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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating chat thread still going! Number 39

999 replies

lubeybooby · 02/02/2013 12:26

Here we are all

Dating related chit chat here

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 05/02/2013 17:33

Thanks watch and all keeping an eye out over there Flowers

OP posts:
watchoutforthatsnail · 05/02/2013 17:35

noooooo. no its not.
wouldnt do anyway.....

Snapespeare · 05/02/2013 17:40

I am in need of a [wetfish] please form an orderly queue.

sporadic texts/exchange of messages on Flickr from the nameless, yet no mention of a third date. I asked him out last time this is infuriating and it's making me weird and thinking it wont work out due to his general health, my sexual health, 12 year age gap, DCs, him being rather handsome...

watchoutforthatsnail · 05/02/2013 17:43

snape, wetfish. You only saw him sunday.
Today is tuesday.
dont be overkeen!

( just jesting)

I think you either ask him, and risk it always being you asking and him saying yes, being polite, or, wait it out a little bit and see what happens.

watchoutforthatsnail · 05/02/2013 17:46

and one persons sporadic texts would be one persons too much, and someone elses not enough.

Its all individule and changes with the person you are dating. While i undersand the red flag claims, it very much doesnt feel red flag, and im good at spotting them.... if it did, i would run.

So, what i mean is, dont sweat it yet. hes in contact, you know :)

Winefiend · 05/02/2013 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winefiend · 05/02/2013 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lubeybooby · 05/02/2013 17:48

I reckon he will ask, snape. [wetfish] the date sounded lovely... there's no reason he wouldn't.

OP posts:
Flipper924 · 05/02/2013 18:00

Hello all, I'm back home now, and very touched by all of your concern, thank you. Scan was inconclusive, I'm afraid. Looks like 5 weeks when I'm nearer 7. So either it stopped growing at 5 weeks (which, in hindsight, is when I had a feeling something was wrong- saw a close friend that I would normally have told, and couldn't bring myself to say anything), or it's a 'slow starter'. Lovely nurse gave me 50-50 odds, and an appointment for another scan in two weeks. I just don't feel pregnant, though, and probably haven't done since about 5 weeks, so I don't have a good feeling about it.

On top of this, I'm meant to be sitting in a meeting with my (emotionally and physically abusive) ex at work next Tuesday. Usually it's either him or me in the meeting, it hasn't been both of us since before we started seeing each other, and I really don't want to be having to debate with him, especially now. My boss has suggested that I use a 'having some medical issues which mean I can't guarantee being there, please find someone else to sit in for me' line, which isn't exactly untrue.

Snape, I think I'd wait for him, this time. It's his turn. But none of those are reasons for it not to work out [gentle wetfish].

Watch, just adding to the chorus of 'be careful'.

Snapespeare · 05/02/2013 18:07

oh flipper look after yourself lovely. Smile

I know, I dont want to look mad-keen (but I am!) and its only tuesday... gah! bloody hormones!!! I am in absolutely desperate need of a seeing-to! but i dont want him to think i'm just after-him for his cracking body.

this would be a lot simpler if (some) men people weren't
annoying my hormones

Winefiend · 05/02/2013 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lubeybooby · 05/02/2013 18:18

Oh flipper

If it's any consolation at all, with my DD I stopped feeling pregnant at about 7/ 8 weeks. I was also due midwife booking in then and doctors still tested way back then. My test was negative! They sent me for a scan eventually at ten weeks and there she was, and absolutely fine. The feeling pregnant did come back with a vengeance but not for a good week or so.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 05/02/2013 18:27

Snape I know how you feel. I am still lusting after TT even despite our situation. I know, I'm awful... but we have had a certain amount of bonding over the mutual awfulness of it all, and he is gorgeous. However there will be no sex for the forseeable because due to his obviously musclebound sperm we would both be too scared to use anything less than ten condoms and several caps and a femidom and the pill and a coil. And nuclear protection suits. And staying five feet away from each other at all times. With a brick wall in between. And sunglasses in case it was just looking at me that did it.

