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Original poster

DH is sulking because I don't fancy sex tonight...

150 replies

AuntLucyInPeru · 09/02/2013 20:11

We basically had a crap day in the cold wrestling with the kids, followed (at the end of the day) by tea and Nanny McPhee.

He mentioned sex earlier and I said "prob not, I just can't feel sexy after a day of arguing with a 2yr old and 5yr old all day".

So he brings it up again just now by asking me to go and have a bath, and I said 'no thanks, I know the subtext, just don't fancy sex tonight'. So now he's throwing washing up around the kitchen furiously in a noisy fury.

Being able to say no to sex when you just don't want to is just how it bloody IS surely?

We have sex 1-2 times per week, work a 60hr week (both of us) and have children aged 2 & 5.

BTW He only wants sex if we both shower, I put new full make-up on and sexy underwear, high heels, scent etc.

I just can't be bothered tonight.

How do I handle the big strop Hmm ?

OP posts:
spiritedaway · 09/02/2013 20:47

I imagine she's doing most of the work during the 2 hours

Floralnomad · 09/02/2013 20:47

TBH your OH sounds harder work than the kids !

GoodtoBetter · 09/02/2013 20:48

Dear God, I couldn't live like that....

CocktailQueen · 09/02/2013 20:48

wow, how seriously weird. Agree that that is not behaviour guaranteed to make you want sex!! My dh does that too and it drives me insane. BUT at least he will take mas I am and I don't have to do dressing up - eveyr time?? What happens is you want sex when you're not fresh and clean and dressed up??

2kidsintow · 09/02/2013 20:48

My friend and her DH prefer to have both showered to have sex, but that's a mutual thing (I found out after somewhat of a TMI chat one day).

I'd not mind if the 'go and have a bath' was phrased in the "why don't you go and have a relaxing soak after a stressful day" manner, but less so if it was "go and have a bath, you need one ready for later!"

My own DH might sulk if refused, but only in a tutting quiet way, that is easily ignored.

And he likes me best when I'm hot and sweaty after my exercise class. It would be the last thing on his mind to suggest any form of preparation. Grin

gingerchick · 09/02/2013 20:48

He's the one with problems not you

AThingInYourLife · 09/02/2013 20:49

An hour for sex?

Always the same?

I'm a big fan of the quickie.

Luckily DH can usually oblige Wink

Lueji · 09/02/2013 20:49

ups, crossed posts.

And then a big, exhausting heart-to-heart tomorrow about 'why I have libido problems'

That is exhausting, I'm sure, and a huge red flag, because it's about the problem with you.
What about his issues???? His strops. His excessive requirements? His putting the blame on you?

Original poster
AuntLucyInPeru · 09/02/2013 20:49

No no, he's a great lover. When we shag, it's genuinely fab. Def the best I've had in 20 years of shagging. I JUST DON'T BLOODY WANT TO TONIGHT!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 09/02/2013 20:49

'It will be a sulk for the rest of the evening . But I try hard not to give in as it sets a pattern (feels like I'm training a 2yr old in not snatching..)

And then a big, exhausting heart-to-heart tomorrow about 'why I have libido problems'

For those of you wondering about the 2 hours - 30 mins each in the bathroom/ bedroom. Then an hour for sex. Never less.'

This person is not nice.

An hour for sex? Gawd, I'd fall asleep.

GoodtoBetter · 09/02/2013 20:49

An hour for sex??? What are you doing for an HOUR?

Lueji · 09/02/2013 20:51

I think you are being driven by lust, really.

The entitlement alone would be was a deal breaker for me.

expatinscotland · 09/02/2013 20:51

'No no, he's a great lover. When we shag, it's genuinely fab. Def the best I've had in 20 years of shagging. '

I pity you. Because in my 26 years of shagging, the best were the spontaneous, dirty romps.

ledkr · 09/02/2013 20:51

2 kids yes dh seems oddly turned on when I'm back from the gym. Perv Grin

TomDudgeon · 09/02/2013 20:51

I love the idea of doing all the prep and then still turning him down
He sounds like a tosser

Ingles2 · 09/02/2013 20:51

Pmsl at the need for a snack break...
I've got a sulker and nothing makes me dislike him more, so the idea of a sulk for sex that involves preparation (shudders) grim!

AThingInYourLife · 09/02/2013 20:52

Agree, expat, this is not a nice man.

Original poster
AuntLucyInPeru · 09/02/2013 20:53

Interesting. Have just gone into our bedroom and he's in bed FAST ASLEEP. I wonder if he's just had an 'age 38 and a half year old over-tired and emotional' tantrums. It has been a long week at work ...

OP posts:
Flobbadobs · 09/02/2013 20:54

Tellhim to put on sexy undies and high heels if he likes it that much! Honestly and seriously OP if he thinks you have libido problems because you don't rush off and tart yourself up when he commands it he's the one with the problem, not you.
The best shag in the world is not worth being blackmailed.

AnyFucker · 09/02/2013 20:54

He sounds like he has issues. Yuk.

mcmooncup · 09/02/2013 20:55

He then manipulates you into thinking you have libido problems??

Wow, as above, he has ishoooooos

littlemisssarcastic · 09/02/2013 20:55

Are you tired a lot of the time OP?

I feel tired thinking about your preparations, let alone the actual sex.

Afterwards, does he just go to sleep while you furiously scrub all of your make up off and have a tidy?

gingerchick · 09/02/2013 20:56

Controlling and manipulative behaviour from your husband OP he sounds like an arse hole

mcmooncup · 09/02/2013 20:57

It may be too much to disclose, but can we assume that there are very specific demands during the 1 hour of sex? i.e. he has things that you must do for him in order for it to be a 'success'

SorryMyLollipop · 09/02/2013 20:58

Lockets - "Two hours would be too much for me, I would need a snack break at the very least." snort Grin Grin

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