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Relationships

Hope on a Rope - J and J needs some support please.

190 replies

lazarusb · 02/01/2013 18:38

Hello everyone. J and J has PMed me and asked me to start this thread for her. She is going to try and check in soon. Unfortunately her dh is ill again, I don't know details but she appreciates all messages and support we can give her again. She is so grateful for all the support she received last year and is sorry she didn't make it back onto the thread before it filled up.

So, hope to see all your friendly faces back on here again soon!

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ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 16/01/2013 02:39

I feel like I've accidentally walked into the wrong house, right into the middle of a dinner party! :)

J&J - I'm not sure if I've read any of your threads or not, but I am now thinking of you and I hope your DH is OK. Look after yourself too x

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Homebird8 · 16/01/2013 02:40

Pull up a chairChipping. I'm sure someone will pour you that coffee. Brew

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Walkacrossthesand · 16/01/2013 08:24

In the UK homebird Blush but given to faffing about far too late at night, no DP to keep me on the straight & narrow, and 'a last look' at MN on my smartphone -when I should be reading book for book club- makes some of my postings very nocturnal.

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Walkacrossthesand · 16/01/2013 08:26

Strikethrough fail : when I should be reading book for bookclub I meant! Good morning to J&J too, hope today is a good day for you.

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lazarusb · 16/01/2013 11:32

Walk and Chipping - you are very welcome, I understand what you mean re:the dinner party! Smile and Wine to you Walk for reading the entire 1st thread! Also nice to see Midwife again, hope things are settling down for you.

J and J, I hope you are reading, even if you can't post. There's a lot of love on this thread, we are here when you want us. Hope the weather isn't too rough in your neck of the woods.

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Plumpcious · 16/01/2013 14:22

I remember JandJ's thread. My thoughts are going out to her and her family, and hope that they're bearing up with whatever life is throwing at them at the moment.

And hello to Dondon, who also seems to be going through the mill. Any progress with the nipple warmers?

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dondon33 · 16/01/2013 23:59

Hey all! new and old.

The patient is doing well thanks for asking milking it now a little maybe :)
I'm over the shock of it now, I think.....
No, there's no news on nipple warmers - not the bought kind anyway (I make my own with cotton wool ) but the temp has risen today, it's actually warmer than the UK but I shan't be holding my breath.....I'm getting - 10 again tomorrow.
I shouldn't complain really because this time last year it was - 28 Shock Now that is some serious cold, believe me.

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Homebird8 · 17/01/2013 01:47

Now Dondon here is what you need to ask DP for.

Possum fur nipple warmers

Possums are a pest here in NZ so what better use? PM me if you'd like some sent!

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foolonthehill · 17/01/2013 11:01

Snow, snow, ice, snow....even foolish dog looks like an icicle today.

Warm thoughts to all of you and especially JandJ

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AutumnDreams · 17/01/2013 14:39

Loving thoughts to you all from a freezing North West. Tomorrow, apparently, we can look forward to snow. How I envy you Homebird. I am actually feeling the nipple freeze too Dondon - as well as a few other places! So pleased to hear the patient is on the mend. I well remember those gut wrenching dashes to hospital with my precious late husband.x.

Much love to J and I hope that H is getting the help he needs. Always here when you need us.x.

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lazarusb · 17/01/2013 19:52

My goodness Homebird...I really don't know what to say! They do look cosy though! Grin Personally I went to Uni today covered from head to foot in socks that have a tog rating, thermal long janes and t-shirt and Thinsulate gloves. I was warm as toast all day (even nipples) Grin

Still no snow on the South Coast...

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dondon33 · 18/01/2013 17:52

I've found some :) :) I was in a sex shop today, for research purposes you understandBlush and I found some furry ones. Okay, technically they're not for what I want them for but will do the same job. So I'm now the proud owner of toasty nipples Grin

Thanks so much home for your offer though.

Dp seems well on the road to recovery, although that's debatable..... he usually HATES central Warsaw with such passion but at his floaty, still a little drugged suggestion we headed there for a few hours this afternoon, just to get out and get some fresh air really.
I've came home with said nip warmers, a new coat, a lovely new scarfy thing (like an overhead/neck sausage you can use as a scarf and hat) the biggest, fluffiest earmuffs I've ever seen (I'm not a fan of hats, got lots but they make my head itchy) He also got a new coat :)
Now we're going to snuggle up n watch some TV. -15 tonight :@

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lazarusb · 18/01/2013 19:15

-15 Shock Have a lovely evening Dondon. So glad you have sorted your nipple problem Grin

Have a nice weekend everyone, whether you have snow or not.

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JackieandJudy · 18/01/2013 21:22

Hello lovely people - old and new! How I've missed you all, it feels like an absolute age since I've been here and seen you all (as it were). A huge thank you to Laz (she of the amazing christmas pudding) for starting up a new thread, with a fab title. I've just read through it and I feel like I've come home to be with my friends again. I know how cheesey that sounds, but you have no idea how comforting it is to see the familiar names, and new ones too, still being thoughtful and sympathetic, and most of all, still being here. I hope you all had wonderful Christmases and have had/are having good positive starts to 2013

Dondon, sorry to hear about your dh, I'm so glad to hear he's on the road to recovery. You sound like the right sort of person to have around in an emergency - any time you want to drop by mine, you'll be more than welcome!

