I may be over reacting or be totally on the wrong track. I have a newborn baby and I'm tired so perhaps I'm not thinking clearly.
I've been with my partner for four years, we have a 1 year old and a newborn.
We have both been very snappy with each other lately, tired I guess, and resentful. I resent him for not being more caring and helpful over the last couple of weeks, for not being able to manage the children so I can sleep or bath. I resent that he is out four or more times a week, and he resents that I nag and moan at him for it. He can't see why I'm tired, and seems to think I do nothing all day, he thinks that because he works he has the monopoly on tiredness and deserves to unwind at the pub every other evening. He is moaning and pestering for sex. I'm breastfeeding and by the time I have got both babies to sleep of an evening all I want to do it tidy up, have a cuppa and go to bed. Not be mauled and groped. So in summery, things are not great at the moment.
My dilemma though is this:
A couple of months ago the ownership of our local changed. I haven't met any of the new staff but he has mentioned a few by name occassionally. He has mentioned a glass collector called Emma in passing (not her real name). The pub closes at 11-12am but he frequently doesn't get home until 2am. He either stays back for a drink, or spends time chatting with people outside the pub. We live a 3 minute walk from the pub.
He went out on Saturday night. We had arranged that he would stay at his parents so I wasn't disturbed when he came home drunk.
Last night I checked his phone. I don't have an excuse, I was being nosy.
There is a text sent to Emma at 1.30am, asking if she got home ok.
She replies saying Yes, and thanking him for tonight.
He says its no problem and he hopes it helped.
There are a few more texts along the same lines.
He had also called her before texting.
He hasn't stored her number in his phone, but has saved the messages. I know its her number as he says "Hi Em" in the first text.
I am wondering why he felt it was appropriate to exchange numbers with another woman (how old are glass collectors generally anyway!?), what he was doing until the early hours with another woman, whether he is always spending his time with her when he is out, and what exactly he helped her out with. And why he hasn't mentioned it to me.
If I ask him though, he will change the password on his phone and I won't have any clue what's going on.
Or am i being paranoid?