Well take some control.
If one of your friends told you that her husband had had an affair, what would you be telling her?
If she told you that he blamed her for the affair, what would you be telling her?
If she told you that he had sex with her while she was basically asleep and unable to consent, what would you say to her? (I class this as rape too btw).
If she told you that he had said he was actively seeking other women, and she had found evidence if this in dating site profiles and messages, what would you say to her?
If she told you that her husband was mooning over the OW instead of trying to fall over himself seeking her forgiveness, what would you say to her?
If she told you that he was saying things like he had paid for the house etc, what would you tell her?
If she told you that he wanted to be put first, above his DC's, above anything else, and have his wishes met all the time (sexual, domestic and free time), ignoring everybody else's needs, what would you say to her?
If she told you that both her DC's were behaving unusually, being more cuddly and tearful, because they were picking up on the atmosphere, what would you say to her?
Seriously, do you want to live the next however many years of your life waiting for him to chest again, trying to not make any domestic demands on him, putting yourself aside to fulfil his every whim, allowing him to have as much free hobby time as he wants while you get none, standing by whole he has affair after affair, shag after shag and then puts you at risk of STI's by having sex ON you while you are not even awake enough to consent?
Do you want to be continuously wondering what he is doing so secretly on the computer now that he has set up passwords - NOT the actions of somebody who is going to be faithful and trying to seek forgiveness?
Do you want to turn yourself inside out, and crush whatever self respect you have left by letting him treat you like this?
And as this will be your DS's role model of how to conduct a relationship, do you want your DS's to grow up thinking that it is ok to cheat on your partner, ok to expect them to do all the shitwork while they go and do hobbies and screw around?
This is NOT a good environment for you OR your DS's.
The ONLY person this is currently suiting is your husband.
Why do you feel you don't deserve better than this? Because you DO. Everybody deserves better than a cheating, lying scumbag as a partner, who is refusing to stay faithful, is open about the fact that they are looking to cheat again, and as well as being unrepentant, is even trying to blame their partner.
You DO deserve better than that.