OWW, forgive me please I'm likely to meander off on this one... musing generally, not just about you and (L)M
I am of the opinion that if this relationship was as all should be, and had long term 'legs' then mooching around on dating sites wouldn't have entered either of your heads. Ever.
But, well... by all means see how it goes and if he really tries or not.
But then that brings me back to thinking 'really trying' isn't something either of you should have to be doing at this stage, that's meant to be years in the future when the shine is all gone. At least you should have trust and be in no doubt that you are loved... as a very very minimum acceptable.
I think the phrase working on a relationship gets misunderstood really, and too many women take it to mean putting up with all sorts of bollocks, bullshit, or generally treatment that is nowhere near how it should be. And it takes two to work on it as well. This is what was wrong with my exh, it was all me putting the effort in, he would maybe manage for a week or so then go back to twatness.
When anyone in a very long term happy relationship will tell you yes they work at it but it isn't ever hard work. They just mean making sure they communicate and get some alone time together, keeping up affection, remaining thoughtful, not endlessly angsting and struggling etc.
Ah I dunno. Am I doom monger or realistic? Too romantic? But then even BC who found all things emotional and to do with love quite hard to deal with and talk about, he would still do it and I was never in any doubt that he loved me.
I think any time I've clearly been with a person who is good for me they do nothing but enrich my life and it's just easy.
I could understand pussyfooting around about showing feelings etc when it's early days and both are worried about coming on too strong and all that, but when it's been so long and relationship territory has been confirmed, there's no reason to hold back and no sense in doing so either.