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Original poster

Ex is a prick

173 replies

Lovingfreedom · 01/02/2013 18:17

I know I know...I've said it before...anyone interested in a thread where you can just say things like 'my ex is a prick' and other people say 'yeah so is mine'? I've tried wine and I've tried chocolate...but it's just not helping. He's not doing anything illegal, dangerous or frightening...just being self-righteous, entitled, irritating and generally... a prick..

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovingfreedom · 05/02/2013 22:42

Hello ninja yes I'm afraid you qualify for this thread....your ex is a complete and utter prick. Still not sorted with the holiday arrangements?

OP posts:
ninja · 05/02/2013 23:55

No Hmm just getting worse really. Of course it is all me being unreasonable Hmm

I also have a poorly dd2, that's the second week he's taken into preschool ill and ill no doubt have the fallout tonight.

Interesting dd1 is starting to see another side of him. She has to get herself and her sister up, dressed and breakfasted every morning and she's lucky if he gets out of bed before she goes to school :( both kids look such a mess when they've been to his.

Original poster
Lovingfreedom · 06/02/2013 08:05

Hang in there ninja? play the long game. Your kids will want to spend more time with you...and he will get fed up with having them around all the time. Some things that have helped for me include....showing total indifference to ex. Someone wrote on here 'never explain, never excuse' and I try to follow that. I never explain or excuse my own behaviour...just do it and he can like or lump it. If it's a drop off for you it's up to you when you do it. Do what you want when the kids are with you. He has no influence. Talk about him as little as possible except for asking if they've had a nice few days at the other house. Make their time with you nice, calm, food they like, able to see their friends, lots of good attention from you. I also try to focus on results rather than trying to either be reasonable myself or expect him to be. Don't talk to him except hello and goodbye...here's the bag...email only. And remember....your ex is a prick...it doesn't matter what he thinks about you.

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ninja · 06/02/2013 09:10

Next time I have to deal with him I will repeat the mantra you are a prick you are a prick Grin

lovingfreedom I aspire to your calm way of being. He's battered me so much with insults and accusations that it's hard for them not to stick sometime. Luckily I have good friends to keep me sane! If I can just get by this holiday and get into the routine we've agreed Hmm I think it can happen

Marryinhaste love the name - totally prickish behaviour and oh so familiar! The sociable, easy going charming man out and about. Lots of friends because he doesn't have to be anywhere. 3 nigts a week he'd go staright out after work and not come back until after midnight./ Yet - he coould never be home in time for me to go out to my hobby one night a week Angry

angelelle · 06/02/2013 13:22

Looks like i found the thread for me. Ex fucked off while I was pregnant and shacked up with ow. Pretended I didn't exist during pregnancy/sent nasty text messages telling me how ow was going to be active in raising my dd (they had known each other for 2 months). Didn't give me a penny towards baby things and when challenged told me he was nothing to do with me now and wanted to spend his money on ow.

Never asked me how i was during pregnancy but a couple of times sent me a text telling me how well he was doing at work, guess he wanted me to go over and suck his dick stroke his ego.

Flash forward and dd is now 4 months. He has never seen her. Friday I get a text asking if i am home alone and can he come and meet dd and can i answer quickly as otherwise he wants to have a drink. I tell him not convenient but he can meet her sun pm.

He comes over, plays with dd as if she's a cute kitten, asks no questions about her, does not bring a push present for me present for dd and then fucks off saying he might like to see her again as if I've just shown him a used car.

Heard nothing so texted him today askibg if he wanted to see dd again (trying my best to forge relationship between him and dd for her sake). I get a messsage back saying how terribly busy and important he is but no mention of dd or if he would like to see her.

He is a cold heartless nobber. worst of all he us quite an upstanding pillar of the community and it makes me sick that people think the sun shines out if his arse when u know that he is an evil psychopathic cock

angelelle · 06/02/2013 13:24

Sorry 'I know' ...fat fingers on phone

Original poster
Lovingfreedom · 06/02/2013 16:55

angelelle you've got your ex sussed...he is an evil psychopathic cock...is he paying maintenance for your DD? You'd be surprised how many people will praise upstanding pillars in public, but in private recognise them as pricks....and...you know what....so what? ...it doesn't matter...OW got the rough deal there tbh...she gets to live with the wanker. Be great, be cool, take the prick to the CSA and make sure you get what you are entitled to, move on. If that doesn't work there are some more 'intensive' suggestions up thread for dealing with prick-exes...not all of them are strictly legal though.

OP posts:
angelelle · 06/02/2013 17:13

He is not willingly paying but have csa on the case. actually writing this post just made me even more bitter. He is a member of various boards etc and feel like writing them all a letter telling him what he gets up to behind the scene. Just waiting patiently for karma to make her appearance.

I think you pretty much have to be a psychopath to hold your daughter and feel nothing.

Oh well takes knife out of back and tries to move on.

angelelle · 06/02/2013 17:14

Oh and if karma doesn't work ill take the illeagal route. lol.

marryinhaste · 06/02/2013 21:40

Ugh, prick has just left after gracing us with his presence for the first time in over a fortnight. He watched the football, didn't put the 2yo to bed until after 9, and ordered me around whenever possible ("run the kids' bath", "get me a nappy" etc). I never get a fucking break, and even when he's here he has the fucking cheek to tell ask me to do stuff.

