The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

purple I was wondering who TG was and thinking ' you tart!'

there was a purple tart
online dating was a start
the farmer was so tasty
she thought ' I shan't be hasty'
but Joey was too keen to play her part!

Fucking hell it's hard tonight.

mia you can do it.. xx

holly trouble is I am in the peri stage too, that's why I'm so bad. I know what you mean about spare tire. Where did that come from apart from the vat of wine I drink lol

what's so hard mia? have you had enough to eat? do you have something to take your mind off it this evening?

Hello babes.

kot, so sorry to hear you're down in the dumps. It's been a greyish, snowish sort of day here and I think people are feeling it. Too much of January. I hope you feel better soon.

mouse - sounds like you had a good day (I hope so).

gugg - AA sounds hardcore. Wishing you strength for it (and I can see it is worth it all).

I hope everyone's doing ok, keeping the wine whine on mute.

Tiger I'm like you, PMS, perimenopausal, spare tyre. And I always find I drink more during PMS, probably because I feel so rotten and emotional and don't know how to deal with it differently.

Danger's passed. Phew.

Thanks Joey and Holly, I was very hungry, that was mainly the problem, and was cooking a really lovely meal that was just screaming out for a nice glass of red to go with it. DP came home exhausted, and I know if I'd suggested opening a bottle of red tonight then he would have. I had to be very very firm with myself. Now that I've eaten I'm fine, and actually the meal was delicious even without the wine.

I'm loving your new guise as the bard of Gerald, btw Joey!

Thanks Horses. Green I loved that, you're a star! Joey I like it! A poem! Written about me! A first, I'm sure.

4 mins to go as I write. I've been really close to tears today, several times. I had to pop into Asda on the way back from DS's swimming lesson and I can't believe how hard it was not to buy wine. But, I didn't. Really down.

2 mins now and I wouldn't make it even if I ran. So, that's good then. Hard day. x

great stuff!!

Back again
i feel so crappy but this is the only place i can truly be myself and let it out. my DH doesn't know what i'm doing. Have a second bottle of wine hidden in the wardrobe right now just as insurance in case I can't have enough beer. won't feel good driving into the city tomorrow for radoitherapy. Really scared in the snow in case some nutter bumps my car and i 'm over thye limit.

i'm so sorry for just taking from this forum but I'm too weak at the moment. the inspirational sytories I keep reading give me hope. Too many names to mention but hearing about everyone's experiences just makes me feel as though one day I might be able to do it. So THANK YOU EVERYONE.

If it's OK I'd like to lurk and maybe take strength (so sorry to not give any back) and hopefully, soon, I will be at the bus-stop with my fare and my destination clear and will be able to join you all.

I really feel as though I can cope/accept the cancer (which I've had before) much easier than this compulsion to drink. I don't even like it any more - how wierd is that.

I'm so thankful that I'm not alone. I really hope to give something back when I am able

Love XX

Sorry not been on, been busy in real life & so tired!
mouse thank you for your kind words & hope your having an amazing special day x
smells hugs for you sweetie (( )) hope you can find the strength to get the help & support you need
Night night brave babes. End of day 11 xx

Needsa you hit the nail on the head there, it's the only way I know how to cope. I'm just sat here glaring at everyone dropping hints I could murder a drink! Smells you've got such a lot on (hugs)

smells you really can be yourself here,so post don't just lurk. I don't think you are enjoying drinking at all. Is there any chance that the bottle in the wardrobe can be thrown away? Frozen? Can you get your dh to get rid?

You're not taking, we all know how insidious alcohol is,it makes you do things you don't want to do. Please drink some water or brush your teeth.
Best wishes for tomorrow, is anyone going with you?

I used to hide alcohol in the cupboard too 'just in case'. Just keep talking on here and take each hour as it comes - things sound so hard for you. I'm sorry :(

mouse thank you so much for your kind words, you are very sweet.Hope that this birthday has brought you lots of delicious cheese
By the way, you and ma don't look a day over 21. well, mouse doesn't anyway

East that aa group sound like a massive pain in the jacksey. I've had a tiny bit of cats bum face from one person but I could see that she was only being kind.

kotinka The word 'essay' and 'feeling down' go hand in hand as far as I'm concerned. I hate writing the bloody things. Good luck!

ok I hope I get this right: Well done for ignoring the ww to clutter and tiger, purple, mia and LRD and green and anyone else.

joey love it

Ok. More from me

Right, the therapy is painful. I think that east and mouse were spot on in the things they said. I am very emotional when normally I am as hard as nails. (ahem). Aa is very real, I can't hide or pretend to myself anymore.
But after a few hours of feeling low and thinking about the past I'm able to let go of the feelings and think about the past from a new perspective which really is the nature of therapy.By now,I don't feel sad or low, I feel happy and peaceful, which is the point.