The last few weeks have slipped by in a haze, I can hardly believe Christmas has been and gone, and that it's been about six weeks since I posted? Shortly after my last post I could see that Dh was feeling unwell but just thought he had a bit of a cold. Hah! Should have know dh never has "a bit of" anything.

One morning, about three days before Christmas, I could see he was really struggling, but even then, I didn't worry too much. It wasn't until later that day when he actually asked me if I would take him in to hospital that I realised he must be feeling extra bad - he generally does everything in his power to avoid hospital. When we arrived at A & E, since there were no parking spaces, I pulled up outside the main entrance and told him to get out and I'd meet him inside. He got as far as the bonnet of the car before collapsing on to it. I was a bit shocked as I hadn't realised quite how ill he'd been feeling, and if I'm totally honest, my first reaction was to worry about holding up the queue of traffic behind me!

I can't really remember too much about the next few hours - he was rushed into rescuss as it was discovered that his blood pressure was virtually non-existent, and it did seem as if nothing the staff tried was working. There were any number of drips up, injections being given, monitors attached etc. The staff were brilliant but there was no response to any of the calls the duty renal registrar was putting out for a renal consultant, and one of the nurses said "his systems are shutting down". The renal reg ran off then to the renal ward to physically get hold of a consultant, and thank god, she was soon back with one in tow. They stabbed him with something then (no idea what) before running through the corridors pushing him, drips, oxygen and all, to the renal ITU. And to cut to the point (otherwise I could quite happily bore you all with all the details!) it transpired he had double pneumonia.

Pretty sure most people would have written him off at this point, I know I had. But, being the stubborn bugger that he is, I am happy to report that he is alive and well, if not quite kicking! One of the docs told me just before dh came home that he didn't know anyone else who would have survived this latest drama, especially in view of all that he went through after the heart op. And I know pride comes before a fall and all that, but I am so amazingly proud of him and his resilience and his sheer strength of will. And I'm sure that all the prayers winging our way, courtesy of the good people of MN, will have played their part too!

So, can't say it was the best Christmas we've ever had, but that was then, and this is now. He's home now and going from strength to strength, and as determined as ever to go to Bar School in September. In the meantime, he has contacted some people he knew back in his working days to see if they can help him get some (unpaid, unfortunately!) experience working in law firms. Dc were all amazing, and I tried to keep as upbeat as possible for them (think all the presents helped somewhat too!).

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foolonthehill · 18/01/2013 22:22

Oh JandJ, you never lack for drama...lord your DH must have the constitution and will power of an ox to get through that. I am sure that you must feel that you have been to hell and back.

Hope you can find a little space to look after yourself as well as your lovely and miraculous DH.

Much love to you both and all those you love

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Skyebluesapphire · 19/01/2013 02:45

Wow JandJ, your husband is truly made of special stuff isn't he. He beats whatever is thrown at him.

And you are truly amazing too for dealing with it all so well. I hope that life gives you a Break for a while as you deserve one.

Thinking of you as always.

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dondon33 · 19/01/2013 13:47

Hi JandJ welcome back.
So sorry to hear what you've all been through again after everything was starting to get better after DH big op. It sounds terrifying.
Big YEY to Stubborn buggeryness- I actually ((heart)) your DH, he is so strong and brave.You all are! There's someone or something looking down on him J
I'm so pleased to hear he's getter stronger and feeling better and once again focusing on Bar School, I wish him the very best xxx
I hope now for you that you can resume a comfortable and peaceful normality to your life, YOU deserve a medal J you really do (don't have medal thingies so these will have to do) Wine Thanks ((kisses and hugs))

On a lighter note -I've just had a FGS moment......
Just tried to call to the bank in the UK and the message I've just listened to
"We apologise but due to adverse weather conditions our office is closed until further notice" :)
Seriously?where are they based, Antarctica?
It's just a bit of snow FGS, even if it makes people late for work I'm sure in this day and age there's no need to close offices :)

Have a lovely day all x

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lazarusb · 19/01/2013 14:45

J and J, so glad to hear from you. I'm sorry you've had such a traumatic time, life is never boring with your dh is it?! But I'm very pleased to hear he's on the road to recovery and he's thinking about Bar school again. I hope he gets some useful work experience sorted soon. You are both incredibly brave - life owes you a treat very soon.

dondon dd's school closed at 1.30pm yesterday even though the roads & pavements were clear...we just can't do snow in the UK, not even very light snow!

