The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

[Mouseface]

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. :)

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you :)

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon :)

Green, I think it's essential in the effort to keep those all important channels of communications open. If you want to save things still, it'd be a great start. xxx

Me? Same old boring shit. Sigh. x

Oh purple wish I could help. :( keep on keeping on my love

oh dear, lots of people struggling - is the mid-week dip?

sorry to add to it, the poor old Bus will be weighed under with all our woes, not to mention worms, fleas, bird mites and oily squids.

I can't get over how much we have let down my DD (last night we had an insight into how much she was struggling at school) and I keep dwelling on this image of her sitting in a maths lesson and none of it makes sense. Is this how dyslexics feel, when everyone else can read what's on the blackboard, and for them it's just gobbledegook?

Every time I think of her being completely bewildered by yet another new concept (having barely grasped the last one) being put on the spot by my FIL and her panic, god I just feel sick. Why am I so emotional?

Would my therapist say this is triggering some incident from my own childhood? I'm trying not to get upset. Hell.

joey I think your feelings are perfectly natural, we all want to protect our kids from hurt. And parenthood comes with a huge dose of guilt, we always feel we could/ should do or have done more. Take it easy on yourself xx

And yes I think this bus needs rentokill!

Thanks Green Feel like a lost cause just now. x

Hi Joey. I think you are underestimating the fact that you are firmly on her side - behind her all the way. She will know that Sweetpea. That means tons! When I was 12 and had just moved from London to Wales, due to my Mum dying, I had to join what was then year 2 in a completely different education system. Homework: I'd never done long division, my Dad wasn't interested in helping me (well, my step mother wouldn't allow him to). Didn't complete my long division homework and the (very Welsh nationalist) teacher made me stand up and said "Why haven't you done this work? You must be stupid, girl!" The whole class laughed at me and I vowed that I would never make an effort at maths ever again! If that happened to my children, I would probably punch the teacher in the face - even though I'm not taken to bouts of violence. Keep on supporting her and make sure she knows that there are other things that she's fab at (which you will already be doing). x

greeny thanks

purple that must have been a horrible memory for you That generation just seemed (to me) to have such weird attitudes towards children

DD has just told me that I shouldn't have shouted at Grandad, maybe I ought to apologise to him (over my dead body) and she was worried that DH and I would get divorced over it. (the tension on Sunday was very noticecable)

Feel like I have fucked up all round.

Am thinking about going to one of those Smart meetings tonight, feel as though I need to get out of the house. Nervous about it though. What if its full of yoofs on crack cocaine?

Joey You haven't fucked up at all!! You stood up for your daughter in a bad situation - and didn't get any support for DH (friggin' wuss! Sorry!). DD is just a bit confused about being in the middle of tension and feeling a bit responsible - which she isn't. Just keep telling her it's not her fault and explain why you said what you did. Give me the PIL's address - I'll be round to tell the insensitive so-and-so what's what!! xxxx

I just think I could have handled it more maturely, oh well...

Hello

I haven't posted here for a long time but seeing as I'm about to hit rock bottom I think it's time to do something about my drinking.

I drink almost everyday now, at least a bottle of wine. I often start before the DCs are in bed, drinking it out of a mug. I am not a terrible mum - I look after my DCs, always read them a bedtime story etc. But I realise if anyone knew I was drinking in front of them I'd be in huge trouble. I am a single mum.

I wake up almost everyday with a hangover, having had a terrible sleep. I read the quote "I'm sick and tired of waking up sick and tired" today and it really struck a chord with me! I need to stop drinking, I'm desperate to stop. I'm a mature student and I'm failing my course because I'm not doing the work - I'm too drunk.

DCs are with their dad tonight and I'm determined not to drink. Please help me kick this evil habit ladies!

Hi everyone, I have been reading but no time to post til now. I'm such a newbie, I don't feel qualified to offer proper support but I just read your post buddy and don't want to read and run.

If the kids are at their dad's tonight, what are you going to do rather than drink? Have a bath, make a nice dinner, watch a film, maybe replace booze with chocolate and trashy magazines? I know it's not that easy but it's worth a go. Keep posting on here this evening.

I went out last night with a mate and didn't drink which is practically unheard of unless I am seriously ill. Felt good, slept really well.

Just wondered how others cope getting to sleep without alcohol? I have been taking one herbal Nytol tablet each night to guarantee a good night's sleep but is that a good idea?

Tbh I have a zolpidine every nite instead of bottle of wine. I think its an improvement and am sleeping really well. Would like to not have that though ideally.

Checking in to add to the woes. In the grip of the wine witch and hating myself.no reason other than self indulgence, habit and being cowardly.
indie good to see you my friend
purps likewise!
And green and alias and everyone else.
Dd2 has gone to my sis in Belgium, dd1 still in Spain and dh and Ds heading to Liverpool on Friday. I will be free for two whole days!!

Welcome buddy I think elporto has made some good points about what you are going to do tonight instead of drinking. Just try and take it One Day At a Time (or even One hour at a time)

I tried to go to a Smart meeting but there was no one there! I should have phoned first, but I hate using the phone. It's been a complete waste of a day all round...

