midday,i think if anyone had a drop of contact from constant, he was texting me at 6am! to almost nothing, you would notice. You cant not. I just said it was obvious and to leave it. because it was obvious and im not waiting around like a muppet. If he had been less full on from the start, i wouldnt have been bothered and all would be well. I have done casual before, i know how it works.
i wont re evalute wanting fireworks and spark. Im sorry. I cant be with someone to who im just ' meh'. Ive given it a go, its always obvious in their behaviour that they can take you or leave you and that they dont really care all that much. I dont want that just for the sake of being with somone. Ive also had plenty of dates where there was a tiny spark and i would have seen them again to give it a chance, but they just vanish. Equally i dont want to be with someone who i dont feel anything for, i cant see the point in that at all.
A massive spark for me is really rare, maybe 4 times in my life. Its exciting when it happens, of course.
YWK is a complicated thing, its been 4 years... it was a very emotional connection, hes a very clever man.... Ive not actually seen him for years. Ive said no, or say yes then change my mind almost immediatley after, so actually, no, i dont think my radar is off, else id be trotting off to see him. I just find it quite hard when hes crying at me saying he just wants to see me, to say fuck off you arsehole. hes been blocked and not spoken to for many many many months before. in fact, the last 2 years ive not spoken to him more than i have spoken to him.
I am also not needy nor vunerable, i am probably too much the other way, which i dont think helps at all. Look, i once dumped someone casual for bringing an overnight bag to my house. Not the behaviour of someone needy at all.
All thats happened here is i got played. Its not my fault. We all get played at somepoint and arent immune to it.