The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

Morning babes,

Happy birthday to yooou,happy birthday tooo youuuuu....howls through the next few verses. Hope you both have lovely days.

joey

green I'd forgotten about Pauline and the LofG. Hope that cheers purple up.

I'm really sad and emotional again, for 'good' reasons though. I think that I hadn't really understood that aa is therapy and that therapy means thinking about the very painful parts of your life. I went to a meeting last night and it has brought up all kinds of painful thoughts about how I drink and how it has lead me to behave. OW!!!
I'm fine because I know that I've used booze to supress my feelings for years so I need to spend a bit of time on them. This happened last week too and I felt sad for about 24 hours but then I was able to move on and I felt so much better and happier than I have done in a long while.
If aa was a physical exercise course then I'm at the stage where every tiny part of your body aches because you've haven't bothered to use it before, but this is the only way to make the changes and achieve the goal I want.

So true about the 'therapy'. You have to really stop and think about being 'real' without hiding behnd the drink, look at the reasons behind the drinking, feel everything without numbing it. It's hard - whatever way you do it.

thanks all
at joey's limericks and happy birthday to my rodent partner in crime, the fabulous mouseface
green just wait until I pick myself up from this puddle I've fallen into...

Well, I'm home. I had to sneak out as he was VERY clingy this morning but his worker distracted him and I've snuck out......

Washing machine engineer will be here soon!! Hopefully, he can fix the bloody thing. Grrr.

Joey - thank you very much lovely xxxx

Ma - who are you calling a rodent you cheeky thing! Good job we're Birthday Buddies or else I'd be pinching your share of this cake I have for later!

Re the BabeBootCamp (or the BBC for short? ) let's get back on it! I am heavier but that's because of my bowel issues. When my meds get to a certain level, they stop working (TMI, so sorry) so I'm carrying a lot of waste right now.

I hope you're not offended by that post earlier about you drinking last night and me seeing it coming I posted it because I care about you and how much you'd have been beating yourself up over it today......

Gugg - yep, it's bloody hard work. Listening to others is tough enough but when it's you who's voice you can hear, saying even a few small things about your drinking, letting the boxes that you've held tightly shut for years open gradually, all of the things that you thought you'd dealt with so long ago are going to re-appear.

One thing I can say is that I've never been good with therapy. Of any kind. I don't like talking about me (I shit you not ) especially not face to face because it's raw and there is nowhere for me to hide. It's real and you can't take it back once you've said it in RL. You can fumble and mutter around the issues but actually letting them out, releasing days, weeks, months etc of your life to others is hard work.

You can't delete the posts, rub the pencil out, tear the paper up..... once it's out, there it is for all to see. And that is very frightening at times.

Gugg - you'll experience so many different levels of emotional euphoria but also so many deep, dark lows. You won't know how or when, they'll just come but it's all part of the recovery of YOU lovely.

Please keep posting and telling us how you feel. Tell us if you're scared, tell us if you've had a great meeting and tell us why. Tell us what we can do, as your friends and fellow travellers to help you and we will.

I think you're incredibly brave and wonderful for going to AA and for dealing with this Gugg. I really do xx

Better make use of this time and see if I can get DD's phone up and running. Long story short, got a great deal off my little Bro for an iPhone for her, her own savings, but it's locked so he's been trying to sort it out. She's been waiting since Christmas Day for it and it's going to be another week.

I love her, I really do. Not once has she kicked off about it. She's just 'it's okay mum, I know you're doing all you can'.

Back later xxxx

Happy birthday ma and mouse. Hope your doing something nice. Well haven't cracked yet, just done two weeks :-). Not easy though very tempted to give, got pmt and in a foul mood !

kotinka I know what you mean, it just feels like endless hard work, doesn't it? I think sometimes I haven't got the energy to keep fighting against it...

If the weathers not too bad where you are, can you get out for a walk? Exercise and/or sunshine really do help. This might cheer you up...

Pest control treatment: £130
New bed and furniture: £200
Post-traumatic counselling: £20/hour (each)
The look on my MILs face when we told her were infested with mites: priceless

Thanks Green and Mouse. Yes, it was today. It was, in fact, a lot better than I pessimistically assumed. (Still don't want to go ) The course is all women (not designed that way just coincidence, apparently) and not one single 'yoot' with his jeans crotch round his knees (how in the hell is that comfortable?!) and to a large extent, it could have been a RL MN meeting of women who don't have a job! Got sent home early for bad behaviour because the room was sooo cold! Suffered a huge craving on the way home because:

a) I had actually gone it to the course (medal, please!)
b) I had organised myself in order to be there (another medal please!) and
c) the course is in a hotel and, to get to the course room and to get to the loo from the course room, we have to walk through the bar. Even at 10.30am there were people in there drinking alcohol.

