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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Welcome to The Dating Thread. Number 40.

999 replies

JulietteMontague · 08/02/2013 17:39

The next chapter...

OP posts:
ike1 · 10/02/2013 03:16

The Stranglers

VoiceofUnreason · 10/02/2013 03:18

Now you're talking!! Good choice ike

ike1 · 10/02/2013 03:21

Yeah love those mohawks!!!

VoiceofUnreason · 10/02/2013 03:22

Never suited me, my face is the wrong shape!

ike1 · 10/02/2013 03:24

Peaches 1978 ,,,hmmm wont be botherin with the waxin ...hey you gettin the way it goes chez Ike on a Sat/Sun????

ike1 · 10/02/2013 03:27

try Nice n Seazy....x

ike1 · 10/02/2013 03:30

Anyway I love a trip memory lane...at this time of night...thanks for being around. x

ike1 · 10/02/2013 03:34

My ex wanted to be Jean Jaques Burnel...yeah riight!!!

ike1 · 10/02/2013 03:41

Night my darlinks..xxx

VoiceofUnreason · 10/02/2013 03:42

Yes, I've got your measure. Night!

ike1 · 10/02/2013 03:46

I am gonna be the last person on here NIGHT!!!

ike1 · 10/02/2013 04:03

For all you sisters and brothers out there I am bringing you LADYTRON....x see you 11:30 am ish xxx

ike1 · 10/02/2013 05:03

....and as i go to sleep I am playing The Foo Fighters One Of These Days and thinking of my ex Husband love the lyrics says it all.

watchoutforthatsnail · 10/02/2013 07:07

Mrs c, i dont care if he knows hes blocked. I deleted all his messages so cant block until i get a new one. Also, because hes local his face appears all the fucking time.

Lubes, ive blocked all communication channels. He cant reach me now.

And yes, ive told him but he doesnt listen.He does his own thing.

Snapespeare · 10/02/2013 07:34

I cut my hair into a 'fat' Mohawk a la annabella lu win of 'bow wow wow' when I was 16. :-) it then saw every shade of hair dye imaginable. I was also chatted up by nick oliveri at a QOTSA aftershow, but gracefully declined. Wink nice texts from nameless last night. he was playing vinyl, I negotiated a kiss for each record he owns. he then sent me a photo of a WALL of records. I am going to send him photos of my book cases today & suggest a kiss for each book I own. this is nice.

right watch tough-talk-time. if ykw knows you so well, then he'll know he's freaking you out by his actions..but continues to do it...in which case he isnt your friend, he's selfish...he's prioritising what he wants waaaaaay above any consideration of what you might need...Angry

...or he doesnt know you that well after all. Angry

dont delete any further messages. keep in case you need them. you dont need to read them, divert them to a folder. dont respond. if you do suspect he is in the middle of a mental health crisis, then protect yourself & DD. you may need to go to the police if this continues & might then get the message/get some professional help if he is in crisis. are messages threatening? accusatory or self pitying?

& if this is your decision point then FFS make it your decision point & DECIDE! no drifting back in 6 months. move on. moving on is fucking fantastic.

(said with a hug & an early morning Brew)

Snapespeare · 10/02/2013 07:37

& Shock Grin at voice & ike

Snapespeare · 10/02/2013 08:01

watch sorry, another thought occurs..blocking his methods of contact could lead to more extreme behaviour. I would certainly talk to security at work.

watchoutforthatsnail · 10/02/2013 08:01

Ive blocked everything, so he cant message me. So i cant save anything. He doesnt know where i live, only work. If i have a word with security it will be fine.

And no, hes just lost it. He was picking apart my stupid okc answers as they were wrong in relation to 'us' . Reminding him there was no ' us' didnt go down so well. Nor the fact that ive hardly spoken to him in months and months.

He was just spewing shit and i kept telling him to stop it, but he didnt. Crap about how he needs me and i complete him blah blah blah.

And you are right,if he knew me he would stop it. But he didnt..so doesnt.

He said he was going for a nap. I just blocked everything, downloaded a text blocker too for my phone :).