Hi babes , I'm sorry to all you guys struggling, I'm on day 4 and not missing the actual wine too much but more the ability it gives me to cope with all the shite that us mums have deal with!! Dh is a moody, selfish
Eejit, dd 1 is a moody selfish teenager and dd2 is a moody,badly behaved toddler. They are all getting on my nerves and I'm scared that this is who I am sober, not much fun and bored and frustrated with man I'm supposed to love. Being dependant on wine is scary but when you see the fragilities in your relationships, that's scary too!!!! Life is hard x x

Thanks ladies, I've spent this eve working on an essay which is due tomorrow. There is no way I will have it completed in time, if only I had been working on it weeks ago instead of getting drunk I wouldn't be failing!

Baby- I can totally relate to wine as a coping strategy for life. I drink to numb feelings and emotions to help me forget my problems. It has only recently dawned on me that drinking is actually causing a lot of the problems I have!

One day down without drinking - I am feeling determined!

So, so pleased for you Isinde! Go you!!

inside glad things are a bit better for you, twins must be really hard work but to stay as a family, the couple must stay strong!! purple you are as always full of wisdom, how you doing today? Its grey and overcast in Scotland, just how I feel, day 5 here and family life is relentless and very mundane, hope this will improve!! Ps was at the hospital
Yesterday re my Crohn's and my bloods came back with a good liver function test so fear not there's hope for all of us, have a good day fellow babes x x x

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Sorry not to read back properly, just wanted to come on and maybe waffle or add some small amount of wisdom to the day, I'll let you decide. :)

It's there, right next to me right now, that glass of my favourite tipple. Just waiting for me to take that first sip because I have left my boy crying for me in Preschool, nearing the end of his second week without me. It breaks my heart and I want to numb that pain, block that memory out. He's so small, so fragile, so light and not well again with another cold.....

The drink that's there, next to me, begging to be drunk is just a quick fix, a shot, literally, of anaesthetic, it'll make a smile dance across my lips, feel a wonderful sigh of relief release from my lungs, my shoulders relax, my body loosen, my mind empty, and then, when the glass is empty, I'll make another, after all, I don't have to drive anywhere today. I just have to keep going, one foot in front of the other. Move forward, move a step closer to sobriety, and a step further away from my tipple.

However, the drink is getting closer to me the more upset I get about the things going on right now, Nemo, DD being upset with her friends falling out, the fridge freezer fucking up, not sleeping, higher pain levels, bills, no time with my husband, putting weight on because I'm comfort eating and feeling fat, ugly, heavy and very unsexy. I fell ugly and that drink will make that all go away won't it. Oh I can't wait to sip it, neck it, down it.

I'm not going to of course, because there is no drink next to me. The rest is real, the pain, the upset, Nemo is ill again because Mother Nature is dragging her ass bringing Spring on....

But it's my default setting. Drink. Reach for what I know works, what I know can kick the ass of my emotional pain, my physical pain and the rest of the shit that's going down right now.

I hate the power that drink holds over me, IF I LET IT and TODAY, I will not let it. I'm not giving in. I refuse to let something so pathetic make me smaller, make me fail, make me become reliant on it to get through my day, this day, TODAY.

I'm not preaching or judging anyone, this is all about my and how I feel today about drink, about how I feel right now and I'm sorry for just turning up and waffling on but I needed to post and this is my safe haven to do that.

Stay safe Babes, stay strong too. xx

Oh, mouse. So sorry to hear you're not having a good day.

Please don't drink, love. We know you are strong.

You are a lovely woman, and Nemo has done so, so well lately - please keep remembering that, because it is so very clear from all your posts how much you manage.

(It's LRD here btw, just wanted to post straightaway without faffing with NCs)

You, my Lovely, are an amazing woman (and very easy on the eye, to boot!!). So sorry you are struggling just now. You have so many more reason than I to reach for that anaesthetic but you have been so amazingly strong in not doing so. All the shit I go through - you have had the same and a half - or more!

So glad you posted. Don't ever feel bad about 'waffling on', you tit! You'll get heaps of support and love on here because that's what you give us all, endlessly.

Love, hugs and a slap round the face with Barry for being sorry for posting!

xxxxxxxx

PS You still up for a visit in the summer? x

I'm not going to drink especially as I don't have any drink here! :) Thank you LRD xx

Purps - thanks for the 'you tit'! and yes to the visit in the Summer hols, you and IsinDe are going to be squeezed into the 3ish free weeks we have out of the six. :)

I'm eating salad but I want cheese on toast because I'm cold, I was good for brekky, I had a crumpet which are surprisingly okay on the cals front and salad for lunch is good, homemade pizza for dinner with lots of veggies, plus no full fat anything should see the pounds buggering off. I hate being muffined around the middle.

Will check in again later, another page of DLA form to do and then off to get the boy, with huggles all the way :)

Thank you Babes xxxxx

mouse you are amazing, your family and fridge freezer are so lucky they have you and we wino babes are lucky to have you too. If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger then you have the heart and courage if a LION(ESS) enormous hugs and ps I've seen your picture and you my little lady are a fox x x x