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Original poster

stupid question

61 replies

spiritedaway · 14/02/2013 11:19

If someone you were in love with said you were all over, you had made your choices when you had kids with that cunt (the ex). Said "you have made your mistakes because you couldn't keep your Fucking knickers on even though he was abusive to you. Now fuck off and live with it."Then the next day proposed marriage telling you that if you would give him the reassurance he needed through living together everything would be ok. . how would you feel?

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 14/02/2013 11:20

I'd tell him to take a hike. He sounds abusive. Run.

TallyGrenshall · 14/02/2013 11:21

I would be feeling the urge to get rid of him

Is he like this all the time?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/02/2013 11:22

You mean after I'd kicked him squarely in the nuts or before?..... Hmm He sounds like a manipulative, abusive shit and I'd be showing him to the exit.

izzyizin · 14/02/2013 11:24

I'd be feeling immensely relieved that he'd revealed himself to be an abusive twunt and I wouldn't have given him the opportunity to say anything further to me on the next or any subsequent days.

You're not by any chance entertaining this cunt's proposal, are you?

kalidanger · 14/02/2013 11:25

Hey OP! Pat yourself on the back for knowing this is utter bullshit Smile

CartedOff · 14/02/2013 11:27

I'd feel the urge to run away.

Because this guy is another abusive twat.

worldgonecrazy · 14/02/2013 11:28

I would say that in anger he showed his true colours, and this is likely to be a theme in any subsequent marriage. If you want to end up abused and browbeaten then marry the fucker. Otherwise run as fast as you can in the other direction. Singledom is not a dirty word.

Original poster
spiritedaway · 14/02/2013 11:29

He isn't always like this and never to my face. . text barage. It has happened about 4 times in a year, now he feels in limbo because i will make no commitment because of this pattern. i can see that makes him anxious and it builds up again. . Apparently he has always loved me, i am the only one. I actually split up with him nearly 10 years ago. . and "fucked off with the first man to wave his wallet at me."

OP posts:
badtime · 14/02/2013 11:32

He is an abusive sack of shit.

Stop making excuses for him. It won't get better, it will get worse.

Original poster
spiritedaway · 14/02/2013 11:32

i know you're all right. . I recognised this relationship needed to end. In fact i could raise a red flag over my house for Valentines, but when he dumped me why was i gutted? Why wasn't i relieved? WTF?

OP posts:
babyhammock · 14/02/2013 11:35

He sounds like a really nasty piece of work... You are seeing his real attitude towards women with those examples you gave..
Get rid of him

Original poster
spiritedaway · 14/02/2013 11:35

Not entertain proposal. .absolutely not.

OP posts:
foolonthehill · 14/02/2013 11:36

You were gutted because you wanted the fairy tale...same reason we married the first abusive ex.

But Hooray...you can get shot with the full weight and support of MN behind you, enjoy singledom and reclaim your life.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/02/2013 11:36

You were gutted because you've invested a lot of emotion in this. You would like him to be something he isn't. You may even think that if you behave differently and catch it right he might change for the better. Emotionally abusive, hot/cold, 'good cop/bad cop' types always keep you chasing after the carrot by showing you the stick. He isn't anxious. It isn't 'building up'... it's deliberate and it's nasty.

Walk or run away from this man. Dump him in words of one syllable. Drop contact completely. It'll be painful for a few weeks but, once you are out of his influence, you'll look back and wonder why you tolerated his crap for so long.

Original poster
spiritedaway · 14/02/2013 11:37

See. . the guy who i was with before was extremely abusive. . mental narcassist. . now when this current guy spouts his shit it is like water off a ducks back and i only recognise intellectually that it's wrong. I guess this is how women end up with a string of abusive partners.

OP posts:
badtime · 14/02/2013 11:39

You were gutted because you feel that it is somehow your fault that he was like this, and that you have failed. Or you were gutted because you like the 'nice' side of his personality, even though you know you you can't dealwith the 'nasty' side.

From your report of his comments, this isn't the first abusive relationship you have been in - perhaps you need to examine why this is, and maybe get some counselling for your self-esteem etc.

badtime · 14/02/2013 11:40

cross post

foolonthehill · 14/02/2013 11:40

yup...just ending up with someone who is a bit less abusive than the last one is NOT escaping abuse.

time for some personal work on you??
Or we can play FW bingo....how many VA, EA, PA attributes does yours have???

izzyizin · 14/02/2013 11:41

If you live with or marry this man he will continue to berate you for what he perceives as your failings and it won't be long before he becomes violent towards you - because you deserve it/he can't trust you.

He is one scewed up fucker and the thoughts he harbours about you are not ones that can be easily removed from his memory bank. no matter how much you may knock yourself out to give him the reassurance you seem to think he needs.

Original poster
spiritedaway · 14/02/2013 11:42

He loves me too much and he can't stand the thought that i gave my ex so much. He feels angry with the ex and he misdirects his anger at me. His line.

OP posts:
piprabbit · 14/02/2013 11:45

He wants to control every aspect of your life - even the bits that happened before you met him.
It's not going to get better with time.

Original poster
spiritedaway · 14/02/2013 11:45

ok. . what's FW bingo? I am chatting here and ignoring his Valentines speil texts x

OP posts:
akaemmafrost · 14/02/2013 11:47

He loves you to much?

The motto of the abuser. The usual whiny "I only act like this because I love you".

Dump, immediately. But be careful because I sense from your posts that this one won't go quietly.

LemonBreeland · 14/02/2013 11:48

He is just as abusive as your ex. It may be in a slightly different way, but abuse is abuse. If he loved you he wouldn't treat you like this.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 14/02/2013 11:50

Are You Dating An Abuser?

Some people are a little less obvious than others.....

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