The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

[Mouseface]

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. :)

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you :)

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon :)

Oh purple that is such a hard thing to face, but so happy she has found d a lovely family to go to. It is still hard for you though. Like when you have to have them put to sleep - you know its the best thing for them, but it is so very hard.

Thank you Ma been in tears here - giving her her last evening meal (and way too many treats), getting all her bits together. DD will never forgive me. This couple are so lovely. They've both e-mail me and we've spoken on the phone a lot. The thought of vet's bill has always been on my mind. The last thing she had go wrong was an infected womb. She nearly died. I paid nearly £900 for the op and to get her better. Just the flea thing last month cost over £35 to sort out. And no, no insurance, it's more expensive the older they get and she's 9 now. We've shared 7 lovely years. Going to try and hang on to that. x

Oh purps try and hang on to that. Keep repeating to yourself, I am doing this because I love you. Somehow, she will understand. Dd will forgive you in time, but she will need a bit of time to be angry and sad. Hang in there babe

Ma - yep, I get the numbness, so similar it's sad. At 19 she shouldn't be going through this. She NEEDS AN MRI xx

Off to bed, chat more about it all tomorrow xxx

fuzzy don't think of it as failure, think about all of this as a great experiment. You have 'experimented' with drinking one beer, and you found that it led to you drinking loads more. OK. So take notice of the results of that experiment. Learn from it. If you try the same experiment again, you'll probably get the same result. Learn from that. And then try something different. Try tipping the beer down the sink; try drinking something non-alcoholic; try going to bed with a mug of cocoa. And see what results you get.

JWN I didn't get the s/s thing either, I thought it might be socks and sandals, but I couldn't see you being so crass....

joey I used to get night terrors too. Waking up screaming, throwing the covers off, chasing imaginary snakey-things out of the bed. I did some nlp treatments and also I stopped drinking. Don't know which one worked but dp hasn't been startled in the night for about 3 years.

Oh purple it is so difficult to let a creature you love go to a better home. But it does sound as though you have found a fabulous new family to care for your dog. What could be better? I had to let my cat go to another family once, so I understand some of how you feel.

Is there anything you can do to create some kind of ritual or ceremony for her? Like a school leaving ceremony - something where you acknowledge her value in your life, and her aging, and her moving on. Get a paw-print, get a photo. Feel ok about feeling sad, and feel ok about feeling happy for her new life. Accept that you feel two feelings at once. And always remember the happy times.

hi everyone
sorry this is so hard, purple

feeling a bit drained and strung out at the moment. just checking in to see how you all are

have a good easter x

Venus " dp hasn't been startled in the night for 3 years" made me spit coffee out.
My dh hasn't been startled in the night for much longer than that!

ha ha ma I didn't think about that when I posted.

The 'imaginary snakey-thing' wasn't his either - it was usually huge and black!

Venus you've done it again. Just stop digging!
Right, suppose I'd better get out of bed and tackle the ironing mountain before we have a land slide and someone becomes engulfed by laundry.

Just spat mine out too ma you saucy mare, day 6 here!!! purple I have 4 dogs and 2 cats so I know how much you can love a dog, our Labrador was given to us by a young couple with young kids who didn't have time to excercise him, when he came to stay he ran round my mum's huge garden and never looked back, he has had a wonderful life and is now 15 and we are preparing to have him put to sleep, he is not in pain but is breathing heavily and with difficilty and is incontinent but if that couple had kept him he would never have had a life running around in fields with other dogs and horses, they did the right thing for the sake of the dog as are you, big hugs x x x

Day 3 feeling much better hope every one is ok x

purple can you go and visit her, or ask them to send you photos of how she's settled in? You are being so brave doing what's right for her.

venus I will look into nlp thank you.

mouse I don't think I believe in ghosts, and unfortunately the night terrors come on so quickly you can't think, let alone think rationally. It's literally - wake up with blood-curdling screams, and only afterwards remember vague feelings of a presence in the room. Apparently it's more common in children, and puzzles parents because a child can appear terrified, but the next morning remember nothing (unlike nightmares)

But I had my relaxation podcast and slept well last night. DH has a hangover! He doesn't usually drink too much, and I am feeling smug

Thank you Venus day 2 and sick, had to cancel work today but at least I don't even fancy a drink! Off to the ideal home show tomorrow, got a champagne bar to swerve but hopefully that will go with success!
Purple my heart goes out to you. I have two dogs and had to give away my third 5 years ago as she snapped at my youngest. Despite being tiny I still felt the dynamics wouldn't work as kids scared her. She is so happy now with a retired couple and is allowed to be the spoilt lap dog she was obviously so destined to be! I have seen her since but she's so happy it made me realise that it was the best thing xxx

Morning babes
Boing boing have almost completed dry lent, day 49 today! Got a party tonight which will be my first real challenge since I have been a recluse the last 7 weeks!
I've almost finished the Allen Carr easyway book so think I am getting my mindset into thinking I am not depriving myself of not drinking at the party tonight.

I am depriving myself of humiliating myself, the shame, guilt & 4 day depression.

I am gaining enjoying myself, remembering the night, conversations I have & feeling up for Easter Sunday tomorrow! Whoo hoo!

Purple really feel for you, sounds like whatever decision you made was going to be difficult but you've found a warm, loving home for your dog, hope you can take comfort in knowing your dog will be cared for.

Mouse hope things ok with you & this cold weather eases up for you & Nemo

Wishing all babes a Happy Easter xx

Thank you Ma, Clutter, Fuzzy, Baby, Joey, Curry and Venus. I've just got back. Walking in the house without her here has knocked me for six.

