Valentines day?

[Londonmummy2012]

Hi. What does everyone have planned for valentines day? I have a 7 month old daughter so love has gone straight out the window, so I really should do something.

As a lone parent, no plans whatsoever! Think I may have to get out my 'little black book' and whistle up some company.

We usually do a nice meal at home, bottle of wine and watch a film or something. This year we're visiting the IL's fairly soon after Valentine's Day and I think we're just going to wait and go out for a meal or to the cinema while we're there (they'll watch the kids for us)

I have never bothered with it. If the only time I get taken out to dinner, bought flowers and chocolate (or cheese, which is nicer), told I look beautiful and I'm loved is on February 14th of every year, he's not worth having as a DP. I want that sort of treatment because he feels like doing it, not because a commercially driven event has reminded him to do so.

My DP will give me a card and flowers.

I will smile sweetly and thank him whilst all the time thinking what a load of over commercialised crap it is

Then I will raise a glass to my darling dad who died 15 months ago as it would have been his 76th birthday

I am terrfied of getting something from ex who got me a birthday present, xmas present but nothing from me in a bid to express that I don't want to get back together which is frustrating. God what to do to drive the msg home? I think I will not accept this time. So that is my valentines sorted:refusing present from ex!

My DD 5yo wants to have a party! Its a celebration for us all she says.
P and I split over Xmas.
I'll buy the DD's some flowers & myself a bottle of nice red.

we give each other cards, and will get a takeaway after dd is in bed. nothing huge tbh, we don't really do valentines, but it is a good excuse for a takeaway

Take DC to a few One Billion Rising Events during the day around the city. Get DH a card and prob a takeaway or nice steak in at home in the evening

Oh year - OneBillionRising!!!!! I'll be championing that though I will be at work all day so won't get to a meet up.

Not sure what's appropriate this year? DH had an affair, and we are trying to sort things out, feel that I should buy him a card but feel nauseous when I stand in front of the cards in the shop. Can anybody empathise?

So sorry to hear that aftereight....I can empathise totally (whilst I was pregnant...bless him)

For what it's worth I would never buy a card just because I felt I 'should'. In your situation I just don't think I could. But that's just me....different folks do different things.

On Valentines day I will be going to the podiatrist to get my toenails cut

sorry to hear that aftereight

I feel disinterested in VD but unemotional about it - which is great. It must be extra tough in your situation.

I've found the OneBillionRising movement a good focus for the day - have you looked into that at all? Apart from being an amazing movement, it may help you to have a more important feeling different slant to the day.

Also aftereight why not listen to your body? It's sending you a very clear signal.

After eight: you don't have to buy your H a card. There's no should about it. Do what feels right for you at this time, not what you think you should do.

I've bought some chocolate for DH (maybe he'll offer to share it, but this is by no means certain). Other than that, I've no plans.

Thanks everyone, you're right. PartTimeModel yes, there's my decision made! Stupidly, I'm worried that the children will notice the lack of card. That's not important, is it..

LondonMummy sorry didn't want to hijack your thread.. maybe you could go down the low key card and a takeaway route? Or an IOU for a night out, when the naff valentines menus in restaurants are gone?

I don't do valentines day, never had, never will. Thankfully my hubby feels the same!

Just googled OneBillionRising, thankyou, I was unaware. What a fantastic and worthwhile movement

The kids won't notice the lack of card or care.

It's the least interesting 'festival' of the year to me as I do not engage in couple-relationships.

However, the special offers on wine and chocolate, particularly the day after, or at about 5pm on the day itself, are not unappealing.

Though not so this year as I will be recovering from having a chunk carved off one tit (that's a sicky face BTW)

Hope it all goes ok SGB.

aftereight try telling your DH that Valentine's Day is too much of a trigger for you and that won't be getting him anything, but that he should do what he thinks is right. Then see if he uses it as an occasion for healing (which might mean he decides to 'cancel' it with you, or mark the occasion anyhow as a sign of his commitment; the indicator being not the gesture or absence of gesture, but how much thought/effort he puts into recognising your conflict and thinking about how to support you through it).

Meditrina very good advice, thanks. I know he has already bought me a card and a small present, and although he means well, it makes my lack of reciprocation seem, well, mean (am aware how nuts that sounds in the circumstances!).

SGB best of luck, be sure to stock up on lots of that discounted chocolate, for purely medicinal purposes of course