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Original poster

Dating chat thread 46

999 replies

lubeybooby · 14/03/2013 13:37

all dating related chit chat here!

off we go

OP posts:
KirstyWirsty · 20/03/2013 08:14

Moving I like him .. We have good fun together (most of the time) and the sex is great but he has let me down too many times now .. It's a shame as I was willing to support him while he was going through a hard time(suspended pending enquiry at work) but he preferred to go and get pissed with his pal ('to forget for a while') than come and see me as arranged just over a week ago

I think he is a loser really .. A nicer loser but a loser nonetheless

JulietteMontague · 20/03/2013 08:16

Kirsty his behaviour has been all over the place since you've known him. Even if that was linked to his depression, that is no excuse for treating you badly. In my darkest days I have turned against myself, not others. It sounds like he doesn't take responsibility for his life, everything is someone else's fault, he alone has a lot of 'bad luck'. That wouldn't change whether he is depressed or not.

48howdidthathappen · 20/03/2013 08:22

I have behaved badly a few times. Nearly hit my daughter. Dumped Mr R&R a few times. I was always really sorry and said so.

I didn't and wouldn't let someone down to go and get pissed with a mate.

EternalRose · 20/03/2013 08:25

Hello everyone,

I have been awol, because as most of you know I have lots going on personally and even though I am a 'resident' on the dating thread I am not actually dating. I have recently been given a job, and I start on Monday so will be leaving the house I share with my ex by the end of May. All of your tales have really cheered me up, and will continue to do so while I get this next period out of the way. I will be going quiet for a while, but I am still here, thinking of you all. The next time I post will be when I have moved and settled in. ...

Lubey, Snape, KirstyWirsty, Ike, Mercury, Bant, Velvet, Juliet, WarmFuzzyFun, Pom, MovingForward...and to anyone else I have missed, I will speak to you all soon. Keep my seat warm for me.

P.S Oh, and I replied to a *watch' thread? Great.

ike1 · 20/03/2013 08:30

Hey Rose! How's you? Great news about moving and the job! Its just fabulous how strong you have been in the face of such knobbish behaviour. Yes please come back and, like, Voice, if there is anything we can do just pm or come for a chat. Its not all dating as you know..there's Soreen, darkened rooms/tardis', booze, ange...no no no....

ike1 · 20/03/2013 08:31

Oh yes...SS/Watch ...the wost case of incognito ever...

hoplittlebunnyhophophop · 20/03/2013 08:32

Morning. Kirsty, I would echo what Juliette has said about Mr Cheeky.

It was a really odd night last night. Left feeling flat and remembered that I had felt like that after previous dates with him. Definitely wasn't helped by having found out (via a friend's-colleague's-auntie's-cousin's-daughter sort of link) that someone - that a man (who is most definitely him) has been on a couple of dates with some woman who's been gushing about him. Ok, that's fine, it's not like I was dating him. But I still didn't want to hear it, minutes before I left to meet him. Wondering if he will continue dating various women now? It's not like I can ask him. But I did leave with a sort of sinking feeling that he will go off radar again anyway, can't really explain it. Suppose I will have to see what happens now.

JulietteMontague · 20/03/2013 08:34

Rose good luck with the job, hope you drop in from time to time.

Original poster
lubeybooby · 20/03/2013 08:41

hop... post date meh

I used to get it a lot. Still do sometimes. Then a few days later decide I do like them after all. :o minds are funny things.

I did wonder perhaps if he was dating other people, this busy life of his did seem a bit OTT and behaviour pointed maybe to that.

OP posts:
Original poster
lubeybooby · 20/03/2013 08:42

Rose, well done on the job and good luck with everything!

OP posts:
KirstyWirsty · 20/03/2013 08:45

Hope it all goes well Rose

48howdidthathappen · 20/03/2013 08:49

Good luck with everything Rose Smile

48howdidthathappen · 20/03/2013 08:52

Hmm. Hop Sounds as if 'I lost my phone' is bollocks.

Original poster
lubeybooby · 20/03/2013 08:59

48, yeah. The wanker I previously referred to who lost his phone or had unfortunate accidents with it about three times in as many months, and coincidentally had a super busy life turned out to actually be in a relationship with his ex wifes best friend.

It was plausible but putting more of the pieces together... maybe not so much.

