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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm not miserable and this is a red flag

20 replies

InNeedOfBrandy · 25/01/2013 06:28

While having sex last night the man ( an ex ) recorded me. Was on top but turned around knew the phone was on but he said it was for light so he could see. I believed him (I know I'm stupid) until I heard to beep once he had finished.

I am not miserable or over reacting to of made him delete it am I or to be fucking cross that he lied.

I really really hate lying but he doesn't see his lying as a big deal as everyone lies apparently.

Arghhh

OP posts:
AKissIsNotAContract · 25/01/2013 06:35

What a wanker. He's totally in the wrong here. You won't be seeing him again will you?

BigGiantCowWithAKnockKnockTail · 25/01/2013 06:36

I'm presuming he was already an ex for good reason.
Seriously, don't go there again.

InNeedOfBrandy · 25/01/2013 06:39

No i bloody won't!

I'm still in shock that he would do it and think that's fine. He can fuck right off! Just wanted to vent and to confirm I'm not over reacting.

He also said that because I'm so miserable I'll always be alone and what's my problem now he's deleted it.

OP posts:
BagCat · 25/01/2013 06:51

What an arsehole to do that to you without your prior consent. You are NOT over reacting, not in the slightest. You have every right to be furious! Thank goodness you saw it and got it deleted.

InNeedOfBrandy · 25/01/2013 07:24

I know, now I'm just hoping he didn't send it on somewhere before deleting it.

OP posts:
Lueji · 25/01/2013 07:34

Are you sure it has been deleted?

In any case, do drop him.

ImperialBlether · 25/01/2013 07:36

It's against the law to film you without your consent, isn't it? I would report him to give him the fright he deserves.

AnyFucker · 25/01/2013 07:42

Report him to the police

That will shut the arrogant Fuck up

Anyone on this thread that asserts "amateur" porn sites are harmless fun populated by consenting couples having lovely sex, this is why that is a myth

Branleuse · 25/01/2013 07:45

id report him too or at least call 101 and see what they say

fruitstick · 25/01/2013 07:48

Report him. Have the police wipe his phone.

fruitstick · 25/01/2013 07:48

I'm not sure how things work but there might be a way of deleting it on the phone but it already having been saved to iCloud etc.

Seriously, report him.

ImperialBlether · 25/01/2013 07:56

Does anyone remember the guy in the news who had cameras all over his house (eg in the smoke alarm) and was filming all the women he slept with? Pretty sure he ended up with a custodial sentence. I'm sure the police would take notice if you reported it.

ImperialBlether · 25/01/2013 07:58

Isn't Google marvellous? Here he is.

HandMini · 25/01/2013 08:13

If you feel you can, do report him.

No person should feel they has the right to do this, it just shows some people's completely fucked up judgement when it comes to consent and respect.

I hope you feel ok.

mattysmum09 · 25/01/2013 08:19

Yuck that is wrong op I'd be mortified. Might consider it wwith someone u trust if your into that kind of thing but it can stil come back to bite you so probably not recomendable!! To do it without asking is out of order.

DeckSwabber · 25/01/2013 08:43

No-one should film you without your consent.

The fact that he thinks this is any way ok makes him dangerous.

CashmereHoodlum · 25/01/2013 12:57

Please call the police.

spatchcock · 25/01/2013 13:05

Yeuch, that is grim. Sorry this happened to you. Something similar happened to me - in the days before digital, with a camera (don't ask!). I went absolutely bananas. He thought I would be 'flattered', apparently. Hmm I laugh about it now but I felt really violated at the time.

Don't know what to suggest other than castrating him, sorry.

pictish · 25/01/2013 13:11

Yanbu... and then to go on and tell you you'll always be alone because you're miserable??!! What a fucking shit.

InNeedOfBrandy · 25/01/2013 15:59

Have been seeing him back since December although not to the point where I'd not class myself as single.

He'd been staying a few days as dc were at my nans (problems with breakfast club) and I feel oddly sad now he's not here.

I should be angry (I have been all day and have been thinking about calling the police) but now I just feel sad.

Oh well dc are back now and we have a good weekend planned Smile

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