Are we always able to get over heartbreak via romantic telationships?

[SoleSource]

Or do you think there is a limit as to how many.times we can achieve it.

Via? You mean getting over a heartbreak by plunging back into another romance?.... bad idea.

There's no limit. In romantic terms, hearts are made to be broken and mended ad infinitum.

Personally, I've always been quite partial to savouring the exquisite state of heartbreak from time to time, but I can't be arsed summon up the enthusiasm to become so besotted with a man that it would break my heart if he buggered off upped and left me

No sorry, tired.

Is there a limit to how many times a person can keep risking tbeir heart with different people. If each time their heart is broken.

Not at all. I think people are like diamonds... we can take a lot of tough knocks and all it does is polish us up a little better than we were before. Older, wiser, less naive, more wary, more cynical ... but as the saying goes 'better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'

Hmm, quite an interesting question. Depends, partly, on how you percieve your 'romantic heart'. I have dumped and been dumped by various people, it's never been that big a deal and we are all still alive and well.

I would actually suggest that you (general 'you') prioritize your physical and financial wellbeing over your romantic wellbeing, and make sure that there's more to your life than romance and couplehood, and though it may well still hurt to get dumped (well, it will, no one likes being dumped, loving someone more than that person loves you is always going to sting, but you won't die from it) you won't need to get so stressed about it.

It has been four yeats five mo.ths so.ce he leftme. I am so s ated of risking my heart. There must be other factors preventing me from dating again. Maybe my emotilnal abuse from childhood and in recent years platonic friends that have used me.

I am a Carer too for my disabled DS. That has changed/weakenrd me

I think some people do have limits. I have known three people who decided that enough was enough and they weren't prepared to have their heartbroken again and vowed to remain single. So far, they've stuck to it - 7, 9 and 10 years.

I also know someone who had a disastrous first marriage but an astonishingly happy, perfect second one but the husband dropped dead of an aneurism after just a few years, both in their 30s. The heartbreak was so much, she has never dated again and I genuinely believe she never will.

If a romantic relationship is the be-all and end-all of your life, then those inevitable knocks we all take will dent you badly.

One of the other factors that may be preventing you from throwing your heart hat in the ring again lack of confidence, especially if caring for your ds has, of necessity, limited your geographical horizons.

Have you engaged in any counselling in respect of the emotional abuse you suffered in childhood?

Thank you for answers so far. AF is right. My life is little and limited because of DS, tberefore heartbreak does make a bigger dent :(

I have had eighteen months of Psychodynamic therapy. I left in June 2012 as my eating got out of control because of the pain of it. I had one more session just before Christmas and have felt emotionally mixed up since.
Between June and Christmas the therapist has sent me two handwritten xards asking me to go vack. I don't want.to. She is too err different from me. It is very difficult for me to exoress.how I feel and so.i.might use an exampme from a popular movie abd she has no idea what I.am talking about as she stopped watching movies and television in 1976!

:(

Could you ask her to recommend a colleague?

Could you ask to switch therapists as she isn't a good "fit" for you? This must happen a lot.

Oh. So you don't think.i am being unreasonable AnyFucker?
I shall be afraid to ask her. It might insukt her. I think she was upset at our last meeting. She asked me if this,was our wrap up session. I felt I couldn't tell her I didn'twant to come back. I did tell her I thought we were too different. She is very err posh, highly educated, cultured. I struggle to describe how I feel. Its too painful. If she diesn't watch movies etc sorry I know I sound totally stupid but emotionally I am a mess in aspects.

Therapist stated her not watching tv wasn't an issue. Maybe it isn't.

Confused, fed up :(

I know therapist diesn't knkw some of what is in my mi.d. I need to release it. I sonehow think sge would dismiss it. Like she says mumsnet is not.to be trusted.

I toldher about.you Anyficker, monthsago. She ikedyour name. She said some you can trust...:)

Erk < looks out of window nervously >

I am not a therapist, but if you don't "fit" I am sure it can hinder your client/therapist relationship, thus limit the help she can give you. I don't mean that you should keep on replacing one after another until you find one that says what you want to hear, however.

I am sat here watching "50 Shocking Celebrity Moments of 2012" and laughing my head off. I can't imagine I would gel with someone who hadn't watched telly or films and was very different to me either.

Ooh gosh!
I was right!!!

Which channel please?

Thank you AF you're theMN relationship angel. So relieved you answered. I always trust you.

I've been watching Village of the Damned which, in your ex-therapist's eyes, would seem to be a place we're all living in

< opens beige mac >

I have some dodgy vids here..betamax, cheapo price, just for MN'ers..

Yes I know.

Ohhh I feel bad

I asked her.if she watched tbe news when 9/11 had happebed. She said she was up a mountain and had no idea it hadhappebed u.til several days later. She has only seen photos of it in the newspaper and listened on the radio.

Maybe that doesn't matter?

I would have to feel some sort of connection or there might be a risk that I would sit there opposite her the whole time thinking to myself "fuck, you are weirder than I am !"

Lol I take it all back AF

Yrs. I do feel that not just bevause of her choices about television etc just she seems to need me . Bizarre feeling to write it down, just feel she is finding it hard to.let go.. I shall ring her and tell her I am.not coming back again.

Hmm why is life so hatd, every single thing it seems sometimes..i always get wierdos

< dons cynical hat >

What does she charge per session ? No need to answer specifically, but remember that if she is paid per client....

Anybody know how one is supposed to feel in a session. What to expect. Maybe my expectations are too.low or just because I.was naive. I did learn some things wasn't total.waste of time.

Maybe I need cbt.now

£40 for 60 minutes.