stupid question

[spiritedaway]

If someone you were in love with said you were all over, you had made your choices when you had kids with that cunt (the ex). Said "you have made your mistakes because you couldn't keep your Fucking knickers on even though he was abusive to you. Now fuck off and live with it."Then the next day proposed marriage telling you that if you would give him the reassurance he needed through living together everything would be ok. . how would you feel?

Yeah. . I have a restraining order but the police don't count harassing family etc as indirect contact so i just have to keep my distance from them

I wouldn't even be friends with someone who spoke to me like that. Why would you pledge your life to someone who obviously doesn't respect you?

And sorry love but he doesn't love you too much, what a crock of shit excuse to abuse you???? If he loved you enough he wouldn't swear at you are call you horrid names.

You know what. . Because the ex has started on everyone. . Friends, family. . My bf is the only actual person in my life. Maybe i feel i will go crazy. . Just me and the 4 kids, and how great would that be. :-\

Why do you have to keep your distance from friends and family? Are they taking your ex's side? Would they consider restraining orders or could you go back to your lawyer with a view to changing the order to include your family?

The order includes one family member. . They have seen how far he pushes it, how many hours i have spent with the police, his hacking means he has bits of shit
on everyone and Tbh the easiest way from them is to stay the Hell away from me and the kids. .yes, i know that's his aim. My bf has stood by me and i did actually need that even tho i recognise i shouldn't have.

Firstly, he has NO RIGHT to criticise or analyse or judge how you handled your psycho ex. Secondly, the only reason he is doing this is because he is ANOTHER psycho boyfriend and wants to stop you having the confidence and strength to dump his sorry abusive arse.
I am sad also that you see yourself as being 'on your own' with 4 kids- don't your children deserve a life without another arsehole male in their mother's life?

The order includes one family member. . They have seen how far he pushes it, how many hours i have spent with the police, his hacking means he has bits of shit
on everyone and Tbh the easiest way from them is to stay the Hell away from me and the kids. .yes, i know that's his aim. My bf has stood by me and i did actually need that even tho i recognise i shouldn't have.

Dump him. Now.

I used to have an abusive ex, I think now that I stayed with him because I didn't think I could get any better...but thats because he made me feel that way, systematically broke me mentally and sometimes physically. That guy sounds the same, abusing any exes I had, that I showed my knickers to anybody, yada yada yada. Woman hater, mysoginist.

It took courage but I broke it off...and I have now been married to the most loveliest guy on the planet for 21 years, never insults me and won't lay a finger on me. We love each other so much and look out for each other. Its a normal marriage.

Your relationship is not normal. Do yourself and your children a favour and finish it

ANother good reason for looking into the Freedom Programme is that you will meet other women with similar experiences and you will be able to support each other.

I think that the way that you feel when you're in this situation is very different from the way you'd imagine you'd feel. It's very difficult and confusing.

I really second the freedom programme, and going no contact with this guy - he sounds about as good for you as a hole in the head.