Feeling shaken over DH's overreaction to my stupid behaviour

[WonkyBookshelf]

Toddler and I were sat on the floor playing. I was feeling a bit ignored by DH, who was sitting at the computer while we played, so I jokingly chucked the wet nappy I'd just changed at him (it was balled up). My aim is shit so I accidentally caught his glasses and knocked them off (was aiming for his chest).

I fully expected him to be pissed off by my frankly stupid behaviour, but he totally overreacted. He shouted something incoherent and threw the nappy really hard at the floor, where it burst and covered DS and I in those little gel balls it's filled with. DS was upset by the mess as he got some in his hair and it was all over me.

I feel sick and a bit shaky but also stupid because I should never have thrown the nappy at him in the first place. Things have been quite tense recently as we are both feeling stressed so it shouldn't have been a surprise that he wouldn't have found it funny, even if it hadn't knocked his glasses off. But still, he was disproportionately angry and I hate that DS saw that. I'm also 7.5 months pregnant :(.

[AThingInYourLife]

soulresolution - MN Relationships is a really wonderful resource, full of knowledgable, incisive, caring women with a wide range of experiences and a deep capacity to support and help.

This thread is not typical.

[extracrunchy]

I'm not going to engage any further in this destructive exchange. Mumsnet is supposed to be a POSITIVE environment, not somewhere cowards go to snipe at people they don't know.

[saycheeeeeese]

nolittle hopefully you can catch a grip of yourself someday and stay away from the threads on here that dont warrant your support because their not serious enough in your opinion.

Im away -OP I wish you the best with everything and I hope you and your OH resolve this.

[sudaname]

Tbf it wasnt a case of the OP not getting chance to tell us what the other problems were. She obviously didnt want to tell us (her prerogative) although was asked to elaborate many times after many people asked or suggested about underlying issues. But she would only give detail on the nappy throwing incident, which the majority of people have responded to unfortunately for her feeling she was in the wrong. But in the absence of any clue to these other issues we cant give any opinions or suggestions about them except generic ones i.e. to seek counselling, talk them through with her DH, see her gp, etc. and all of these pieces of advice have been given, from the beginning.

[NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere]

How dare you call me a 'troll' simply because I don't agree with you, I have reported your post.

[OliviaPeacein2013Mumsnet]

Our guidelines for anyone who may need them
Thanks all.

[NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere]

saycheese I hope to get better at not replying to BS threads too.

[NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere]

Olivia, I think souls post should be removed, she has directly accused me of trolling. Not just a reminder.

[MmeLindor]

NoLittle
you might do well to remember that goading is also against the guidelines.

Olivia
Can this thread not be locked, as it does the OP no good to come back and read it (if she even returns at all).

[NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere]

MDme, I goaded who? when? I expressed my views and others replied, do you consider RL conversation goading?

[EchoBitch]

MmeLindor is right,this thread should be locked or deleted,the poor woman has repeatedly said she was in the wrong and is sorry for her actions.

She needs support,not beating up,she's 7.5 months pregnant and in tears.

We don't know everything that's going on in her life and it doesn't sound like a bed of roses for either her or her DH.

[SabrinaMulhollandJjones]

HoldMe CloserTonyDanza wrote:
"I just want to chime in that in our house, chucking a (dry on the outside, wee, rolled-up) nappy, or some balled-up socks, is not unheard of. For maximum points you have to sneak up on someone and yell "sock attack!". Things are never thrown in anger or hard enough to hurt someone and I always miss.
is normal for us and while I have been towel-attacked in the past when not in the mood my reaction was to say "ugh, no, I'm not in the mood". If my glasses were accidentally knocked off I would be cross and look cross and say crossly "Oi, what are you doing you eejit". Then I would accept the immediately-forthcoming apology.
I realise many MNers would apparently hate to live in my house. That's fine . But there is a massive difference between what we do, what the OP was trying to do, and throwing something in anger at your wife and toddler, so hard it breaks open and covers them with piss.
That would leave me shaken and upset, too, OP. I'm very sorry about this and about the frankly nasty reception you've had here. I hope you've had an apology."

This was closest to my take on all this. Me and dh have a 'horsing around' kind of relationship too, and quite honestly I think I may even have thrown a balled up nappy at him in the past. If it had accidentally hurt him, I would've have immediately run over saying 'Oh so sorry, that was meant to hit your chest' and he's have called me an arse, and laughed. And then proceeded to tickle me to death.

The point here is that there is something much bigger going on than the thrown nappy - OP was clearly upset and distressed and admitted that she was wrong on Page 1 but some Mnetters still just cannot resist putting the boot in.

[SabrinaMulhollandJjones]

Yes, and I agree to the locking of this thread - no point allowing the haterz piling in any more.

[EchoBitch]

And i've never seen such a nasty response in relationships,usually it's a topic where ''If you haven't got anything nice/useful/supportive/helpful to say,say nothing at all'' is the norm.

[HoldMeCloserTonyDanza]

chucks tea towel at Sabrina

OP, if you'd like to have the thread deleted, just ask mnhq. You could name change and start a new topic here in Relationships. Or, just pop back to this thread and talk some more if you like. Please don't be put off by infighting and sniping. The topic is here to be helpful and the vast majority of posters will be.

It can be scary/overwhelming when a thread takes off quickly.

[2013go]

OP, hope you post again, people seemed to go crazy on this thread, but there is a lot of helpful advice on here usually.
FWIW, I don't think urine usually poses a major health hazard, or necessitates a hot shower, as some have suggested

[NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere]

Mrsw. I am an adult, so why should I feel ashamed of my opinions. FFs. Note to new posters, only post on MN if you follow the majority, otherwise the pitch forks will be out

[SabrinaMulhollandJjones]

< Yells Sock Attack at HoldMeCloser>



OP, ignore all the nonsense on here. Start another thread on Relationships and try to vocalise the problems in your relationship. Do not mention the balled up nappy.

[iclaudius]

omg hope youbare ok op -

she only threw a nappy - you lot sound a right load of stick in th muds - its not so bad!!!!

[EchoBitch]

A bit of empathy wouldn't go amiss Buddha,and there are some opinions that people hold that they should be ashamed of.

As for pitchforks,you do seem to be the one holding the biggest one.

You don't have to attack if you don't like an OP,you can just stay away if you have nothing useful to add.

[Moominsarescary]

Fucking hell what an awful thread what is wrong with some of you