Dating chat thread 46

[lubeybooby]

all dating related chit chat here!

off we go

Hi Saturn - OKCupid (okc.com) is free, and while you get a few strange people you don't get as many oddballs as POF.

If you live in a big city there is Guardian Soulmate (is this free? Can't remember) - but there are fewer profiles on there.

Match also runs offers sometimes, 50% off or whatever. It's still pricey though, and you still get the morons. Probably not as many marrieds though.

The men on Match are more 'orthodox' IMHO, not so quirky. They've seen the ads they put their profile up, they are looking for the best their money can buy. I think the term here is 'entitled'

Now, this post will be followed by dozens, nay hundreds of you telling me how darling, quirky and absolutely unorthodox your lovely partner is and you met him on Match!

Of you go, prove me wrong, restore my faith in Bad Match...

FYI: I am famed for my typos, even when posting to correct my typos.

My friend uncovered this nutter when she was writing her blog: www.52firstdates.com/2012/11/sebastian-pritchard-jones-strikes-back.html

She met him on some site called Smooch, but he also had profiles on OK Cupid, Plenty of Fish, Match and Guardian Soulmates...

Case and point for being wary about who you speak to online...

Hi all
I'm so glad people getting money back when it's due. Its horrible having to wait.
I have been reading not writing. snape it's lovely to see your positive posts and I'm so pleased that tests have come back clear.
velvet I hope you can get the right results you want.

Well, I've been completely thrown off my balance after I had a meltdown at work last week, couldn't stop crying, felt something awful was going to happen and I couldn't really speak properly. I suppose it was coming, months of increasing pressure and covering people's jobs with a blame culture that was based upon fear. I managed to get to the GP who was worried but luckily I wasn't suicidal. She did some tests and said I am severely depressed -counselling - time off- think about SSri anti depressants.

So I'm now slowly getting myself back together. fireman has stuck around and he phones and texts me every day which I am so grateful for. I've been through a lot in my life but I think this has floored me.

Reading this thread helps though.

scatty lots of hugs to you! I know that feeling, you cope and cope and deal with so much shit and then it floors you! I find counselling an enormous help, currently deciding whether or not I am going to take the anxiety mess the doctor has prescribed and like you find this thread a hug support! So glad Fireman is being supportive, true colours show themselves in situations like this. Do post on here or pm if you want?

WFF met Mr EA on match, definitely got my money's worth, he is not 'entitled' but not unorthodox, a pretty regular, bloke who try's his best to understand complex and emotional me, who makes me laugh loads and who pushes all my buttons in the sack

Scatty if you are severely depressed and the GP thinks you would benefit from anti depressants please do take the tablets. I know it feels like a big thing, but there are more people on them that you'd think. You need a helping hand to climb out, within weeks you may feel a bit better.

Oops that should read anxiety meds not mess! But mess sort of sounds appropriate too!

scatty sending well wishes and the hug of a thousand hugs. i was on Citalopram for around 6 months a couple of years ago, they give you a breathing space in order to have a plan to rectify the things that are making you feel down. I'd always been against medication - I found it a great help, in a way it legitimised the way I was feeling and gave me an opportunity to start making small careful changes rather than constantly battling against everything and everyone in order to keep my head above water.

Lulubella can you tell Match is not working for me?

Here, especially for you

Oops.

Scatty similar to Snape, I took Citalopram and had CBT at the end of my marriage. It helped. If you need to take them, they saved my life. I was suicidal

Ciitalopram is what I've been prescribed, I'm guessing by the posts they are worth taking then?

scatty we are all here for you to use for support, don't forget that !

WFF I had my fair share of spuds and disappearers on Match too!

Citalopram are what I have been on for the last 4/5 weeks. They are enabling me to see the wood for the trees.

Give them a go Scatty and lulu

I took citalopram for a few years and towards the end had CBT. Had taken sertraline previous to that as well. Always thought I was long term depressive (suffered on and off from when I was 17 and had various bad times generally triggered by a specific thing but not always). The CBT taught me that I have anxiety which if I manage it is ok but if not my body eventually gives in and I become depressed. So my wiring is a bit wrong.

Depression is crap but it does get better. And a lot of people have been or are being treated for it.

Western - I told him that is. Why unusual to propose to someone that your not even in a relationship with. And spoke about a few things by text.

He also asked me if I would go to couples counselling with him? I asked if that was just to try to get us back together and he said he just thinks it would be positive for us and help us as parents etc. I said I would consider this.

I do feel there is unfinished business with us an even though we have been apart for about 2 1/2 years neither of us have managed to be in a proper relationship in that time. But I do not feel marriage us he answer for us and possibly counselling together would help us work through some things and come out able to move on separately! I'm not sure but I'm considering this.

Moving, why did you split up with him? Is it something which has changed now or is it the same as it was?

Thank you. it's so heartening to know you guys have been through this too. on Friday when I had the meltdown I was uncontrollably sad and frightened. I now feel very sad. I think I will give the medication a go as dont think I can pull myself up through will power alone, walking and talking to my friends. I've got a prescription I can unblock so tomorrow ill unblock it.

Me too, been there a few times as a teen and later on, during most of my marriage. I had efexor (after trying a few others that didn't really work so well) and my god, it was amazing. They really helped (take a little while to do so though) because they remove most of the depression symptoms and you can see a bit clearer again and feel stronger, I would say they get you halfway out of a deep hole, so you can at least see the light and know you are getting somewhere and can deal with the rest yourself.

I had them for about 6 months I think - came of gradually with GP support and also was having counselling then, never had to take them again.

I would take them again in a heartbeat though if I felt that familiar black dog arriving.

Scatty, many many hugs to you, I am so sorry to hear what you've been through. I have nothing of use to add to the wise words already given, so will just say that I'll be thinking of you, and I am really glad the fireman is being a support too.

WFF I met Cuthbert on Match....whether or not he is a good 'un still remains to be seen!

scatty hugs and great advice from everyone

I wandered over to the thread about being single. Not going there again, staying in the bosom safety of this thread where there is wit, wisdom and general fabulousness. And most of all understanding.

Oh dont worry ...Jules I have been wading into a thread about a philandering husband...rarely do it ...and I swear I will never again...

Juliette, I've been sticking my oar in over there too :) and been told I think too highly of myself and need to get more interests

At least it's not as bad (yet) as the thread where I got told to dress more conservatively and wear less makeup in order to attract the right sort of man...!

Ooooh where is it?? I am all worked up now ...

Velvet oh goodness yes I remember that one! The post I made did actually mock that attitude of getting interests as son on and sadly a couple of people took it seriously. The very fact that anyone could take what I said seriously was, in itself an indictment of some attitudes

Ike yes I saw the branding iron coming your way too on that thread.