I went to a private therapist - hence the £20k costs - for EMDR about 13 years ago. I was too cowardly to confront my dm directly, so wrote a letter of confrontation - the classic what she'd done, how I'd felt and what effect it had had on my life.
I managed to keep it down to about 6 things, and it took 4 pages. I threatened her that if she disclosed it to anyone, I'd go to the press about the things it contained. She talked to her garage tenant about it - even seemed to boast that I'd been abused by her friends. What did I do? Nothing - too spineless and useless.
Also, once I cut contact, it was as if she took everything back I'd learned from her. As a result, I can no longer do any of the creative things I was 'allowed' to do - it's as if she's stolen them. I used to sew, alter patterns, cut skirts of long dresses on the cross to use 90cm fabric, design machine knitted knitwear. I used to make candles - she muscled in on that. I was asked to do flower arrangements in a huge trough at church when they wanted the 'young people' involved - she took over that. Thankfully, she couldn't sing, or she'd have joined the choir and pushed me out of that.
My final paragraph, was to say - in terms she'd understand - that if I'd been in a children's home, I'd probably be due about £2 million in damages for lost earnings, and even more in punitive damages for lack of duty of care. Her reaction? Nothing. Just to say I'd written 4 pages of lies when I rang her from the therapist's. The tenant - whom she named as next of kin and her executor has told me repeatedly that my failed suicide attempt was a cry for help and not a real attempt - it made me feel more of a failure for not even being able to kill myself.
I also said that it was only due to the first 7 weeks of my life spent in a nursing that I didn't end up living in a shop doorway - according to one of the counsellors I saw. Apparently just that 7 weeks was enough to save me from that. When I wrote the letter it was 10 years ago, and I said it was like being a Bosnian orphan. Some good came of it - she adopted a Bosnian orphan and left her £5,000.
Everthing that had sentimental value belonged to my late df - she either told her tenant to sell them or left them specifically to other people. He's told me I can write to the legatees ie begging letters, and he's sure they'll send them to me. It's as if he's trying to continue the abuse where she left off - he won't send me the list of property sent to auction as it 'will upset me too much'. He doesn't have the right to judge - I'm 57 for fucks sake and he's only 8 years older. Patronising twat 
He took it upon himself to tell me I couldn't go to her funeral........
....I couldn't afford to, so didn't. I now think he wanted to flaunt himself a 'chief mourner' not like her nasty daughter tb. She also left money to the parish - so the Vicar thinks she was a wonderful person, too.
I just don't see what the point was of having a dd and then abusing her to such an extent - unless it was the joy of dying with her halo choking her?