tomorrow I hand over my children to the OW for the first time

[chocoreturns]

I don't know what else to say, just need a hand hold tonight.

OW and STBXH are now house hunting 15 mins from my house, and spending EOW with my baby and DS. They have been lying about her being there right up until today. I finally reached the end of my tether, while listening to DS1 tell me all about house hunting with OW all day, having been told he was with only his dad and granny.

So I called STBXH and told him I'm over it, it's time to stop pretending I'm an ogre who can't bear to meet her, and to bring her to handover. If she's going to be on my doorstep and having my children in her home, I need to know who she is. She took my baby DS2 swimming with his dad today - it was his first swim. I am far beyond anger now and I'm just sad about it all :(

Not sure what to say to her, but I would like to take her to one side when STBXH is putting the kids in the car, and say look - I know you and I aren't going to be friends, but my children are my priority, and I need to know they are safe and happy when they're not with me. If you ever don't know what to do, or you're on your own with them and you think they need me, please know that it's ok to call me and I'll be fine with you. Then give her my number.

Is that mad? Or sensible and mature?

This is a moment I need a mumsnet straw poll :(

lol thanks bamboozled! I'm glad the drugs are gooooooood. I actually have a cabinet full of my super strength codeine (leftover from when I was on 120mg a day for spd!) so I could mute the pain of life if needed (luckily it's really not that bad :) )

I am fine really. It's just that my mum said she'll have the boys overnight and I'd come around to AF's way of thinking, so I feel a bit bummed out that actually I may not get the chance now! A friend did suggest I should just text him that, and see him pop back up lol :)

x-post with you there thumb - no new lingere, no! I'm going to get out this afternoon and have fun with baby bean instead and stop thinking about it. No more messages will be forthcoming, I promise!!

oh and with you skye!

Never mind about carpenter man. If he makes contact, fine. If not you know there are going to be more men interested in you but you are going to be Ms Discerning and just brush off the unsatisfactory ones

you are very right. And just at the right time, Mr Dentist has decided to ask me out. He's been a slow burner for about 6 weeks, so I might just go for a drink and see how it goes. I need to chill and have some fun. I gave myself the heebie-jeebies earlier today feeling all lovestruck for not getting a text back. Not sure I want to have actual feelings and stuff just yet!!

See?

Choco, I advise on data protection and what your surgery has done is a serious breach. Some advice here from the information commissioner who you can complain to if the surgery don't deal with the matter:

ICO complaints

thanks eagerbeagle, I'm going to make sure they take it v. seriously and thank you to everyone who has given me such amazing advice and help. I know what to say to really put the wind up them now and I'll be taking a DVAS worker with me to meet the practice manager I think, so that it's hammered home how dangerous it is.

On my goodness, it's lbsvk to happy families again, what with Chip the carpenter and Drill the Dentist...
You've made a bedridden old bag giggle out loud!!
X

Back to, obviously, iPhoneitis...

Oh God, just snorted out loud to think what AF is going to make of naming Mr Dentist - Drill....

hehe

no word from Chip. Shall I offer Mr Drill the open evening tomorrow, given that I have a sitter organised? Or should I wait and see?

I have cheered up considerably since this afternoon, and am less of a lovesick puppy, thank god. Would still like to do naughty things to Chip but I'm sure a drink or two would be a good distraction from him in the meantime!

yes, choco you should! act like an American and 'date' - it is brill and v.good at preventing too much worrying about why one didnt call: who gives a fuck when you've got two or three other, erm, irons in the fire.

I used to tart around a bit 'date' - it was brilliant! the rules are, until you have the 'we should be exclusive' conversation (sometime near the first shag normally) you are seeing other people too. Means you get to test drive a few at the same time while you are still at the 'meaningful glances and occasional snog' phase. Bloody good fun.
[nostalgia]

Drinks with Mr Drill, so if Chip wants to see you, he'll realise he needs to be a bit more thoughtful and let you know...
Had same situation with Mr Bamboozled when we first got together, as he was so used to just doing what he wanted, at a moments notice, it didn't cross his mind that I needed planning time.. And I used to try and hide that as I was a fucked up over sensitive escapee from an bullying relationship I took this personally even though II really didn't need to... Until one day I spelt it out [not that it changed much, maybe gave me another half an hours notice]

Yes, use your child free evening on DrillBoy and shag him

If Chiphead contacts you now, you have the perfect reason to say he missed his chance, and you have other plans (although I would say that at this point even if you haven't)

Yes, get Phil McCavity booked for Sunday, shame to waste a babysitter.

Phil McCavity - OH I LOVE THAT!
Allalonenow - you have reached the top of the leader board!!

Right Phil the Drill has been texted we'll see. Chip will be politely rebuffed with an 'I made plans, thanks' if I hear from him now - I'm nobody's last minute fall back. If he wants to see me he'll have to wait, if not I'm not going to mope. Bloody glad I didn't sleep with him though as I'd have felt like crap, so I'm going with your version of tarting around dating blackcurrants and playing hard to get until I really truly want to get involved with someone.

I intend to have some bloody good fun and remind myself a) men aren't all twats and b) I don't have to hang around waiting on any old twat man who comes along, because settling is not allowed

Drillboy can't make it tomorrow, but he's definitely booked me for Weds. 8pm, so now I just need to get a sitter... here's to playing the field!

Tra la la, choco's in control. Could be any number of genuine reasons Mr Carpenter hasn't been in touch, but good idea not confining yourself to one contact at this stage. Nice to have Wednesday night with Mr Dentist to look forward to

Ha ha ha bamboozled, I think I am a nobdie really.

The problems with your back seem complicated, so if I have made you smile, for even a moment, I'm pleased. I am sure you will have guessed that my STBEXP is a dental surgeon!

I laughed so much at your FaceTime exploit, especially as I am Flemish, (and use FT a lot). Sending you best wishes for a good and speedy recovery.

Choco, apologies for this hijack of your thread, no wish to derail at all.

Aw, thank you - am quietly groaning lying flat on the floor at the mo... And just discovered that the reason Mr B (Dr) has been shouty all day is that he had the MRI report without telling me and it was hinting at possible metastatic lump on my spine. Dishy back Dr says not though, but it took all day to get the report to him, while Himself was stressing out without telling me why.... I thought we have already done the end of the world scenario earlier in the week, so am a little pissed off to be back there again.. So on it goes... Aaaaaggghhhhh
I just love the Phil McCavity bit,
But back to Choco .. I still think you need some new underwear for dating, makes you feel much sassier!!!!

I'm sorry, that was really wrong of me to have a whinge on here
Very much looking forward to hearing if Chip gets in touch tomorrow, and if you'll let him dove-tail his way into your evening... (see what I did there!!) and as blackcurrants says , dating is the way forward...
I thought Mr B was 5 years younger than he is, for a whole year as when I met him, I was sort of dating someone else, and got their ages mixed up!!
X

Crikey Bamboozled, that sounds bad. Hope you are ok. x