Travelled just over an hour to meet the two chaps half-wayish. I got to this lovely country park early so I could give Libby a last walk and tire her out for her journey to her new home - to make it easier for her. I was doing OK, in fact felt a bit hard-hearted as it seemed like any other walk, until I got a call from one of the chaps saying they'd arrived in the car park. I barely held it together from then 'til I drove off out of the car park, catching a glimpse of her in the back of their car.They are so nice. They gave me huge hugs and promised to look after her for me. I know they will. I had to pull over just after I set off because I couldn't see where I was going.

They have e-mailed me already. Seems Libs had a great journey back in the car, went straight up to their front door and her and her I hope soon to be best mate are a little wary of each other but no aggression. He's going to mail me later this evening. I asked that he didn't phone for a few days.

Yes, Joey they are really happy to keep contact and send photos. They have left it to me as to the volume/frequency of contact. It's a bit too far to visit and I think that might make it worse for DD.

I know I'm feeling like this because I feel sorry for myself and feel guilty that I couldn't do a better job with her. She deserved so much more than me. I feel pretty shit at just about everything just now.

Got to face DD tomorrow. Dreading it.

I so wish there was someone here to hug me up.

Will look all 'piggy-eyed' tomorrow from all this crying.

Sorry, me, me, me again. Will get back to reading the thread really soon.

Oh well done purps That was a brave thing to do and what a lovely family you have found for her. Tell dd how happy Libby is already with her new people - maybe Libby could send dd a little letter in a few weeks time? Be prepared for dd to be angry - but hold on to the thought that you have done the right thing

Oh Purple -

I agree with Ma that DD could be angry and take it out on you for a few days but YOU HAD ABSOLUTELY NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO CHOICE in this. At all. She'll be sad and upset too but you have to put yourselves first money wise and at least you took the time and effort to re-home her with a caring family, who already have a dog, want her, will love her, have emailed you, met you halfway, accepted how upset you are and are happy to keep in contact with you.

YOU did the hard part, but also the kindest thing for Libby that you could have given the circumstances. I know that it seems unbearable now but hold onto the pictures of her, the days out, the nights in, the daft things she did, the bloody annoying and horrifying things she did too, hold onto her however you want to and try to take the pressure off yourself.

I'm sorry that you are so upset, it's just not nice is it? Are you alone today? Why not treat yourself to a lovely, long bath later, with some gorgeous bath products in? I'm planning on having a bath later, all things being equal! [doubtful emoticon]

I've been to Boots and stocked up on my fave Sanctury Spa products. Why not try and do something nice for YOU? xx

Joey - yep, night terrors rather than ghosts I agree :) sorry that you get them though, they are terrifying aren't they :( Don't be about feeling smug re DH, it's good that you've not joined him :) xx

Clutter - I hope you have a wonderful time, we're having a kind of 'date night' here later if Nemo will let me, I'm planning some pampering so I look well for the visit to my parent's tomorrow. I'm wondering how many family members will tell me just how tired I look!!! Grrrrr.

You've done so well to get this far, I'm so pleased that you have managed to get over any blips and carried on :) xx

venus - how's DD?

Right, I better go and 'do' something more with Nemo or he'll drive me nuts for the afternoon. He has now found Fireman Sam :)

purple I'm hugging you as tightly as I can, wish it was a RL hug but the sentiment is the same, x x x

Huge huge hugs for purple! It sounds like you have been put through the ringer emotionally today but it sounds like you have done the right thing by Libby.
Mouse hope you get your date night tonight & a lovely nights sleep do you look glowing & radiant tomorrow! I've just been for weekly shop & ds convinced me to get him another Spider man DVD so I have 5 mins peace...bliss!
Joey I can so relate to your night terrors, I often have these & dh has to hold me tight & say clutter it's ok, wake up, then i'm always spooked fr ages. I'm not sure if it's a night terror as I can normally remember my dream & it's usually one of 3 recurrent dreams. One is at my old flat & I look out the window & see this really scary, creepy old lady at the bottom & I'm terrified she'll see me then she turns & starts to come towards me then I start screaming. Another is that I always at my Grans house which is weird as when I was younger this was always a place I felt safe yet in my dreams I always feel scared when I'm there!
X

Meant to say, bloody fabulous clutter on the dry Lent. You have done an amazing job.

Sending love to Ma, Mouse, Baby and Clutter Thank you for the hugs, they mean so much. Mouse Yes, I'm on my own and in some ways that's a good thing. I'm wallowing a bit. The long, tight hugs were awesome!

Really surprised. Just got a call from DD. I messaged XP to let her know that Libby was happy so far etc. She asked if I was OK (cue controlled blubbing). 'Yes' says me! Instead of the anger I was expecting, she was sympathetic and worried about me! Bless her cotton socks. I know her feelings/moods will/may change but I'm really touched tonight.

Mouse Have a fab date evening with DH. So hope Nemo lets you two have a romantic night. x

Clutter Well done on 49 days! Amazing! x

Clutter and Joey Sorry to hear about the night terrors/bad dreams. Hope you both have dreamless sleep tonight. My worse thing is that I dream that I have woken up - a lot! So everything that is happening feels so vivid. Thanks for that, brain!

Aw Purple, that's amazing. That must be a huge weight of your mind & not only do you not have to justify a decision that has broke your heart but your dd is caring & loving towards you...huge double bonus!!
I'm getting ready to go to party & not really looking forward to it. Not because I can't drink but more I can't be bothered. I like getting little one tucked into bed at 7pm then having a couple of hours to relax but hey ho te plan is to go for half 7 & leave at 10. Taking the car x