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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wondering Where The Spring For Their Boing Is!

999 replies

Mouseface · 24/03/2013 12:23

Hi I'm Mouse

One of the Brave Babes on the Bus, a Bus full of different posters, some who drink more than they'd like to and are trying to stop, some who don't drink at all now, and some who are somewhere in the middle. :)

There's no judging here, no finger pointing, no rejection, just pure, unconditional, (occasionally tough), love and empathy.

We all share stories of how we got here, to have our seat on the Bus, looking for our own personal sobriety, our own personal happiness. Sometimes we talk about other things too, you know, like cake, cheese Wink and even day to day life, life that can lead us to breaking point......... lead us to hit rock bottom.

So, why not come say hi, take a seat, post, lurk, whatever suits you :)

This is our latest journey with a link to others

And this is the reason we're ALL here, the first ever thread

Hope to see you soon :)

OP posts:
Isindebusagain · 16/04/2013 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Isindebusagain · 16/04/2013 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dementedma · 16/04/2013 22:01

Well done indie needless to say I didn't make day two. I did however go out for a run. Why can I force myself to DO things but can't force myself NOT to do things?

greeneyed · 16/04/2013 22:04

Me neither Ma :(

ohcluttergotme · 16/04/2013 22:05

Well Done Isindie, that was pretty much the same tactic used here. Was thinking what a shit nights sleep I'd get, how awful I'd feel at my own team meeting first thing then the dread for meeting new team in the afternoon. Phoned my dm & in her helpful way she said, just think of pouring yourself huge glass on Friday night & know you deserve it Confused
Night babes x

LRDtheFeministDragon · 16/04/2013 23:13

It's so good to come on here and read you lot all having the tussles (and winning!) too. ma, green - tomorrow's another day, we'll all get there.

Thanks for the video, green.

Night night babes. Sleep tight. Smile

sinamenstix · 16/04/2013 23:14

isindie had to laugh at mine sweeping cooking wine, have been known to slug at home brew beer (rank!) in the wee small hrs..Good luck with contract tomorrow

curryeater · 17/04/2013 06:59

Day 1

greeneyed · 17/04/2013 07:10

Me too curry we can do it! X

FuckOffMrBloom · 17/04/2013 07:20

Morning!

Day three, feeling ok but then I don't really struggles to not drink in the early week. Tonight will be more of a conscious Not Drinking as DH goes out, but I'm feeling very resolved.

I like the idea of playing the video to the end. Thank you.

sinamenstix · 17/04/2013 07:43

morning babes day 4 here, mr bloom like you a trigger for me is when the scene is set to 'get away with it'...thats a good idea re video, am also thinking if i pick up a drink can i guarantee 100% that i can control this..and the answer for me is a big fat NO

Hi greeneyed and curry you can do it..just for today

finding honey & lemon with hot water a bit of a tonic..tho not to be mixed with gin!

x

Fairenuff · 17/04/2013 08:18

sina all you have to do is not have that first drink. Don't worry about the rest, they will take care of themselves. Just don't pick up the first one x

Ma I think doing something gives us a positive feeling of accomplishment. Not doing gives us a negative feeling that we are depriving ourselves of something we want.

For me, I really need to have positive goals and healthy living is a good one. It means that not only do I eat well and exercise regularly and try to be moderate in all things, but that I also don't poison myself. At least not regularly Grin

Maybe try that? You are going to do an amazing thing, you have had the courage, strength and self confidence to sign up for an enduring run. You should give yourself, and your body, the respect you deserve. Even if you just drink alternate days to start with, could you build in some more AF days from there?