We then had the obligatory argument once the kids were asleep - I asked him why he didn't see the kids when they had norovirus last week (and I had to take lots of time off in my busiest week of the year at work), his response was that he needs to sleep between his shifts as his job is important. He was working 4pm-1am shifts and is 15 minutes away by train. He refuses to get the train as he's too thick because he prefers the bus, so says he didn't have the time. His every sentence ended with the words "CSA" as he's livid I got them involved. I wish I knew where I could sign up to only pay 20% of my net pay towards the kids, and have someone else pick up whatever the rest of the costs were.

I am so happy except when I have to deal with prickface.

Original poster
Lovingfreedom · 06/02/2013 22:02

marryinhaste do you have to let your prick ex in the house? I wouldn't let mine in. I let him leave things for the kids in the shed. Sounds like when he does see the kids you are seeing too much of him too....Not surprised that winds you up. Still ordering you about? Time to kick this prick metaphorically into touch I'd say.

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Original poster
Lovingfreedom · 06/02/2013 22:03

I'm glad you are happy the rest of the time though. Smile

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marryinhaste · 06/02/2013 22:23

It's a tough one - I have been letting him come round because it means he can see the kids on a weeknight. He lives in a bedsit (I presume, he won't give me his address) and doesn't have a car so can't really take them out anywhere anyway. I need to start going out when he comes round, but am usually too bloody tired. If I go to my room the kids come and find me because he'll be ignoring them to watch TV.

I know it needs to change, but I honestly don't know what to do for the best.

Original poster
Lovingfreedom · 06/02/2013 22:52

Hmm...I personally found very early on that I couldn't stand having ex in the house. Certainly wouldn't leave him here unsupervised. I would have thought your ex would need to find somewhere outside your house to see the kids. He can't keep coming round, watching your tv, ordering you about etc. I'm not an expert though. Can you get advice on what are reasonable access arrangements?

OP posts:
TisILeclerc · 07/02/2013 00:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Lovingfreedom · 07/02/2013 11:38

I was lucky....a week or so after my ex moved out to stay with a friend, he was coming back to see the kids and to finish off some decorating that he was half way through. I came in from work one day to find he had let himself into the house, replastered some edges (that actually didn't need done as it had been done by professional plasterer but he though he knew better) really badly, then tried to sand them down without putting things away or putting covers on. The kitchen resembled the inside of a snowstorm, with the air full of plaster dust and a thick layer all over everything. I was so angry I didn't say anything except 'right...out!' and haven't let him back in unsupervised since.

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Donttrustmyselfanymore · 09/02/2013 14:47

Sorry need to vent!
My ex is a spineless manchild prick!
I need him to sign two forms, one for joint bank account one for council tax. Could he be an adult and just do it......oh no! Of course not. Has ignored me for two weeks of asking nicely for him to sign them. So I had to ask his mother (who he now lives with again) to pass on a message. Now he's refusing to talk to me still and using her as a go between, which ain't great as she's 50 shades of batshit crazy!

Why does he find it so hard to be and adult and just sign two forms!!

And all this after he left me after I lost our baby and nearly died from complications, because he was 'tired' and 'couldn't deal with it' 'it was so hard for him, why didn't I understand that and stop crying' and he stole my iPad! Prick!

kalidanger · 09/02/2013 14:59

Others might be familiar with this but it was a new one on me; my ex used to insist we cooked and ate together so I'd end up eating the same as him Hmm I was never allowed to skip it or just have a sandwich or an apple and cheese. And as previously mentioned he was a big chap, and into his food.

Since I slung him out 5 weeks ago I have lost a stone. This isn't even the heartbreak diet. It's just being free.

What a prick.

kalidanger · 09/02/2013 15:01

Oh, donttrustmyself Sad How awful Thanks Mines trivial after yours

ninja · 09/02/2013 16:54

Kalidanger nothing is trivial - I think that's the point of this thread! They might be evil dangerous men, or just pricks. We're allowed to complain here all the same.

Donttrustmyselfanymore · 09/02/2013 17:04

kalidanger That's not trivial, dont apologise! They are all pricks in there own special way. The ex I mentioned above also wouldn't let me eat or talk about crisps, mayonnaise, any kind of meat or fish, kiwis or cuecumber! I mean come on!!! Even if I mentioned them he threw a tantrum. In the grand scheme of life it was trivial.....but drove me insannnnneeeee. Thank god we are freeeeeeee Grin

TisILeclerc · 09/02/2013 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kalidanger · 09/02/2013 18:02

"I don't approve of kiwis"

Prick!

I'm eating tons and tons today, to celebrate :o

Donttrustmyselfanymore · 09/02/2013 19:04

TisILecLerc I have no idea....I think he just needed to have absolute control....his mother was slightly....highly strung about certain foods as well.

Kalidanger he text me the other day having a pity party about how shit his life is to see how I was. I replied I'm good just been eating tons of crisps SMOTHERED in mayonnaise.

Was it mature, no, did it feel good, yeah, did I have a giggle at the horrified look that he would have on his face, yep Grin he didn't text back for some reason. Hmm

I think ill join you in that kiwi celebration Grin

kalidanger · 09/02/2013 19:34

Smothered I hooted :o