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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

999 replies

Mouseface · 08/01/2013 11:59

Hello, tis me, Mouse Smile

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT Smile

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

OP posts:
Tigerinthegrass · 15/01/2013 18:13

Did someone mention Jaffa cakes? I'm making myself sick on haribo at the moment. I'm going to be the size of a house if I carry on like this!

curryeater · 15/01/2013 18:43

Me too. Had to run a mile and a half to get my train tho, could not have done that a month ago! How are you feeling now purple? Feeling so awful at putting all that crap in my mouth, leading into a nasty spiral, will have to hold tight tonight. Hold tight anyone else who is falling into any kind of hole. Evil hour is approaching

Tigerinthegrass · 15/01/2013 20:03

Hope everyone is being good ? It's very quiet

NewYearNewMia · 15/01/2013 20:22

I'm here Tiger, and I've been good. Halo Grin As long as you don't count the chocolate that I'm nibbling. How are you?

NewYearNewMia · 15/01/2013 20:24

I was just reading this in the BBC magazine, about how difficult it is to have a social life when you don't drink alcohol, and how ingrained drinking is in British society.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21009756

kotinka · 15/01/2013 20:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

determinedma · 15/01/2013 20:34

Hang on in there Babes. Witching hour is nearly over. You are all doing really well. I'm back on track tonight, no booze, no carbs and a quick 30 minute walk after dinner.
Joey don't murder, ignore, ignore, ignore. It really winds them up. Then switch to agreeing with whatever they say - it drives them crazy and gives you immense satisfaction.

Tigerinthegrass · 15/01/2013 20:43

Himia yes I'm behaving too but had a terrible tea and now snacking on rubbish lol. interesting article. I'm boring and don't go out often so not really a problem for me, but the odd girly night I go to drinking tea is Definately a no no

Tigerinthegrass · 15/01/2013 20:46

Ah so you are all hiding till the ww has gone lol. Well done all and if she got you, there's always tomorrow x

aliasjoey · 15/01/2013 21:01

purple are you okay hen?

Mouseface · 15/01/2013 21:12

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Curry - firstly, woman up! Wink Grin Dudes, I have just eaten a ton of crap chocolate, like really a ton, of the really shit sugary variety, and it is making me feel sick and shakey. tell me to woman up is better than a bottle of wine, and you know that! DO NOT undo what has been done.

You Rock! Huge respect to you lovely lady.

Mia - yep, you're a social leper if you don't drink. Why on earth would you want to go out if you're not going to get pissed? Society is geared up to the 'weekends' except the weekends no longer start on a Friday after work.

It's a 24/7 party people culture these days. There is a pub in the nearest town here that serves a pint with your breakfast at 8am.

You don't drink? Why the hell not? Hmm

Koti - yup, I remember the shit attempts at the guilt trips with those ads.... what fucked me off about them was that it was ONLY EVER WOMEN that were featured getting pissed, puking and risking rape etc..... (I think? I'm right in my rant aren't I or did they show a man too?) Sorry if there was a bloke one, I don't remember seeing one or rather I am choosing not to because I think that it appears more 'acceptable' for men to drink. Go to the pub after work......

Anyway, that's just not enough. Where are the pictures of what booze does to the body? Where are the social workers taking the children into care? Where are the police arresting people for drink driving (not just the Christmas/NY appeals they ran) the morning after the night before.

These things happen EVERY DAY. Women and men get raped when drunk, or drugged, they're BOTH vulnerable. We are all at risk of cancers through alcohol abuse. We could all set the house alight after drinking when the munchies kick in, fall asleep with a pan on the hob.....

There is so much more than young girls going out at risk. Why not show a parent after a day at almost breaking point, necking a bottle and their kids not being heard when they cry out for them?

It has to be raw, it has to be real. It has to be now because alcohol KILLS. It fucks your life up. And it hates it when you tell it to fuck off so tries even harder to pull you in, keep a hold on you, seep into your skin, slide into your mind, just as you think you're okay............. it get's you.

What gets me is that they slammed smoking and passed laws etc..... they aren't allowed to advertise smoking at all or have smoking products on display any longer in most stores (Supermarkets here at least) so why not treat drinking and other addictions the same?

People will and do argue that smoking isn't the same as drinking. Why? It kills, it harms those around you. It takes and takes and give NOTHING back. It fucks your health up. It affects EVERYTHING! More needs to be done to support those who want to stop and stay stopped. Or to cut down at the VERY LEAST.

I'm sorry for the rant but I feel that whilst we do have some invaluable resources out there like AA and community teams, GP support etc..... more has to be done to educate.

