Ex partner planning suicide. Should I help?

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After too many chances, I ruined our relationship with selfish, deceitful and unfaithful behaviour. I don't think any details are needed but i don't want to under play it, I was horrible and regret everything. I only want to see her happy.

I have been told by her and read public messages that she plans suicide for the end of this month or next. I know this isn't all my fault but feel guilty and still have very strong feelings for her. I believe she shouldn't forgive me even if she could so i walked away (pushed but stopped trying) thinking it was the best thing for her.

I don't know what to do. I know I could help but should I given the circumstances?

Did she give a reason for why it is planned 'for the end of this month or next'?

I don't understand what you are asking...should you help her kill herself or help her seek help?

No. Forward the messages onto the police and any other service that can help her.

As a previous poster asked, do you mean help her plan her suicide or help her get help?

If you're asking if you should help her with suicide then, bloody hell, of course not! If your asking the latter then yes, of course you should help her. A post dated suicide is surely a cry for help?!

Hmmm, I'm no expert, but if she's publicly announcing the date she intends to kill herself she's unlikely to be serious, but I wouldn't just ignore it, in case she does something stupid. Does she have any family you could contact, and tell them what she is saying?

Agree with Xales. Do not be manipulated in playing with fire. Do not even respond directly to these threats. She is responsible for her own action.

People who "plan" suicide don't normally go through with it. Its the the people who wake up one morning and just go and do it who are serious about it. I think this may be a cry for help.

Cries for help do sometimes result in death though, albeit accidentally.

Contact the police. If she is acting out for attention it will shit her up and she'll stop. If she's serious she'll get help. You can't rescue her though. Don't try.

Waiting for your reply.

I mean help by stopping her from doing it.

She is moving closer to family at the end of the month. She has kids and is waiting to move so that (a) she has the opportunity whilst the family babysit and (b) she knows the kids will be looked after.

I believe she is serious.

I am worried that if I contacted public services, it may make things worse especially if she isn't serious and moreso if anything happened to the kids.

If she isn't serious it will teach her not to be so manipulative. If she is serious it will get her help.

My soon to be ex husband used to threaten suicide. I used to minimise an deal. In the end I called 999. Best thing for him - he's now getting counselling and support.

Please help her. She is seriously depressed and needs psychological help, she is in a deep hole but she can come out of it with help. She cannot abandon those poor children.

Any chance you could suggests she posts on mumsnet for support and advice?

Contact her family, or the police.

I don't have contact details for her family

Police then. 101 or 999.

If children involved call children and families ask for duty team
If you know her gp tell gp.you say public messages?where fb,twitter?
I see some dreadful cliches on this thread,actually many people who say they feel suicidal do go on to kill selves.may not be so in this case,but the mn cliches are unhelpful

If there are kids you must tell gp or social services

Forward the messages to the police and/or social services.

If she's planning and telling people, then she might be faking.

If not, then what's going on? I've attempted suicide, but never left a note till it was a done deal.

Telling you so far ahead, doesn't ring true to me.

Sorry.

I agree with Chubfuddler. Seek help for her. If you don't then you might wish you had.

Thank you for the advice

Take care of yourself, mostly

This kind of emotional blackmail is a very low thing to do. It indicates she is serious (so needs the help) or very manipulative (so needs the short sharp shock)

Either way, it's not your responsibility and the best thing to do is let professionals deal with it.

sorry, but your thread title did make me laugh, I wondered if it was a joke thread.....

I can see that it is serious though. I think that you should tell the police or SS. If she is posting this in a "public Place", then it is hardly a secret is it.

IME most people who plan suicide dont announce it quite so publicly, I have sadly lost two family members this way and a friend and they all just disappeared and did it without anyone knowing or being able to do anything about it.

It doesnt matter if it causes trouble for her or not, she is the one saying that she will do something. If it is attention seeking then she should be ashamed of herself and if it s real, then she seriously needs help to protect herself.

The public messages are on a blogging website.

The thing is, I cover tempted to contact her. Its tearing me apart that she is hurting.

Her posts are mainly wrong assumptions about our relationship causing rumination and worse feelings. Would it help to correct her? even though I know that she doesn't believe a word I say. Or better to just keep silence?

I am also very tempted to say she can move in now (which was an issue before with current landlord) and have access to everything to see I don't and wouldn't repeat my mistakes. Plus, for her benefit, I tried to give a definitive end to the relationship so she wasn't waiting or hoping.

I get the impression she wants me to make the effort but I could be wrong and I am of the mindset that its too broken and she's better off without me. Its complex.

If you don't want her, it would be cruel to give her false hope. What would be the point of dicking around? She would end up lower than before if she thinks you only pity her.