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NorthernLurker · 19/01/2013 15:17

JandJ - oh my word. I hadn't seen your previous thread and have just caught up with your story now. I work (in admin) in a renal unit and your dh's story is a familiar one to me - though with some dreadful episodes. I cannot believe the nurse ripped his tesio out like that and I can absolutely appreciate how devastated he must have been. You take care of your access, you understand it and then just like it's all buggered up. Awful.
Then clearly recent events have been very hard too. To be honest your thread is a perfect example of just how tough some dialysis patients are. They come through so much. It's awe inspiring.
I gather you are dialysing at home. Has dh heard anything about nocturnal dialysis? I think Guys hospital may have quite a few patients on nocturnal. It's long, slow and gentle(r) and might work well with him and his cardiac problems.
All the best :)

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dondon33 · 19/01/2013 17:02

Lazarusb I completely understand when it's the kiddies Schools, I've had this before with my own DC (dodgy boilers, dodgy windows, potentially dangerous paths, roads if it's forecast for more snow and god forbid the teachers can't get home) but it made me Shock that some centrally heated Barclays call centre somewhere in the UK is using the snow as an excuse. IT'S ONLY SNOW not Arma-blooming-geddon :) I'd be the boss from hell..... Angry
Get into work when you reasonably can, wear extra layers of clothes but I god damn expect to see you at your desk. I myself have had to do it working in a call centre in the middle of nowhere 90 mins journey from my home, more than a few times we were practically snowed in but still had to be there.

The UK just starts a mass panic even when the first sprinklings begin to fall :)

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Homebird8 · 19/01/2013 21:23

Well lovely ladies, it's been a few days since I posted and I'm feeling a little Blush to admit we're away at the beach in a bach (Kiwi holiday home) with my DF and his fiancée who have travelled all the way from the UK to see us. The weather yesterday was warm and sunny and we spent the whole day stooging about on the beach with fishing rods, rock pools, picnics and chatter. My DSs tell me they miss the snow, but I sooooo don't!

J&J so glad to hear from you and, after all the days of sheer worry and exhaustion that I'm sure you have all had, that things are looking better. DH's dream of bar school is getting closer. When I had my big dream of moving to NZ I used to say that as long as every step I could control was in the right direction I would get there eventually. It took a wee while but here we are. Your DH is getting closer Smile. I'm sending you a lassoo for all the hope bubbles, and a jar to see them mount up in, to be swapped for a brand new career and more settled health from now.

Oops, DF has cooked us a full English for breaky (it's 10.20 in the morning so about the right time for being away). I'll pop off and enjoy whilst it's hot and rejoin you later. Brew

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JackieandJudy · 19/01/2013 22:28

Hi all, hope you've all had good day - and thanks for all the nice posts.

Haven't so much as put my nose outside the front door today, feeling very lazy. Home, I'm so envious of the day you had yesterday, it sounds perfect, like something out of a Famous Five book! Why did you want to move to NZ (if you don't mind me asking).

Dondon - I need to put you in touch with my step-dad! His son lives in Pittsburgh and (amongst lots of other dodgy ventures) operates a snow plough business. Step dad is forever opining at length at how pathetic we are with snow in this country, and if we only knew what his son had to deal with we'd realise just how lucky we are etc etc. I have to say, I agree with a lot of what he says, but don't want him to know that (we don't have the best of relationships!)

Northern, thanks for your post and kind words - you don't work in Hammersmith or Watford by any chance?! I think overnight dialysis might have been mentioned at one time, but in the early days dh worked full time so it wasn't a feasible option then. Nowadays, he finds it difficult to sleep on the machine (he's generally a very poor sleeper anyway) so he wouldn't really benefit.

We took ds1 back to uni last week - I almost was more upset than I was in the summer. It does get easier - doesn't it??! Dd has acquired a boyfriend of whom I heartily approve, primarily because he's tidy! Last night I told her she could have some friends round as long as she tidied up after. When everyone, other than the boyfriend, had left, she did her version of clearing up. Boyfriend apparently said "You are joking aren't you, can you not see the mess?!" He then proceeded to take over, and when I inspected this morning, all was pristine! I do seriously like him though, they've been friends for about four years and he's a right nice lad (channelling my beloved grandma there!).

Off to watch the Bourne Supremacy now - that Matt Damon is a nice healthy specimen is he not?! Keep safe all.

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foolonthehill · 19/01/2013 22:53

Smile enjoy

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lazarusb · 20/01/2013 09:40

Good to see things are looking up for you J.

dondon - the frustrating thing is ds's school stayed open the whole day - they operate a policy of 'If we open in the morning, we stay open, but if any parents are concerned about the weather during the day, they can collect them early'. If staff live far away, they can go early too and others step in and fill the gap.
But dd's school are well known for closing in at the first flake, with less than an hours notice and if they call the bus company and they can't arrange extra buses, the girls all have to walk home. It just creates problems when there don't need to be any. If it's heavy, fair enough. I can't imagine that parents' employers are overly happy either!

Oh well, that's my rant for the day. Grin Take care everyone!

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NorthernLurker · 20/01/2013 19:38

No I'm up North JandJ. Actually managing to sleep whilst doing nocturnal dialysis is the key point of course. I think there will be increasing info out there about it though so if I hear anymore on that I'll let you know.

Has dh mentioned his difficulty sleeping to his consultant? There are drugs that can be prescribed that may help, even for things like restless legs which is such an annoying symptom but hardly seems mentioning as it's so 'benign'.

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