Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating chat thread still going! Number 39

999 replies

lubeybooby · 02/02/2013 12:26

Here we are all

Dating related chit chat here

OP posts:
Snapespeare · 06/02/2013 19:01

Nameless pic back on profile for an hour or two for ogling purposes

It is bothering me. I think I'll see how it goes on Friday. Thinking of Friday as a getting-to-know-you-better-past-relationships type date. That's when one discusses past romances, yes?

mercury7 · 06/02/2013 19:03

can you wait a bit longer Snape, give yourself a bit more time to get to know his temperament and get to feel more comfortable with him?

48howdidthathappen · 06/02/2013 19:03

I think I have a tooth abcess brewing. Swelling and tender lower jaw bone. Never had one before, does it sound like one?

My car broke down yesterday. Stranded for 2.5 hours.

Ever feel like someone has it in for you.

Snapespeare · 06/02/2013 19:04

Argh! Don't know what to DO!!!!!

Think I'll go and watch David Attenborough for a bit.

watchoutforthatsnail · 06/02/2013 19:06

oh, hes cute. Goat boy is a lot more hairy... proper beard going on. I think, dont think what will or wont happen on date 3. go with an open mind... you dont have to talk about anything and date 3 isnt this magical date where it becomes something, you dont have to talk past romances, i would never, esp not agter 3 dates... its still only been a few hours in each others company at this point..... i would just leave it for now.

If it looks like things are heating up, can you not bring it up then. not when its got too far, as in below the belts... but when its looking very likely.

48howdidthathappen · 06/02/2013 19:06

Oh I like him Snape

Snapespeare · 06/02/2013 19:07

Right. Sound advice watch. That was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. Thanks

lubeybooby · 06/02/2013 19:08

Snape is it really absolutely essential to talk about it first? I mean in the early days everyone is using condoms anyway, isn't it only really an issue in a longer term relationship where condoms would be ditched?

OP posts:
Flipper924 · 06/02/2013 19:09

Snape, could you then hold off getting that intimate for a few more dates, until you know him better? Remember what they used to tell us in school, if he respects you, he'll wait till you're ready Grin If nothing else, it helps build the tension. If not, then I guess it would want it to be as soon as clothes start getting undone, so when it's obvious that things are getting warmer, but before they get too heated? Or do you think it would be better to do it in a moles intimate moment, so that he can absorb the information? I can only try to imagine how difficult it is for you.

I must be too old, Watch. If someone sent me a picture like that, it would be the last thing I ever saw of them!

Thanks for kind wishes, am feeling more pragmatic about it all today. What will be, will be, etc. If nothing else, I've learned that I'm still fertile, and I'll be no better or worse off than I was 3 weeks ago, before I took that test. Well, I'll have lost a few weeks of dating experiences, but I'll cope with that.

KinNora · 06/02/2013 19:10

It must be a very difficult situation to deal with, Snape, if he's easy to talk to and empathetic, and everything you say about him suggests that he is, then hopefully he will be understanding and react like R&R did with 48 ( incidentally the more I hear about R&R, the more fantastic he sounds).

Snapespeare · 06/02/2013 19:11

There's still a slight risk even with condoms... About 1% over a year and I can't put someone I might like at even 1% risk. It has to be their choice once in full possession of the facts.

I really really really want to have sex with him but not so much that I'd remove someone's choice about their health.

Sodding integrity. It's a bastard.

KinNora · 06/02/2013 19:14

48 - any throbbing ?

lubeybooby · 06/02/2013 19:14

But isn't that only if you were to do it during an active breakout, with condoms? and the 1% being condoms used incorrectly that break resulting in contact with the virus?

An ex of mine had herpes and he only told me when we got to ditch the condoms stage. He said we couldn't do anything during a breakout - I was cool with it. Never had any problem, surely the risk can't be that massively high, with no current breakout AND condoms as well?

OP posts:
Flipper924 · 06/02/2013 19:15

48, you have my sympathy. And someone else has a bad tooth, don't they? Toothache is the worst pain in the world. Next week will be better, chicken.

I have to believe this, today I dropped my iPhone in the stairwell of the carpark at work, and it fell three flights of stairs. However, only a small crack on the screen and a bit of damage to the LCD that you can't even see when it's on!

lubeybooby · 06/02/2013 19:18

It's just got me wondering as there was a lady posting I think in health about herpes, and got a reply from a long time married woman who has never passed the virus to her husband despite obviously mucho uncondomed sex. Fair enough he is taking an informed risk, but surely if they can go bare for an entire lengthy marriage and not pass it on, the risks must have been overcooked somewhere along the line.

Don't get me wrong , I massively admire your integrity it just got me wondering that's all after reading that.

OP posts:
watchoutforthatsnail · 06/02/2013 19:19

flipper, no, i love it :) its hysterical, its made me laugh all
day. I asked for it, several times, even if it was a few days ago. Besides, this is lighthearted, im going for as much fun, as much laughter and as much uninhibited shagging as possible. There is no point holding back.
:)

snape, indeed. dont worry about it at this point. I know you will, but try not to. If the issue comes up as it were.... then yes, speak about it then. but if you want to have a few more dates first, then do that too. essentially, there are no rules, dont worry and just go with what feels right.

Snapespeare · 06/02/2013 19:20

It's to do with viral shedding (nice! Hmm) obv condoms help, as does lube (less friction/irritation) but there is a tiny risk of contagion at the pre-blister stage before it is evident there's a break-out.

That said, the LTR after kids-dad-what-gave-me-herpes, didn't get it, we were together for aroubd six years... The prof is blister-free to my knowledge, I'm sure it would be fine, I know what I'm doing Wink & it's not all PIV...

48howdidthathappen · 06/02/2013 19:20

Kin No throbbing, only hurts if I apply pressure.

Thanks. Mr R&R is bloody brill.

lubeybooby · 06/02/2013 19:23

Flipper how are you feeling?

All my symptoms have gone again - boobs have calmed down, nausea only noticeable with really strong smells rather than the faintest whiff, could tolerate coffee today.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 06/02/2013 19:25

Snape ok I see.

Well like I say I massively admire your integrity. And I'm sure anyone with a decent amount of intelligence would. And not freak out, especially if you explain it as you have to me.

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 06/02/2013 19:26

Watch glad goat boy is keeping you entertained! :)

I'm not getting excited about Fri yet, it's that pride comes before a fall thing - I always have the nagging fear he will cancel etc, not helped by the fact I have heard sod all from him since Saturday. The more I think about how much I like him, the worse the fear is. Stupid me!

watchoutforthatsnail · 06/02/2013 19:31

velv, really, nothing since sat? can you not just text him? or call? does he know you have been ill?

goat more is really entertaining. hes just fun. The whole thing is just hysterical fun. I figure i had a very serious and stress filled last 5 months, something that has been crying with laughter several times a day just cant be a bad thing in any way. And if it lasts 2 weeks, then it lasts 2 weeks. Its fine, you know.

watchoutforthatsnail · 06/02/2013 19:34

wow. so many typos in that!

KinNora · 06/02/2013 19:36

I do know, 48, that the pain is pretty extreme with a dental abscess so I'd be tempted to see the dentist before the pain gets any worse.

VelvetSpoon · 06/02/2013 19:37

Cuthbert text me Saturday eve to suggest Friday, I replied to say that was fine...and nothing since.

He is crap at texting though, this amount of time between texts is not unheard of. I'm going to text him later tonight if I don't hear in the meantime. He doesn't like talking on the phone (nor do I for that matter) so that's not really an option!