Dating chat thread 46

[lubeybooby]

all dating related chit chat here!

off we go

Winefiend that did cross my mind too but I don't want to cross the line into blackmail although apparently it would be within the law as it's warranted and reasonable and not unwarranted

That is rubbish lubey :(

Lubey that really stinks! how cowardly, I agree with WFF, he knows he's a bastard

and his 55% of the promised amount was about 20% of what the whole sorry situation ended up costing me

just a thought but instead of getting angry with him, what about a text to say how disappointed you are that he hasn't responded, doesn't appear to going to honour his promise, that you thought he was a better man than that and it really is quite despicable to behave like that, you thought he would be someone who would keep a promise once it is made etc etc...... maybe, just maybe it might shame him into doing the right thing?

Lubey I would keep your evidence powder dry for now and think about how you may want to approach it. I can see how writing it off would appeal but I also think you may get really pissed off about it later down the line. If you decide to get him to pay up, perhaps send him a polite 'reminder' of your Skype conversation in case he has 'forgotten'. That would serve the dual purpose of an implicit threat clarifying any confusion and give him an out opportunity to do the right thing. Cunt.

By reminder I mean a screenshot/copy.

my last text was kinda like that lulu, plus explaining how much it cost me too with the lost work and physical toll it took.

and that got me an fb block, nice. I can still see him and all friends family and details from my work fb though... eejit.

Juliette letting him off would be a big thing for me to do because I'm in court on the 22nd for council tax (well I won't be because I can pay it before then in full, but only just!)

So yeah. The thought of making no further attempt to extract the remainder from his grubby tightarse hands is already majorly pissing me off.

But... I dunno. There's something that is really not 'me' about bothering any further with him. I'm so used to cutting assholes completely dead!

It's not about bothering with him, he is already toast. It's about the money.

I know, I just hate giving anyone the satisfaction of knowing they have driven me to bother myself about their stupid behaviour. I'd much rather always give off an air of 'and that day, not a single fuck was given'

This is different, the practical side is not personal it's just money. The rest, hell yes of course but you know you can always give the air of not giving a toss later It's whatever is best for you though

Lubey I'm sorry, what a complete and utter dick he's being

I agree the FB block thing was cowardly, I suspect because he's decided he can't/won't pay he thinks if he hides from you on FB you will back down and not chase him for it wankbadger.

My mum brought me up with the not engaging with assholes approach (when she split up with an Ex - before my dad - he ended up with her entire and extensive record collection because she refused to chase him to give it back...) I have written off money, possessions etc many times BUT I think there comes a point where you think No, I'm not standing for it. Especially as you do really need the money.

I know it feels uncomfortable but the thing is, he offered the sodding money in the first place apparently just to ease his conscience and without any intention of paying . He knows he needs to pay, hence hiding from you. Call his bluff, email him with a reminder of your conversation as Juliette says. Hopefully that will prick his conscience sufficiently to make him pay what he owes.

fair do's then Lubey you've tried the "I thought you were a decent man" approach and it didn't work. As Juliette says, it's about the money now, so a little reminder bloody big memory jog with a copy of the skype conversation would seem in order

at 'and that day, not a single fuck was given'

Lubey - delurking again ... I'd send this along with the messages where he agreed to pay up.

Message 1:
I see you blocked me on FB, which is understandable as you probably don?t want a constant reminder of the sad times that we went through together. Unfortunately I also have a worrying niggle that it signifies that you don?t intend to pay what you agreed to pay but I very much hope I?m wrong as I had thought you to be far more honourable than that.

We met for fun, we had a lot of fun and what happened to us was horrendous but I cannot erase the memory of what happened, nor the impact on my finances, by magically deleting those few weeks of my life at the press of a computer button. I hope that I have misunderstood you.

Message 2:
In the event of no reply to Message 1, I'd then send a repeat of Message 1 within a couple of days with this at the end but only if I were prepared to follow it through:

... I would not want to have to contact [small claims court/friends/parents/family - delete as appropriate] for the money - explaining the situation to them would just prolong the bad memories for all concerned.

hmm ok. I may go for the gentle reminder then with a sweet, delicate and breezy air of 'you're messing with the wrong bitch here dude' Rather than 'not a single fuck given' :o

Lawyer Velvet a promise to pay is still a contract? I know it may not be worth taking it to court but the fact that she could do may be enough.

Yes nothing to loose with that for openers Lubey. The fucker doesn't realise he is actually messing with an 'atrocious bunch of MN cunts' does he

Lubey-I'd imagine he thinks that if he ignores you you'll go away..e-mailing with a reminder of the conversation (do you have an actual recording, or e-mail exchange?) may also be taken as a subtle hint that you might show the evidence to other people?

BeforeAndAfter, thanks I really like that approach and message. I may send pretty much a carbon copy of it.

And yes velvet and all, you are right it is about the money now and not anything else. I had long decided I wasn't all that interested in him anymore.

mercury I have it all in writing from messages on skype.

B&A great post

I've just googled the small claims court and I'd be tempted (for Message 2) to download the form, complete a draft and send it along to him with the informational leaflets about the process to "give him a chance to comment so you get your facts right" before you start the tedious process of the claim. That should put the wind up him.

I also think the suggestion from B&A is very good, it sounds calm and in control with just the right hint of threat.

I'd imagine that having the skype conversation copied back to him a few times will make him think about how he'd feel if his friends & family read it

OK, I've emailed. And text to tell him he has mail.