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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Text recieved: You're wasting your time with someone who wont commit.

68 replies

fairyfly · 25/04/2006 19:27

Well, i kind of saw that one coming, obviously needed it spelling out to me.

Still doesn't stop it hurting like hell though, but i'm sure it won't take long. Well practiced at this broken heart shite.

I know i should have ended it myself ages ago, i was just putting off grieving him.

OP posts:
spacecadet · 25/04/2006 19:28

fairyfly, did he send you the text?

expatinscotland · 25/04/2006 19:29

so what are you going to do now?

Original poster
fairyfly · 25/04/2006 19:29

Yes he did, ending in, it's best over.

Picked a really shit day for it too, not that theres a good one.

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyfly · 25/04/2006 19:30

What am i going to do? I'm going to cry all night. Wake up go to college, work my arse off and not look at another man again for as long as i live.

OP posts:
spacecadet · 25/04/2006 19:30

oh FF, im so sorry, what a complete coward ending it by text, the lily livered git.

Original poster
fairyfly · 25/04/2006 19:31

He's been ignoring me for days and days, i sent him a text saying just get it over and done with.

OP posts:
sunchowder · 25/04/2006 19:32

Oh shit....sorry FF.

spacecadet · 25/04/2006 19:33

there are some good ones out there, but as they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince, i cant beleive the spineless way he did it thoughAngry

spacecadet · 25/04/2006 19:33

if i knew him in real life id go and stuff itching powder in his pants, then ring him up saying youve got an std.

Janh · 25/04/2006 19:34

Oh, FF SadAngry

How the hell did that happen?

Stupid man.

XXX

Original poster
fairyfly · 25/04/2006 19:36

I don't know Janh, he's not even a tw@t, i don't even want to slag him off, i'm just too much for him.

OP posts:
LadyTophamHatt · 25/04/2006 19:40

Oh FFSad

Will it really be over FF?
I know you've split up a few times before, so would this really be the end?

I hope you'll grow old and grey together and this is just a hic-cup (ok a major hic-cup but....)

beetroot · 25/04/2006 19:46

he has said all along that he does not want to commit..in one way or another...sad really as you both seemed so happy

Original poster
fairyfly · 25/04/2006 19:47

Lady, he has never said it's over, he has never said this is it. Just i'm confused or i don't know what i want.

I have been living in rose tinted glasses and in complete denial, hoping in some romantic notion that it was just panic and he would come round.

I cant keep thinking fairytales, it's there in Black and White, he wont commit.

I miss him already, i've lost my babe.

OP posts:
threelittlebabies · 25/04/2006 19:47

Really sorry fairyfly.Sad Please come out on Friday, maybe take your mind off things? (stupid thing to say I know but we can get drunk)

spacecadet · 25/04/2006 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Janh · 25/04/2006 19:49

you did go round this way once before, didn't you - and then DS2 was ill and you both thought maybe it would work out after all? As beety says you seemed so happy - maybe it'll come right again. Hope so.

Can't be doing with commitment-phobes. DD2 has a friend whose dad is one of those and it has meesed up her life and her mother's and they are all such nice people (him included).

Janh · 25/04/2006 19:50

meesed = messed, obv Blush

Original poster
fairyfly · 25/04/2006 20:06

The way he acts and what he says are two worlds apart.

It is a huge headf"ck. One minute gving the kids piggy backs and telling me he never wants to loose me and then being adamant he won't commit.

No he hasn't been hurt in the past, well yes,but when he was 21 and by me, it's complicated.

I think he is just and independant loner deep down, but then why does he fit in so well with my family.
I cant even analise it, i'm clueless. Clueless and gutted.

I haven't got a babysitter 3lb, otherwise i would,
staying away from my usual places for a while.

OP posts:
spacecadet · 25/04/2006 20:11

right ok.
has he ended it because ypouve pushed for more commitment?

Original poster
fairyfly · 25/04/2006 20:23

Well he has closed off and wont explain himself.

This time last week he said he was going to get readybeds in his house so the boys could stay over more often.

We had a row, just a silly one, not completely over the top, normal couple disagreement.

This was a week ago, he has thrown me away since and from what i can see spent the last week realising he can't handle being part of a couple.

I have been keeping my distance, asking whats going on now and again by text and being ignored, Today i went to my mates grave ( it's the anniversary of her death). I though lifes too short, enough is enough and asked for him to tell me if we were over.

OP posts:
spacecadet · 25/04/2006 22:16

sounds like he has a lot going on in his head tbh, but like you say, lifes too short, can you wait for him to sort himself out, trouble is, you have to think of your dc's too.
it sounds like he is scared of commitment possibly because hes ultimately afraid of rejection.

Original poster
fairyfly · 25/04/2006 22:36

Just had fabulous chats with people that know him, my heads a bit more sorted.

My boys will be fine, it was worrying me from their perspective but to be honest they just want their mother to be chilled and thats about it.

OP posts:
motherinferior · 25/04/2006 22:38

FF! I'm so sorry, I've only just seen this!

Oh honey.

I went out with a bloke for several years who was quite similar. It hurt like hell.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

spacecadet · 25/04/2006 22:39

glad you have managed to talk to people that know him, what conclusions have they come to?