Even the smell of alcohol permeated into the course room. Had to talk myself out of not buying wine when I was doing the essential supermarket shopping. I just managed it but I still have over 6 long hours until the corner shop shuts. Sigh.

Green You DID drink wine BUT you paced yourself over a good period of time, had soft drinks too and didn't get slaughtered - in my book that sounds very much like controlled drinking. No beating yourself up - I'm getting pretty handy with the oiled squid now - just ask Ma!

Yeay for Joey the Poet Bus Laureate! Made me smile.

Gugg Therapy can throw up lots of painful stuff we've been hiding, ignoring, burying or denying. It hurts to 'put it on the table' and look at it, face on, and sometimes it takes a while for the hurt to come through, but, ultimately, it helps sort it and come to terms with it. It is worth battling through. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Mouse I hope Nemo has a great day and you get a little time to yourself and hope the washing machine repair man is good-looking!? x

Right, almost time to go and collect DSs from school. Girding my loins to fight The Booze Bag off! Having a huge wobble. Take care all and stay warm. xxxx

(PS Just had really nice phone call from TG! )

Koti and Tiger sorry you guys are feeling down. The rollercoaster of emotions is tough. I'm there too. Hugs.

Joey Such an expense, just after Christmas! Hugs. at the MIL's face bit though! x

NOT TG - but TF!! (Ffs!) x

Koti - It's natural to get this way.... the down side I mean. You have such a high, you live on cloud 9 for so long and it's lovely for hours, days, weeks. You feel amazing and so proud of each day that you go AF.

The slumps that come and go are usually a little like 'it's not fair' kind of feelings....

Koti - you've been through so much shit of late, no big surprise that you have felt shit of late. Money you don't have but you'd have less if you'd have been getting pissed every night xxxx

Oh and I'm loving the MIL comment!

Tiger - same as above for you I guess. It is tough, really tough to keep going and keep smiling the whole time. Your WW will be telling you to just give in and go for it. Why bother? Just drink....

This is what she wants. I wish I could give you all a massive hug today Babes......

So many hard times and so many temptations to shout 'FUCK IT!'

I'm sorry to read those posts. Keep posting, keep talking and letting it out. Keep saying it out loud, keep going. xxxxxx

I have to go get the boy! He's done a whole session (almost) by himself with his 1 to 1!!! So I'm very happy with today.

And no, my washing machine man was 50+!

Back later, be strong Babes xxxxxx

understand the posts above, it does get harder as week 3 approaches.
mouse course I'm not cross you nutter, you were right. I could see it coming too!
Keep at it guys and if you do slip up, try and contain it as best you can to do least damage and climb back aboard tomorrow.

oh, and GO NEMO!!!!!
Nearly a whole day - what a clever boy.Give him a big kiss from me....

Haha purple I thought TG was another date and I was going to start a spreadsheet for you

Joey love the limericks luvvy and the 'priceless'

Mouse someone I know would call that having 'a train waiting at the station' iykwim! Hope it's not delayed for too much longer

Well done Nemo what a big grown up fish!

at Faire

Well, WW is really busy over here in snowy Suffolk, whispering her sweet nothings in my ear. "Still got over 3 hours to change your mind. Shop doesn't close 'til 8" she sings softly.

I always get in a foul mood with pmt ( yes I am a joy to live with ) and usually have my wine to take the edge off it. I feel like I'm constantly on the go as that's how I'm stopping myself drinking by being busy. And we didn't get the promised snow!

C'mon purple, tell her to bog off and bother someone who cares!! She can talk to the hand in snowy Suffolk......

Happy birthday mouse and ma!!

tiger SG can be interesting at times! Are you a nail geek like me?

horse yes but only natural nails, never fancied learning enhancements. Love looking at nail art

makes me almost pleased to be menopausal tiger I'm been going through the peri for about three years now. Don;t feel too bad on it but am definitely 'thickening' around the waist as they so nicely put it!! We've had a fair bit of snow today but it seems to have stopped now. Paulines pens - bloody hilarious - dh and I had a night not long ago watching videos (yes, videos!!) of LOG, so funny!! So glad Nemo was ok, mouse. tell me to butt out but what are his actual problems - I was interested as you talked about his hearing. Feeling really blergh today for some reason, tired and icky. Probably all this mad swimming and cycling in the snow!
Tomorrow is a big day as Molly is sitting the entrance exam for one of the local prep schools. We have no money but have applied for a bursary. I know it's dodgy MN territory but we're partly doing it due to her hearing issues -the big classes are difficult for her, with no help from a ToD (they said she's 'too clever' to get one )and also because her teachers at her primary said she is doing exceptionally well, and is pretty much top of the class. We just thought 'sod it'. My nephew went there on a bursary and loved it, so we are giving it a go.

So, Monday night, two corries, and cbb. My life is complete... Hope everyone is whipping the witch x

purple show this to the booze bag some.ly/M3F5H3