OP posts:
KinNora · 05/02/2013 18:27

Sorry the news isn't better, Flipper. I'm really pleased that the sonographer was lovely with you, that's good to hear. As for the meeting (you work in the nhs too, don't you ?) avoid it like the plague, use whatever excuses you can - you don't need that kind of stress at the moment.

Snape, hormones are bastards, I think maybe you don't quite require a slap with the wet fish, just a gentle lifting of the corner of the wet fish cover, accompanied by a raised eyebrow and meaningful tilt of the head.

Flipper924 · 05/02/2013 18:29

Thanks all, and Lubey that does help. I remember with my last miscarriage I gradually felt less pregnant over the week and a half before it all kicked off, so was associating that feeling with a negative outcome. It's nice to know it can work the other way. I have my booking in appointment 5 days before the next scan. That will be weird. But, it's on Valentines's day! So I'm pretending I have a date! With the midwife....

JulietteMontague · 05/02/2013 18:41

Lubey maybe it is indiscreet to state the obvious but right now... well I would.

Watch damn cctv.

Flipper I do hope it all turns out to be ok, all I know is that each pregnancy is different.

Snape consider yourself fished (gently)

Off to meet Morning Man shortly.

Flipper924 · 05/02/2013 18:43

Nora, I was debating telling the lady who organises the meeting the real reasons, but I thought that would be vindictive (she's his boss' secretary). I am worried that if I don't do it, they'll have trouble finding someone else, but there is every chance that I wouldn't be able to anyway, so at least this way they get notice.

Flipper924 · 05/02/2013 18:44

But it's evening, Juliette? I can't cope.

Snapespeare · 05/02/2013 18:44

lubey you're a star! You really made me laugh with your last post, that you are able to find humour in your situation just reiterates to me what an amazing woman you are. :)

flipper keeping absolutely everything crossed for you except my knees if nameless delivers

Well that's it, isn't it wine I've had relationships where I had to organise everything... Suggest the weekend away, organise childcare, book the transport, book the accommodation...when I just wanted to be whisked somewhere. He asked he first time, I asked the second time, he replied with a yes within three minutes.. he said he liked me, (I asked if he'd always been such a terrible judge of character...then said I liked him too!) and that he wanted to see me again...he's so exasperatingly laid back!(that'll be the M.E and the brain-fog)

nora maybe a light spanking with the smallest fish possible? :) I think it's because I don't expect things to go well for me...so I worry about sabotaging things... (Which is why I like you lot!)

JulietteMontague · 05/02/2013 18:52

Flipper Morning Man is a man who tried to set up a first date for 10 am last week, I am not a morning woman and if he's cancelled I would have been arrested. This is the second date at a more reasonable hour Smile.

Snape how about a sardine?

lubeybooby · 05/02/2013 18:52

Juliette It occured to me too but unfortunately we can't get together in time, damn blast arghh and gah

Snape mine and TT's conversations are a bizzare mix of tenderly arranging the important things, interspersed with inappropriate humour. I am glad he 'gets' me and is just as bad but hey it does lighten the mood just a tiny, tiny bit.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 05/02/2013 18:54

I think just approaching Nora while trying to look menacing holding a sardine would be fine.

OP posts:
VelvetSpoon · 05/02/2013 18:58

Snape I wonder whether because of the whole ME/CFS thing he is maybe a bit cautious/hesitant about arranging stuff due to not knowing if he will feel up to it etc? I don't know how bad his condition is but it could be a factor.

I do understand both the feeling that you're pushing it along when you'd rather he take the lead (I had this with Cuthbert , still do a bit really) and the whole lust thing too...it's good that I've been ill the last few days because otherwise I would have been consumed with lust by now, in my less unwell moments it has been literally all I can think about Blush this is what happens when you go a long time 5 years without decent sex...

Flipper I am still keeping fingers crossed for you. definitely agree you shouldn't go to meeting with horrible Ex, make whatever excuse you need to, but don't go.

KinNora · 05/02/2013 18:58

Lubey, I do have a sardine phobia, I'd be shitting myself

( not really )

JulietteMontague · 05/02/2013 19:02

and Flipper definitely don't go to that meeting, you are the priority right now so I would just say you are unwell.

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