why do i do this ?

[seriouslyneedhelp]

I have name changed as i am a regular and would be mortified if anyone worked out who i was.
I have been married for nearly 10 years with 1 ds. Mostly happily. Anyway my husband plays rugby and one of his team mates let it be known he liked me. All fine until one evening i decided to flirt back. What has happened now is a fliipin obsession with him. Literally cannot stop thinking about him. Mental. He is married with kids, like me. He, while telling everyone he likes me, also tells everyone I like him, including my husband, i.e. we are going to run off together. Much ribbing going on. Meanwhile he talks to everyone about me. However also very flirty bloke with everyone. What is going on with me. Please tell me how to stop thinking about him. I do not want to hurt masses of people. Why am i struggling then to get back to normal?

"why do I do this?" doesnt sound like the first time you have gotten a crush on someone?? if he is telling everyone -including your husband- that you are running away together it seems pretty obvious to me that he is joking... what does your husband say to those comments?

Ignore him! It may just be a laugh, there may be something in it, but don't go there. These things really do end in so many tears! You are Infatuated probably because its a different man appearing to give you new attention, it's an ego thing, but making relationship decisions based on fundamentally ego is no wise move!
My advice is to side step it, he will get bored and you will never know the heartache that you just saved yourself and others! X

probably should have titled it- why did I do this! Actually have never put myself in this situation before. I agree it does sound jokey and at my and husbands expense. i just cant stop thinking about him. and want to stop. Sounds silly but is bloody painful!

Thank you dippy. Side step it i will. Just need to tell my brain that

Focus on your husband, why do you like him, what good points does he have... Do it for him. Focus! everytime OM comes to your mind

Look at some of the other threads about affairs on here ..see the damage all round. See it for what it is, flattery, the flush of new feelings, how you felt as a teenager, then look back at your own man and remember that, and what you have built together since. Wish you happiness and peace, it's underestimated until its gone!