OP posts:
lulubellaboozle · 20/03/2013 09:00

Rose well done and good luck!

Hop hmmmm, think I may be inclined to agree with 48, it's a wait and see I suppose, see how you feel in a day or so and see if he disppears or not.

Kirsty agree with everyone else, depression can make you want to close the doors on the rest of the world and shut people out, it doesn't make you let people down because you decided to get pissed with a mate.

Just read through the SS/Watch saga, oh Lord!!

OhWesternWind · 20/03/2013 09:10

Well, that was a right old night of it on here last night! Hope it's a calmer day today. And a happier one too for us all but especially for you Velvet. Thinking of you and hoping that that blooming C pulls his finger out and starts treating you like you want and deserve. I am losing patience with him on your behalf!

Kirsty those are very self-pitying texts, really, and he has behaved very badly. But (and I know other people might not agree with me) I think that depression and related conditions can lead some people towards self-destructive behaviour in many ways, including pushing people away and treating people badly, basically sabotaging their relationships (as well as work etc with Mr Cheeky) because at a basic level they don't think they deserve to have them. I'm not saying that everyone with depression does this, or that it's excusable, but that's what I think may be going on here.

Hop - just ask him if he's dating other people, if you're interested in knowing, which depends on if you're interested in seeing him again. The flat feeling, hmm, not great and if you've had it a few times with him then maybe he's not right for you.

Rose great news on how things are going with you. Please keep posting as and when, it's wonderful to hear how things are improving and your life is going so well. Smile

JulietteMontague · 20/03/2013 09:42

Hop I would ask him too. Right now you are kind of left waiting to see how he behaves. Also, if you ask him and he says no but your instincts/info says yes then you have a lucky escape.

MirandaWest · 20/03/2013 10:20

Hope all goes well Rose :)

Is wet here. Cycled into town to do mystery shops, wearing my waterproof trousers. Bike has now got puncture. Hope nice bike shop can sort it out for me before I need to go back.

At the worst of my depression I probably did hurt people, mostly XH. I honestly can't remember much of it as I couldn't actually manage to get out of bed. I think depression can excuse some things but is not a general get out of jail free card.

Was a bit annoyed at my lack of calling a spade a spade last night (or an SS a watch). Realised it was her on the other thread very early on Hmm.

When will it be spring?

Snapespeare · 20/03/2013 10:25

rose fab news! well done! looking forwards to hearing from you when things are a bit more settled.

don't even hint that the darkened room is a TARDIS. you wouldnt see me for dust!

JulietteMontague · 20/03/2013 10:31

Miranda well you're good, I just thought that OP was a bit erratic in approach, didn't realise at all. I wouldn't be annoyed with yourself, the only reason I posted on here last night was that I didn't say as much as I could have last time, wanting to avoid fanning the flames but then I ended up saying it anyway Hmm.

lulubellaboozle · 20/03/2013 10:31

well, in common with Velvet? apologies Velv if I've got it wrong ... I too am "waiting" and may have to POAS if nothing happens soon.

Hmmm, 3 days overdue, not that uncommon for me, but 2 split condoms last month ..... however I am 47, so the likelihood is very slim, but felt very nauseous last night and this morning, not sure if this is just the actual thought of it and phantom symptons but starting to just feel very slightly panicky eeeekkkk

OhWesternWind · 20/03/2013 10:40

Lulu - honestly, go and do it now (or at lunchtime). No point hanging round and hoping and it's only £3 from Tesco (says she as One Who Knows). Don't wait around getting stressed and anxious, just find out. It's a horrible minute whilst you wait but it's worth it to set your mind at rest. Hugs. And to Velvet too.

MirandaWest · 20/03/2013 10:46

Nice people at bike shop where I bought bike are sorting out the puncture for me :)

Now off to mystery shop a museum. Later on there's a bra shop :)

lulubellaboozle · 20/03/2013 10:46

I will go and get one, I've obviously gone to the wrong places in the past, £3 ? (bargain). I'm only slightly panicking as I know it is probably unlikely, but the split condom bit is praying just a little bit on my mind.

I just kept thinking, oh I'll start tomorrow, I won't waste my money on a test and ho hum here we are on day 3!

ike1 · 20/03/2013 10:49

Oh crikey...think Ill get a coil fitted...if there is ever any action ever again...