the pain they caused back then. Because they certainly won't later.

I received 'why don't you get a knife and slice off your cellulite and fuck off and die. Which part of fuck off and die don't you understand. Also there is no god. Stupid.'

They're just twitfucks who can't be real men. They just like examining and playing with their baby knobs in a mirror.