Its done.

Sounds lovely with nameless btw.

watchoutforthatsnail · 10/02/2013 08:10

Honestly at one point he was whats apping me, sending texts.....when a email on okc... then i logged onto pof and his fucking face came up as he tried to im me on there!!

Too much.

The man is desperate not to be alone. Some other poor girl ( and it will be girl, he has his age range at 24. Hes 36) can deal with him. However since he put on his profile that hes more than a bit weird, not sociable or friendly, set in his ways and spends too much time on his own... might be harder than he thinks.

Snapespeare · 10/02/2013 08:16

dont wish to worry you, but wouldnt put it past him to turn up at your work. from what you have said, strikes me he is used to getting his own way & part of your attraction is you calling him on his behaviour...it's like a mental sub Dom relationship where he gets someone smart & feisty telling him off. he gets off on it. you're a challenge & he's one of these blokes who is used to 'winning' your rejection heightens the challenge. if he ever got in your knickers I think he would lose interest almost immediately.

oh and fuck him for asking if you plan to lose weight!

Brew
VelvetSpoon · 10/02/2013 08:20

Snape I remember being about 11 and thinking Annabella Lwin was the coolest person in the ENTIRE world Grin wonder whatever happened to her....

Stuff with Nameless sounds fab. And you're seeing him tomorrow! How lovely.

Watch, I can't add anything to everyone else's advice. I hope you're ok. I think ykw is either having a proper crisis (in which case yes, please make sure you protect yourself) OR he is just being the total narcissist he has always been and still thinks he can behave however he likes and it doesn't matter. Hopefully this will be the end of it though.

Flipper hope you're doing ok. You too Lubey

And Ike I really hope the hangover is not too bad :)

I have decided (in my boss's management speak) to 'park' the FB thing with Cuthbert for now, he text me last night about something else - before I had a chance to text him with my email address - so it didn't easily flow from my reply. I have decided I will ask about it though. Ages ago (back on date 2 in November!) he said something about how I should find him on FB....so I think maybe I should mention it as he did raise it a while ago. We'll see, no rush.

watchoutforthatsnail · 10/02/2013 08:27

I know , i was furious!!!!!
He said he just wanted me to be healthy. I said i was but have a medical coDITion......he then told me he would read up and make a plan for me. Er, no. I told him to fuck off.

Hes used to getting his own way. Yes.
And to people being in awe. Becsuse he boasts. His dating profiles are the boastiest thing ive ever seen. Tries to cover up for not being nice.

I dont even care what my attraction is, its not even 'me' its just this thing he has made in his head ( which is why i wanted to meet him two weeks ago or whenever, so he could see thats not me)

But hes just overstepped the mark.so massivley it would be a terrible judgement on my behalf.

watchoutforthatsnail · 10/02/2013 08:28

He might be having a proper crisis,.its not my issue.

Good call on cuthbert :)

VelvetSpoon · 10/02/2013 08:40

Thanks Watch I thought it was too :)

I've been thinking and every relationship I've had (thats lasted beyond a couple of weeks) has been dived into completely headfirst, spending loads of time together from day 1 almost, declarations of love etc. Within 6 weeks of meeting the Evil Ex I was pregnant with DS2 (albeit accidentally)...

I've realised it doesnt have to be like that, that its ok to be just dating, the fact that he's not my 'boyfriend' (eek, seems wrong to use that word at my age!) and that we're not 'in a relationship' well, it's perfectly ok that we're not at that stage yet. We might get there, we might not - but the fact we're not there yet doesn't mean we won't (hopefully that makes sense - it does to me!).

So I'm going to try and go with the flow more, and worry less about what I think I should be doing, based on disastrous past experiences.

Agree totally ykws problems are not your issue. Hope he backs off now and doesn't make a further nuisance of himself.

watchoutforthatsnail · 10/02/2013 08:57

velv, its ok to be doing whatever it is you want to be doing. there isnt a right or a wrong. its all good.

ywk cant make a nuisance, he cant contact me :)

Ive pretty much just dumped the goat too.....

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