H not getting on with dd

[npg1]

Hi. Need some advice, its making me miserable.

I have married my new partner. I have 2 children aged 10 and 6. Dd1 loves her step dad, dd2 is going through a funny phase at the moment. She gets upset and in moods easily which really winds H up. He thinks I baby her too much. He says she winds him up all the time, that she is nasty and he doesbt like her. I am finding her difficult at the moment, making me very stressed out too. Both dds have gone through alot of change recently. Their dad has a new baby in family now.

H has just said to me he would rather be at work! He lounges around not wanting to go out and wonders why the kids r climbing the walls.

Any advice please x

[Rainbowinthesky]

Let him go then although I doubt he has any intention of going. You made a mistake but you don't need to keep on paying for it. Have some time on your own being single and don't rush into being so serious so quickly again.

[Hissy]

He's not just a cocklodger. He's an abusive cocklodger.

(((hugs)))

It takes on average 2 years for an abuser's mask to slip. He's just started.


Your instincts are screaming at you, and you, understandably have sought help in the form of AD medication.

My love, this man wants your littlest one out of his hair. Are you supposed to put her up for adoption or something?

Please, for your babies, for yourself, tell him he doesn't have to put up with anything, and actually, neither do you.

He needs to leave. ASAP. If it's as "unbearable" as he intimates, he'll jump at the chance to get out now, won't he.

Be strong, throw the bastard out.

[lunar1]

Let him go, and don't let him come crawling back

[Hissy]

Meant to say, no amount of medication will fix this. The issues isn't you. It's him.

[DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved]

Please let him leave, make him understand that if he's asking you to choose... You ll always choose your children.

[Hissy]

Let him go
let him go
let him go, let him go, let him go.

You won't regret it.

[StuntGirl]

I agree the signs were there and you missed/ignored them.

Time for a serious discussion with him spelling out exactly what you expect to change and what will happen if he doesn't. A grown adult behaving like this over a child is unacceptable.

Your children deserve more than this.

[NeedlesCuties]

What a pig.

:(

Your DDs need you to do what is right for them.

If he can't stand the heat, then let him walk.

[StuntGirl]

Oh, x-post. Let him leave. You'll be happier without him, promise.

[juneau]

I have wasted all my savings that I had 10k on the wedding and am left with nothing if he goes

You're kidding - you'd stay in this useless union just because you blew your savings on getting married ???

You need to have a very serious think about your priorities (which should be your DC first, your love life second), forgetting about what the wedding cost FFS, as if that has anything to do with anything at all, and then decide if living with this useless man is actually doing any of you any good. Because he sounds like a lazy sponger who wants you to earn lots of money and wishes you didn't already have kids.

[npg1]

Hes just said dd2 is a spoilt brat

[Viviennemary]

Your DD is only a small child. I'm presuming the one who doesn't get on with your new DH is the six year old. She has been through an extremely difficult time and now her own Dad has a new baby. This must be really hard. I think you and your H should be a lot more sympathetic to her. Not saying excuse really naughty behaviour. It doesn't sound as if your DH has launched himself very enthusiastically into family life. It sounds as if he's more to blame than your DD.

[Rainbowinthesky]

What the hell are you doing posting here about the insults your husband is making about your six year old? I wouldn't all my dc father talk about my dc in this way but you seem to and post blithely about it on an internet forum!

[SquinkiesRule]

What an Arse, he does need to go, and he needs to go now. Don't subject your child to this excuse of a man. It doesn't matter if he doesn't really like her, as an adult you put on your brave face and you do the right thing, even if you want to scream and yell at the kids behavior. Poor girl, she lost her Mum to this man and now has lost her Dad to a new baby, even if the adults don't see things that way I bet she does.
Kick him out, put on pajamas and have a cuddle on the couch with the girls.

[Hissy]

Is he still there... Thought he was leaving?

Go get some bin bags and help the fucker pack.

[Machli]

He's said he's leaving? Good! Tell him to go right now. It's perfect. I know you probably think its easy for us to say but I dumped someone for far less. Please please tell him to go.

[OhLori]

Wishing you luck OP. honesty re. future is best, but you must be feeling pretty crap , and I expect your feelings hurt investing in this . Anyway good luck for the future for you and your children.

[bestsonever]

He's a manchild who could do with some home truths, before you ask him to leave.

[macdoodle]

:( I think my DD2 can be a spoilt brat. My lovely DP will stand up for her every single time (she may have him twisted tightly round her little finger, but actually its quite sweet ). Get rid!

[TurnipCake]

There is a nasty brat in your household, hopefully you're helping him to stuff his belongings into bin liners

[npg1]

He is upstairs getting showered. Im downstairs with kids. I told him to go out and then get his stuff kater cos dont want kids seeing

[Doha]

Make sure he goes and don't let him back.

[LoveThatWednesdayFeeling]

Hi OP
what a horrible situation for you, and for your daughter. All I would say to you is be the very best parent that you can be. Ask yourself if were to ride this out, how would he cope with a stroppy, hormonal teen?

Children know more than we sometimes give them credit for.