Surely?

Sorry Blush

KEEP GOING BABES. Keep fighting the fight!

I have a meeting with Nemo's school, preschool, SENCO and nurse tomorrow afternoon...... I'm not sure what to expect.

Sorry for waffling on so much tonight. Night xxxx

OP posts:
Tigerinthegrass · 15/01/2013 21:20

mouse good luck for your meeting tomorrow, I've had my fair share of them. Usually quite successfully. I've always found them quite relaxed. I had a great relationship with our occupational therapist which helped as well.

PurpleWolfe · 15/01/2013 21:26

Yes, thanks Joey. Feeling a bit better now the shop is shut. Day 6 (by the skin of my teeth!) completed. It really doesn't help spending 4 hours a day in a pub a licensed hotel in the room next to the bar. Sad I'm not very good in the winter anyway. Think I might have a touch of the SAD about me. Actually starting (despite myself) to enjoy the course. There is a lot of camaraderie between us all, already.

Curry thanks and....chocolate won't kill you!

East Not crap advice, thank you.

Koti Thanks for your hand holding! Good idea about the SAD lamp. You are a star. x

Ma Hope your bursitis is easing up?

PurpleWolfe · 15/01/2013 21:27
kotinka · 15/01/2013 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrinityRhino · 15/01/2013 21:47

Happy New Year to everyone

I have been completely sober for 194 days now

It would have been my 13th wedding anniversary today

last year I was up to my eyeballs in hard drink hours ago

this year I'm more interested in living

determinedma · 15/01/2013 21:57

trinity awesome. You give us all hope.
My brother has lost it again. Was supposed to meet my mother today but didn't show. She has written him a letter saying she loves him and will always be there for him no matter what problems he has, but the ball is inn his court and she can't cope anymore with trying to help him if he won't help himself. He WAS going to AA and getting counselling but it looks like he's chucked it all again.
I think he'll end up topping himself. We have tried everything and he is just too damaged and full of self loathing. Don't really known what else to do.

curryeater · 15/01/2013 22:00

well done Trinity. Best wishes on your anniversary.

thanks for your thoughts all.... I was afraid the jitters were going to send me into a bottle. it's all mood and blood sugar stuff that finds its way into creating problems to which it can then be suggested booze is the answer.

great post mouse

safe in bed for one night. odaat

best to you all, my heroes

Somethinggottagive · 15/01/2013 22:00

Hello all. It has been a while since I posted on this thread....and, well, I just want to mark my place and be back on it again please.

PurpleWolfe · 15/01/2013 22:08

So sorry to hear about your brother Ma, it must be really difficult for you to cope with. Do you know whereabouts he is?

Great, inspirational post Trinity.

Something Of course you are welcome on the bus. Take a seat. Smile

determinedma · 15/01/2013 22:14

Hi purple yeah, he's in the next town as far as a I know.has lost his job so don't know how he's paying for his flat and eating.Mum says we are just to leave him be and let him come to us. I dunno. He knows where we are, he knows we will help if he asks, just can't trust him or believe a word he says anymore

helpyourself · 15/01/2013 22:16

Welcome Something and hi Trinity- lovely to 'see' you and congrats on your 194 days.
(( ma )) look after yourself.
Face is up again Sad sour sweets are a wacky internet solution, so maybe you were onto something with your blumin' Opal fruits. Might as well try it as all else has failed.

PurpleWolfe · 15/01/2013 22:21

Ma It must be so difficult to 'let go' even though it's your DB that needs to be the one to ask for the help. What happened after the hospital visit a while ago? Did he get any professional help?

aliasjoey · 15/01/2013 23:07

ma thanks for the advice - I will try to ignore as you say. I know that as an excuse for murder, "it was dry January, m'lud" isn't a great defence Grin

babyjane1 · 16/01/2013 08:09

Morning babes, had a horrible night of sweats and palpitations, this morning I feel sick and wobbly. I am shocked to
What extent wine has been affecting me, I have always known I drank too much but my ridiculous withdrawal symptoms show my dependency has reached a dark point... Anyway just putting my thoughts down and on day 2 I will not drink. Joining weightwatchers this morning to get on the right track with my eating. I'm also toying with going to an
AA meeting (never been before) but I'm not sure it's my thing, I'm trying to be upbeat and think I might hear awful stories that may bring me down, any advice wod be great. ma you are in my thoughts, I hope things get better for you and to all you wonderful babes, keep posting, it's all that's keeping me sane at the moment x x

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