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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating chat thread! Number 47

999 replies

lubeybooby · 20/03/2013 19:43

Here we go again folks, all dating related chit chat here.

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 21/03/2013 23:10

48 plus 7 Grin

ike1 · 21/03/2013 23:17

I hope so Jules potentially I could meet Mr Herbalist on the wkend but I look awful at the mo due to illness so wld rather not, and Mr Eco/bio wants to meet up too but no date set yet. They both seem lovely and polite....very refreshing ...seem to really want to know about me too...

JulietteMontague · 21/03/2013 23:24

Were these from the IE profile Ike?

DaydreamDolly · 21/03/2013 23:25

Hi all. I'm back. And I just want to say 'Grrrrrrrr' I'm giving up on men! Bah!
As you were Smile

MirandaWest · 21/03/2013 23:25

Tell us more

ike1 · 21/03/2013 23:27

Jule Mr Eco/Bio is IE, Mr Herbalist is 'normal' (if there is such a thing) POF. Going well then Dolly?

DaydreamDolly · 21/03/2013 23:35

Men can be such dicks.

I don't know. It's a weird time of year for me. This time last year I was a week overdue with DD2 and my husband was being awful to me. I am remembering a lot of things that he did around the birth and early weeks of DD2's life and it's making me sad and angry. And I don't want to be sad and angry.

To top it off, have been texting back and forth with a lovely sounding man for 2 weeks with a date scheduled for next Tuesday. Have been trying not to get too excited about it as had a few awful dates so was keeping calm. We then spent an hour on the phone Tuesday night and got on really well. Started to allow myself some excitement. Texts always been one or two a day, every day. Slow but in contact each day. I now haven't heard from him since yesterday afternoon. And I have committed the cardinal sin and double texted Blush
OMG as i type I just got a text from him! Haha! I'll report back

DaydreamDolly · 21/03/2013 23:37

Ok he's forgiven Wink says he's sorry for slow response but been so busy, etc etc. I'm not replying for at least 12 hours ignore the fact I'll be asleep for 7.5 hours

ike1 · 21/03/2013 23:37

ok!

ike1 · 21/03/2013 23:38

Cooll! Let us know how the date goes Dolly!x

JulietteMontague · 21/03/2013 23:44
VelvetSpoon · 21/03/2013 23:51

So I'm back.

He's still lovely. He honestly - and I believe him - thinks I'm lovely.

BUT (and here's the thing I have long suspected)

He is shit scared of a relationship, with anyone. Of it all going wrong.

He said as happy as liking me, and knowing I like him, makes him, it also scares him immensely. Because it involves feelings, and the risk of it all going wrong.

JulietteMontague · 21/03/2013 23:53

and?

MirandaWest · 21/03/2013 23:56

Am glad you're back Velvet and that Cuthbert is lovely :)

Being scared of a relationship is something that lots of people are scared of. What happened in previous relationships he has been in? And more importantly what do you think about him saying that?

Movingforward123 · 22/03/2013 00:02

Yes I believe you are all right I'm not going to message him! But I do deep
Like I want to!

Bant - your right he doesn't deserve my time, and I find that I only get involved with the ones that don't deserve me and want to treat me badly mainly because they have issues!

Why can't I ever just go for the nice guy?

VelvetSpoon · 22/03/2013 00:07

And I don't know, really. I don't want to stop seeing him. He wants to keep seeing me. We are going to try and see each other more often, even if just for a few hours, whenever we can. Hopefully one day over Easter, which will be nice.

Miranda, he's has 3 relationships. No 1 started when he was at school, married young, had DC, she was unfaithful to him several times, and eventually went off with someone else.

He then started relationship 2 very quickly after that break up, moved in with her practically straight away, bought a house. More DC. She was then v unhappy, I think they had counselling, it didn't work.

He left her for relationship 3, again moved in with her almost immediately. After several years she had an affair with someone v well off (if not a millionaire close to it) and kicked him out, that was almost a year ago.

From stuff he said about it tonight, I think he had a breakdown, or was v close to it. He said he couldn't function at work, left his job, withdrew from friends.

This last few months is the only time pretty much he's been single in his life. I think he fears - not unreasonably - repeating past mistakes.

JulietteMontague · 22/03/2013 00:25

Velvet well at least he has opened up, been honest and you have moe idea about what is going on. Are you content with this as it is, it seems he would benefit from some counselling if he is going to be able to move forward.

VelvetSpoon · 22/03/2013 00:46

I think for now I'm content with it. I may of course change my mind in a few weeks, but for now I'm ok. I did suspect he was scared of getting involved, so it's confirmed that. And I do understand it, because I feel similarly, but for very different reasons - a relationship has been my holy grail for what seems like forever, to think that (if he was ready) this could possibly be one is terrifying. And if I wasnt single what would I have to moan about?!

Flipper924 · 22/03/2013 07:36

I'm really pleased you're happy with the outcome of your chat, Velvet, and well done for having it. I can entirely see why C would be nervous.

It strikes me that he could do with being a bit more independent before he gets into another serious relationship, if he's practically bounced from woman to woman, straight out of his parents' home when he was younger. He seems to realise that he's made bad desicions, but If I were you, I'd want to know that he was aware of why he made those decisions, and what he's doing about that, before I committed any further to him. In the meantime, as long as you're both taking things slowly, there's nothing to stop you building a more stable relationship with him.

Moving, I agree with others, your brother's friend is a little twerp.

Good morning to everyone else. I've been too tired to engage in any dating type activity this week.

KinNora · 22/03/2013 08:10

Good morning Flipper and everyone else of course.

I need a slap with the wet fish, Mr Showbiz's contact has been less frequent this week, for some bizarre reason I'm allowing this to upset me, despite him being far from my ideal beardy, not tall enough, 11 years older I need to get a chuffing grip.

KinNora · 22/03/2013 08:11

Flipper 'twerp' is an excellent word for that category of knobber.

lubeybooby · 22/03/2013 08:25

Back! Great time had as always with #1fwb and the curry was gorgeous. Ooof my head though... too much wine!

Anyway morning all :o

Velvet, so glad you got to talk to him and that you are happy enough with the outcome for now.

OP posts:
JulietteMontague · 22/03/2013 08:33

Lubey Grin

Kin have an anchovy. Can I ask how old he is, just trying to benchmark if my idea of what to expect is within 'normal' range. The beardy has set me off iyswim.

WarmFuzzyFun · 22/03/2013 08:41

Hi All,

Sorry to post and run, but pushed for time. I am off for the weekend to the coast, with some long time girl friends. Haven't packed yet, and my dresses are proving difficult to decide between. (Would have liked to done a 'lubey' and arrange a young man to warm my bed, but no where near as organised as I'd need to be to do that)

Have cooked 3 meals, and kids' dad is staying for the weekend, (he is a good guy), clothes strewn all over my bedroom, house an absolute bombsite. My DD said 'you know there will be a deer in the kitchen when you get back?!' Yup that bad.

No doubt I'll have about 20 pages to read on my return, try your best people to keep out of trouble, the nest of vipers are at the ready though if needs be! (WFF squeezes into superhero lycra suit, 'I really must lose my winter weight!')

KinNora, and OWW Thanks

I am all of a kerfuffle ConfusedSmile

WFF is very un MNtyBlush
WFF x

KinNora · 22/03/2013 08:45

He's 57 Juliette and the 'too old' should more accurately be' a larger age gap than I've experienced in the past'.

I'm teetering on the edge of the whole precipice of 'no-one will ever want/love/shag me' thing again. Silly. Fetch a carp, stat !