Hey, it's the Dating thread... number 37

[lubeybooby]

Of we got - all dating chit chat here!

blimey watch where did this one come from? Is your current approach meet in person quite quickly so as to establish whether there is a spark or not, rather than have protracted conversations building up a picture that might not bear real life scrutiny?

it was both bant.
And thats allowed. If you dont fancy someone, whats the point in sitting in painful awkwardness for hours?

And the gillet thing was part of it, so flame me :)

he looked like a 1940's yorkshire man. I just dont find that attractive in ANY way, and i dont think many would. And no, its not rude or hypoccritical to say so.

snape, ive been chatting to him since early jan, so its been a while. I wasnt expecting great guns, but on paper appeard to have lots of shared interests. So, i met him to see.

I don't fancy 1940s Yorkshiremen either. S'not hypocritical at all. You fancy who you fancy. Personally I'm put off them by the strong dislike of Lancastrians and the fact they have a penis. But everyone's entitled to different reasons.

exactly, so i have no need to feel a ' little bit guilty' because i left a date because i didnt fancy him.

well, personally I'd stay till the end even if there wasn't a spark if the conversation was okay, but if he's going on about throwing things at cats I could see why you'd opt out.

it was a coffee date, we had both drunk our drinks.... it was time for another, or leaving, it was only going to be an hour long date anyway ( which he knew)
So no, not really rude of me at all.

perhaps it might be better not to jump down my throat and attempt to make me look bad, before you know all the facts.

:)

just out of interest, why should i feel guilty for leaving a date if i didnt fancy them????

just wondering what train of though brough you to that conclusion?

Perhaps it would be better to not say you dropped him because you didn't like his clothes. Which is what you said.

All the post-facto justification you want doesn't change the fact you appeared to have done something which would have caused howls of outrage if it had happened to someone on the thread. Just saying you left because he was cruel to cats would have been fine. Saying you dumped a guy who up until that point you'd been saying nice things about, because he wore a fleece made me think that was a horrible thing to do.

And if someone on here appears to act shitty to someone else I'm not just going to applaud them for it. Sorry.

Happy Birthday Snape and .

watch oh dear.

I am not my best today, reeling from last night. Ive realised that when we split I was so relieved to be away from the mad behavior I never allowed myself to grieve for the relationship. I think I also had hope that if he 'got better' we would be together again and that if only i could have been a nicer person i'd have put up with it. Neither are true.

ive not been saying nice things about him, ive hardly mentioned him......

I also dont think it would have caused howls of outrage, for one, how would a woman know if she was dumped based on her skirt or something, she wouldnt, because she wouldnt be told. Its not like i said to him ' omg, you are wearing a fleece gillet, wool tie and fucking farmers shirt' and then ran off laughing is it.

i didnt like his clothes. Attraction is physical and mental. I wasnt physically attracted to him, not wholly on his clothes, but that was part of it, first impressions do count, and anyone will tell you that.

I stayed and gave him a chance and he was awful.

And so i left.

there is nothing i have to feel guilty about. That how it is with dating. Juliette despaired of her dates clothes a thread back, i dont recall you chipping in and having a pop at her for being rude.... so, this leads me to belive that maybe your issue is with me, personally, and trying to either score points, or cause an argument.

There is no need for either.

Bant, sorry but watch did say the date was dire. That ought to be clear to anyone it wasn't just about the clothes. And you jumped in guns blazing.

Juliette I think it's pretty normal to feel that way. As we were saying last night, contact (remembering that looking at profiles and googling counts as contact) opens wounds.

It does sound like it's given you a positive way to heal properly from it though. You've done the right thing going no contact.

Happy Birthday Snape! (There should really be a cake icon. Cake is appropriate to so many situations). Great thing about my new job - everyone gets to take their birthday off.

Juliette, how are you? It's ok to grieve for a relationship even if it's one you know you're better out of.

Watch - lol, I can't imagine why you didn't stay for a second cup! (And don't knock the dog, I have some very meaningful conversations with mine)

I replied to Mr60's suggestion that I give him a call. Just a non-commital "Sure, maybe one evening". We'll see what happens. I can safely say the stomach flip-flops are gone...but I am still interested to hear what he has to say.

If a date is dire I would absolutely leave at the earliest possible opportunity!!

Unfortunately my most dire dates have been with men who were so very much less attractive than I'd been led to believe that I was kind of dazed and confused by the shock and so couldnt get myself together enough to make a quick exit

Juliette You are on the right path now. You will get there.

Happy Birthday Snape fellow AQUA!

Yoga i think you're reading too much into this call - you wanted advice about stuff in his area or something didn't you? So it will be about that. Possibly hinting at wanting to mess with your mind a shag too.

He's not going to say 'actually I was an arse and I don't mind the distance anymore'

So please try not to be interested in anything he has to say, I'm 99% sure it isn't going to be anything beneficial to you emotionally. Or in any other way. I wouldn't even speak to him for that reason. Ever.

Yoga Agree with lubey If my spilt with my ex taught me anything it was don't look back. Onwards and upwards.

Im sorry????

So you have just said you are mean to me on purpose and have feel sorry for everyone else.

Fucking hell.

Just, fucking hell.

Bant wtf? grow up!

Stir a load of shit, on purpose, then announce it's not fair and time to move on. Riiiight. Gotcha.

You really need to learn how to apologise and be gracious when you are wrong instead of throwing your toys out of the pram.

It wouldn't have taken much to say sorry and blame not having read the original wording correctly or something. Jeez.

Careful lubey else you will move from bants list of ' feel sorry for ' ( do you like to be around women you feel sorry for to boost your ego bant???)

Onto his ' shit stir then be passive agressive'

Hi all

Long term lurker on here. Ive posted a couple of times and just wanted your opinion on this one. Met a bloke about a year and half ago. Got on well - had a few dates and I thought it was promising. Anyways after a couple months he did the old vanishing trick. No responses from my txts or messages from my fb. He deleted me as a friend shortly after. I thought oh well - chalk it up to experience. Last night I got a message through POF from him saying 'hey we should catch up' . Now do I ignore or reply and give it to him with both barrels? We had become intimate so it was a crap thing to do one without explaining why. A part of me wants to not give him the satisfaction of a reply but another part of me wants me to ask wtf happened?

Any ideas on what to do??

I remember you Seaside:) I'd probably act all nice and friendly to coax out of him the real reason that he went awol

Then I'd invite him round to my place, tie him up and torture him to death

ONLY JOKING!! :o

seriously I would be nice at first to find out why, then I'd just leave him hanging