I need to go through with it because the more of this I work through the harder it will be to pick up that bottle, mostly because I don't want to go through all this again.

The ww hasn't visited at all in the past 2 days, she will probably put in few visits soon just to remind me. I really need the support of the bus as well as aa, so thank you anyone who has offered some help or asked about me.

I would share my chocolate buttons with you all but the packet appears to be empty...

Guggs I am loving your posts at the moment. So raw and true and honest. You sure are one brave babe x

Smells keep posting my lovely. For every one of your posts there may well be many others reading and drawing strength. My God, you've got a lot on your plate and I take my hat off to you. You are more than you realise, you are more than you may ever know. Please keep posting. We care x

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Sorry to see that some of the lovely Babes are struggling tonight..... KEEP POSTING! KEEP TALKING! KEEP TRYING! xx

Holly - my gorgeous boy Nemo has had a really rough ride as it happens, but to look at him, in his clear blue eyes, you'd never know. (Pics and more info on my profile)

His smile melts my heart. His giggle is enough to melt my pain and he is the most amazing little character that life would ever introduce you to. He is smart, and funny, loving, caring, sensitive, gentle, soft, and cooky...... but he's here. He is safe, and he is moving forward.

He has glue ear, the fluid is behind his ear drums and has been since birth. We didn't know that he would have been born with any Additional Requirements.

We were told when he was three days old that he had a life threatening heart condition and that he would need surgery once he was strong enough to survive it. He has a scar down his chest from his collar bone to the top of his tummy and he looks so fragile when he's undressed and it's exposed.

He is my life and the reason that I am here, on this Bus, as you may have read the other night. DD is too, as is DH. My family are hugely important to me. My own health seems to be on the back burner when Nemo needs me.

Like now.... the cold and winter kill my back, hips, and pelvis. The achy pains are so hard. I feel like I'm grinding parts of my pelvic area together when I walk.

Summer is my best friend with my pain but for Nemo he'll always have 'something' that we have to deal with.... as one thing gets resolved, another condition appears.

We have genetics soon, they took blood at his last op so we'll know more about his future and other conditions once we go to speak to them. March I think it is?

Anyway, Holly - you're doing great. Keep going. Keep fighting. Keep living sweets.

Thank you for all of the lovely Birthday wishes today. I've had a great day, Nemo settled at school, DD has been ace, DH has worked hard to be home and here at a decent hour and Nemo is fast asleep for now.

So, night night Babes

Tomorrow is another day of ice and snow here...... not great but we're safe and warm. xxxxxx

Just keep posting Smellslike - you don't have to worry about giving back, just posting your thoughts and experiences will be helping someone out there reading. Hope it goes ok tomorrow.

Gugg good on you for facing up to all this. I agree with wise Faire, you are one brave babe.

mia as soon as you posted that you were struggling I wondered if you were hungry. I'm sure you have mentioned before about a link between food and cravings? (forgive me if I'm wrong) it made me wonder if there is an issue with blood sugar (diabetes or something, not sure, am not a doctor obviously)

purple bloody well done you. You deserve a round of applause.
Well, dh bought wine because its my birthday so I've had some but not with the desperate craving of yesterday. Feel in control and chose to have a few glasses.
Ds made me a cake and dd1 who I often don't get on with much, sent ,e a beautiful brooch made of silver and amber in the shape of a rose. I was surprised and touched. No exercise today so better get my arse into gear tomorrow. I have to lose two more pounds this week to make a half stone lost.

Thanks for thinking of me Joey. My danger time is definitely definitely when I'm hungry, both for drinking and for eating unhealthy food. I like drinking on an empty stomach the best, as I don't get that initial euphoria if I drink with food, so my danger time has always been late afternoon when I'm hungry and thinking about dinner, and am tempted to dive into a bottle of white that just slips down soooo easily that half a bottle or more is gone before I know it, and before I've even had dinner. Hence me giving up white.

I know that if I can last until dinner then I've resisted the WW. I've been having a snack in the afternoon and that helps. I guess it could be low blood sugar levels, so that makes the snack even more vital. I have to eat before I go food shopping too, otherwise I'm powerless to resist anything that takes my fancy, including wine. I've found that planning and cooking really nice food has helped a lot this time around in resisting the booze.