babyjane1 · 17/04/2013 08:55

Hi babes, I have fallen off the bus on day 3 and would like to share why because I demonstrated classic "trigger" behaviour. My dh and dd are at loggerheads, he is her stepdad and they are very close but since she has become a teenager she is becoming much more difficult which is causing friction generally but I'm very soft and generally allow her to bully me and he does not!! Anyway world war 3 broke out last night and my anxiety levels went through the roof and without even stopping to consider my behaviour I was back from the shop and actually gulped the first glass to provide a kind of ready break protection around me (if you remember the advert) anyway it confirms I need to find a way to deal with these stressful situations and i have learned from it. Thankfully I had a nice dinner beforehand so no hangover today but disappointment in myself and back to day 1!!! Stay strong babes xx

babyjane1 · 17/04/2013 08:59

Ps thank you for asking about my MRI, it went fine but won't get results till next week, it was actually to look at my bowel but I thought my liver might have blown up the machine but thank goodness it didn't xx

obrigada · 17/04/2013 10:17

"I think doing something gives us a positive feeling of accomplishment. Not doing gives us a negative feeling that we are depriving ourselves of something we want"
Faire, those words really struck a cord with me:)

Baby, well done on recognising your triggers!

HootyOwl · 17/04/2013 10:20

Morning babes.

Waving pompoms to all of you on day 1, today's a new day, you can do it. Drink plenty of water/tea/whatever it takes and remember that by even calling it day 1, you're on track for making a change for the better Smile

Jane Ah such a familiar situation to mine, however having that first drink was setting me up to become ratty with DP and DD and rather than giving me a glow of any sort, was clouding my ability to untangle the situation rationally. Rather than opening up lines of communication, I was effectively putting my barriers up and shutting off from the pair of them, which is never going to help anyone.

This book www.amazon.co.uk/Get-Out-My-Life-First/dp/1846680875/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366189258&sr=8-1&keywords=get+out+of+my+life+but+first+take+me+and+alex+into+town has been a really good read for both me and DP; sadly my DD is experiencing issues with bullying, low self-esteem and possible self-harm (guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree Sad) but reading this has really helped both me and DP learn to pick our battles and work as a team on the smaller issues and hopefully give us space to focus on the more important matters affecting my DD at the moment.

Which is yet another reason I need to kick my drinking habits, as I need to be focused and clear-headed to help my DD, rather than wallowing in mucky hangovers. Digressing, sorry, but it's really good to be able to write this down and look at my life as it really is.

babyjane1 · 17/04/2013 11:08

.hooty. I should have said the first glass gives the glow the second, third and fourth unleashes the very worst version of me so I know exactly what you are saying, it's not a good look or attitude to show my daughter and she deserves better, so does dh and that is why I'm still trying and wi succeed at being the wife and mother I am on the sober and clear evenings, life is never going to be perfect for any of us but it sure
As hell can be better SOBER.

HootyOwl · 17/04/2013 11:26

It's bloody hard, isn't it. We'll get there though, you're right,it's never going to be easy or perfect but we're making an effort to change and that is actually something we should be proud of Smile

And one day, when our DDs are dealing with their own teenage darlings, we'll be doing our best not to say "I told you so!" Grin

babyjane1 · 17/04/2013 11:37

hooty I actually laughed out loud at that post, revenge will be very sweet indeed x x x

sinamenstix · 17/04/2013 13:08

fairenuff yes it is that first drink 'i'll just have one' that leads to the second 'i'll stop after this one' that leads to the third ' oh what the hell' and so on..good advice to remember that all i need to do is stay away from the first. Mantra today is stay away from the first drink ODAAT..thanku

Baby is there anywhere you can take yourself for 5/10 mins when things start to get a bit heated (bathroom, bedroom etc) shut the door and try and ground yourself with a bit of deep breathing and just some time out to think things through. I find things escalate so quickly when tempers get flared and it is like a knee jerk reaction to reach for ye old coping strategy i.e. booze...easier said than though done i know!

greeneyed · 17/04/2013 13:12

faire helpful post as usual. I think my drinking is much like ma's in that I can stop once started but habitually drink everyday. Alternative day drinking could be doable for me as a starting point. Only a day then i can drink tomorrow. Gonna try this, thanks :)

greeneyed · 17/04/2013 17:15

I killed the thread :) hope all you babes are busy shining your light and being productive :) I am not drinking today! X

sinamenstix · 17/04/2013 18:40

green ding dong the WINE witch is dead....for tonight anyway!

(no offence intended re: Mrs T)

x

greeneyed · 17/04/2013 18:48

Well done sin she'll be swinging by here shortly i will mostly be cleaning!