Stupid Arguments you have with your DPs/DHs (Light hearted)

[CharlieSilver]

We've had an argument tonight because I was skyping my dad and asked DP to put dinner on, When I was showing him what to do, he did that STUPID man thing when they start walking away like they are so done with the convo, and even have that "Zoned out" look in their eyes.

Anyway an hour later I walk out the front room to see he's gone off in a sulk and not started dinner, I refuse to talk to him for being a hideous man child and he refuses to talk to me. god knows why, I am obviously right.. ahem I am now sulking upstairs (I managed to smuggle up some snacks though bwahaha)

I'm in for a joyful evening aren't I?!

What silly things have you and your DP fallen out over?!

How DP cannot hang washing on the airer properly lol I can fit about 2 loads on it, he manages 6 things!

Enjoying some music & (a lot of) wine I talked through this is planet earth, declaring Duran Duran where a bunch of posy hair do's who couldn't sing, dance or write their own songs. I then promptly went to sleep (crawling up to bed a few hours later and passing out, I mean falling asleep.
DH the next morning decided that I had been outrageous talking through his fav song to his fav band (news to me) and, as he is so rarely in a position of rightous anger decided not to speak to me till noon. A few hours later he tried to wake me up by tickeling my arm so I would realise he wasn't speaking to me. I apparently mumbled and rolled over.

The first I knew of this tiff was him bringing me toast & tea with a hug and a kiss, declaring the it was no good, he couldn't stay mad at me :D

Daft begger.

We had one last week about the order in which to sell things (getting ready for a big move) Obviously the answer is to just put everything up for sale at the same time and what goes first goes first, neither of us even suggested that no idea why it all ended in an argument.

Had another tonight...comes in from work and took my phone off charger to charge his, despite fact Id only just plugged mine in after it dying on me at lunchtime...petty I know lol

Whether or not to eat some eggs which were perfectly fine were past their best before date.

Whether or not to keep eggs in the fridge.

Keeping butter in the fridge.

When we played "Mr and Mrs" at Christmas and I thought his favourite food was pizza. Apparently this is a grossly offensive suggestion, OF COURSE it's sushi! WTF!? I have never even seen him eat sushi.

Dunno, we usually end up laughing at each other TBH

A huge Valentines day blow up over the Battle of Britain.

The way he hangs clothes on the dryer.
His inability to put things in the bin, next to it but not in
My inability to stop buying shoes
My inability to unpack all the shopping when it's my turn(in my defence it usually because I'm going to start cooking within the hour and I know I'm going to use that stuff)
His need to tub aware / cling film 5 left over peas that then sit and rot because they're too little.
I think you wash up as you go, he thinks that you wait till you have a pile to do.
His inability to throw anything away!

With lots of others, we do love each other really. . .

imagine you have a plane on a treadmill. The plane does not move, rather the treadmill moves

Would the plane take off?

CLEARLY, CLEARLY it would not. Why can't they see that? Grrr

They all revolve around the fridge...

• opening fridge, getting milk or juice out, sauntering away LEAVING FRIDGE DOOR OPEN!!! Drives me mad. At least new fridge beeps like an air raid siren when he does it :o
• buying stuff in supermarket from fridge section and putting it away in cupboard where it festers quietly. Meanwhile Angelico thinks, 'But I'm sure we had x, y or z...'
• dishing up madly out of date stuff from fridge, including fermented coleslaw etc. There was a real row over this when I was pregnant and aiming not to poison myself or the bean.

We argue cos whenever dh puts on some music I usually turn round and ask him, "Could you put on some GOOD music please?".

He tells me off for smoking Biros. I pretend to smoke pens and he tells me they are bad for me. I tell him its my first of the day and he tells me I need to quit. Then I get him to have a sly puff on my Biro. And I say "you see?".

Our best to date: Which of us has the more dysfunctional relationship with our mother

Our one serious row in nearly 20 years - how many sausages should be cooked for a family of 5.

How to empty the fucking bin. When he remembers or notices which is about once in every 10 times its empties he never ever ever puts a new bin bag in. Stabby stabby stabby.

I leave cupboards open.
He freaks out because I once hit my head on a cupboard I'd left open and passed out. He goes around behind me shutting everything and tidying stuff that doesn't need shutting or tidying!

Closest DP and I have got to an argument so far: Whether you empty out the Oats So Simple from the sachet before you use it to measure the milk or leave them in.
OBVIOUSLY you do the former!!!!!

We have arguments about things that are/aren't health risks. DH takes the

Dp doesn't empty his pockets. I don't wash his trousers if he's left screwed up boxers in them. DP puts disposables on DD instead of cloth (when they were his idea).

I bring home random cats

Over food and me chucking his whole plate of chips/kebab in the bin because he was being a stubborn mule and not sharing equally thread here if you're bored

When I dreamt he was unfaithful to me with his EX-wife and couldn't speak to him all morning. I know it was ridiculous but I was so angry I wanted to kidney punch him as he lay snoring innocently next to me.

He found it hilarious btw.

Me and the ex once argued because of the Bewitched song Cest le vie.

He was adamant it was an Irish saying I was laughing to hard to put him right. He wasn't impressed. He argued till he was blue the the face!

I used the immortal words Fucking google it

Even after he saw he was wrong he wouldn't admit and sulked all night

Me and the H are in constant low level battle mode about where things should live, and how things should be done. This makes both of our lives difficult, but neither of us are prepared to back down.

• Doing The Fridge: When unpacking shopping, I like to sort the fridge so stuff past it's best goes in the bin, food is arranged in a way that makes sense and is easy to find. When he does the fridge, he packs everything in there in the same manner employed to pack a car boot for a fortnight's holiday. This then means if you want ANYTHING from the fridge you have to unpack ALL of it. Including the stuff that's gone off.

• Making the above more annoying, he believes cupboard produce such as ketchup, pickle etc that are not opened need to live in the fridge. WHY? WHY? At one point an entire third of our fridge was condiment-based. Aaaargh.

• I believe the can opener and scissors should live in the kitchen drawer, he believes they should live ANYWHERE but the kitchen drawer, which means they can never be found. We now have three can openers and about seventy million pairs of scissors.

• He thinks my drawers in the bedroom are open season for him to store any random collection of shite in. He's not precious about his own drawers either, but it's the lack of respect for my stuff that does my nut. Stop rifling through my stuff! Have a bit of respect you giant toddler!

I know I really annoy him with all kinds of other random not annoying things, because I asked him recently. I'm not sure why. I think I expected him to say, "But dahhhling! You are the light of my life! Of course you could never annoy me!"

Our last one was over a dent in the kitchen bin, that he was appalled that I must have made while being careless/clumsy (I am a bit), and was cross about how we would need to go and buy a new one for about....40 seconds, until I reminded him that he had dented the bin when he couldn't get the bin liner our because it's a stupidly designed bin.

Generally we argue about the fact that I am a disgusting skip rat who chucks anything everywhere, and he is obsessive about tidying and cleaning. We did used to engage in a silent battle of wills over my refusal to change the toilet roll, and I would balance the new roll on top of the holder just to see how cross he could get. Until one day he HID THE TOILET ROLL. Fucking HID IT! And I didn't notice until I was mid-toilet. Bastard.

How we would spend a lottery win.
...
We don't play the lottery.

DP likes to do the dishes when coronation street is on. The problem is that he 'can't' do the dishes unless he has his music turned up really loud, which means I can't hear the TV. Drives me crazy!