My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Hope on a Rope - J and J needs some support please.

190 replies

lazarusb · 02/01/2013 18:38

Hello everyone. J and J has PMed me and asked me to start this thread for her. She is going to try and check in soon. Unfortunately her dh is ill again, I don't know details but she appreciates all messages and support we can give her again. She is so grateful for all the support she received last year and is sorry she didn't make it back onto the thread before it filled up.

So, hope to see all your friendly faces back on here again soon!

OP posts:
Report
lazarusb · 08/04/2013 21:35

Just in case any of you pop in - I just wanted to say how nice it's been getting to know you all & thank you for your support. We've had some ups & downs! I feel like this thread has come to a bit of a halt however...

Would love to stay in contact with any of you. If you'd like to do so, PM me and I'll send you my RL e-mail address.

Take care, all of you...and thanks x Smile

OP posts:
Report
Homebird8 · 26/03/2013 23:36

Hi there Autumn always good when you can drop in.

It's J&J's thread but I think she'd be happy to feel that we're all there for each other. Whatever we're going through we'll find support and friends here.

Report
lazarusb · 26/03/2013 18:29

Thank you Autumn - I have confidence in fits and starts! Right now I just want to get to the end of term and sort out my revision timetable..I only have 3 clear weeks before my exams start and then there's 4 in the same week Hmm Can't say I'm looking forward to that!

Homebird new routines take time but people fall into place soon enough when you get used to it. I understand how your dh will miss the time with your dcs. My time is much reduced with mine since starting Uni and will be even less when I do the Learning Practice Course in London Sad But I keep reminding myself that they'll benefit from us being better off financially, considering holidays, more space in a bigger house etc...and I really value the time we do have together now even more than I did before.

OP posts:
Report
AutumnDreams · 26/03/2013 10:13

Hi everyone,

Yes, do keep this lovely thread going Laz. Oh, and don`t confuse arrogance with confidence. Confidence is good. Have faith in your own judgement, and you will know when you need to ask for guidance.

Thinking of Dondon. although I promise not to keep asking "are you"? .x.

Report
Homebird8 · 26/03/2013 08:43

Hey Dondon, well?!

Great weekend thanks Lazarus. DH started his new job on Monday after wandering round all weekend wondering why he was doing it. He's really going to miss spending time with the DSs every afternoon. I guess we'll work it out in the end but at the moment we're all living a bit one hour to the next whilst we work out the childcare, and the boys work out how many things they have to remember for school and after school activities.

Report
lazarusb · 24/03/2013 10:31

Bumping thread as it fell off my 'I'm on' section! Hope everyone is having a nice weekend Smile

OP posts:
Report
lazarusb · 20/03/2013 18:40

Thanks Homebird. I think your PhD story is quite funny Grin No, I don't have a lot of contact now, I much prefer independent research and study. I still want to go ahead in this area, as it is I only have a fortnight now to find a new subject and get a supervisor if I decide to go elsewhere! I know exactly where I want it to go and how...perhaps the arrogance of middle age?! Wink There are other people I could go to for support if she wasn't available for any reason, it's a big department. You've set my mind at rest so thanks again, I just wasn't sure how much contact was 'normal'. She seemed to think I'd be ok with it.

dondon, hope all is well and you aren't watching the calendar too much!

J and J - if you ever get time to catch up with thread, I hope all is well with you and your family. We are still thinking of you. I hope the Bar School plans are going well.

OP posts:
Report
Homebird8 · 20/03/2013 18:26

I managed to more or less do my PhD with no supervision. My Prof. (supervisor) used to hide behind filing cabinets when he saw me coming. [Grin] I only worked out why after a couple of years. At his previous uni he'd ended up marrying one of his students and she didn't like the idea of him supervising me. It had never come up before in engineering as all the other postgrads were male. I think I saw him to talk about my work about 3 times in 3 years and he wasn't much help then. It's a good job I'm the sort of person who goes her own way. It probably saved a lot of arguments, although he didn't like it when I wouldn't add his name to my academic papers! He'd had no involvement and I didn't see why I should. Oh, the arrogance of youth!

It's more important how you feel about it Lazarus. Do you have a lot of contact now? Will it make a lot of difference? Do you have a clear idea of how things should progress? Is there anyone else in the department who could give you some interim guidance?

Report
lazarusb · 20/03/2013 09:22

Hope everyone is well. A big yellow thing has been in the sky a bit for the last 2 days...not sure what it is. No warmer here though!

Ladies, I need some academic advice - my dissertation supervisor is only going to be on campus once a month...she has academic study leave next year. I found out on Monday. Is that ok do you think? I have no idea if e-mail contact during that time is going to be enough! Any thoughts gratefully received!

OP posts:
Report
Homebird8 · 17/03/2013 18:32

Lazarus 'challenge' Grin

Report
lazarusb · 17/03/2013 12:10

dondon -mm...that sounds like a challenge! Wink

Thank you both for your kind thoughts. My Nan more or less brought me up so it's especially hard. She would have loved the Hairy Bikers and their cheeky sense of humour. They were very funny Smile We had a lovely meal in a fantastic Italian restaurant too, run by an Italian family.

Dh is very much a landscape/wildlife photographer although he has recently developed a penchant for urban exploration & graffiti art. His website seems to veering very much in that direction. He even makes a bit of money now and again although he does a lot of writing for free! Maybe when I eventually get a job we'll head in your direction Homebird - I think I'd be very tempted not to come home! Grin

OP posts:
Report
dondon33 · 17/03/2013 08:12

Grin That made me lol.

No apology needed Wink it would have to be something worse than that to embarrass me :)

Report
Homebird8 · 16/03/2013 23:24

I have to say, some of DH's relatives are better in a photo with their heads chopped off.

I would apologise for embarrassing you Dondon if I weren't enjoying the promise of new life so much. Thanks

Report
dondon33 · 16/03/2013 21:15

Me? Doing? What can you possibly mean Blush :) I'm currently 5 days past ov and NOT well trying not to symptom spot.


Sad Sorry Lazarus it's always tough isn't it? but I hope you enjoyed your study break and night out.

Photography - pah, I can't take a good pic to save my bloody life - I'm the queen of chopping heads off :)

Report
Homebird8 · 16/03/2013 19:36

Now then Lazarus, if there is one thing I am great at it is justification for all forms of unharmful enjoyment. My dad spent many a happy day hour here taking photos of all sorts. He's a mad keen bird watcher and having failed to indoctrinate me as a child now enthuses to his grandsons and takes endless photos (some in focus) of birds and landscapes. Notably there are very few pictures of the children but that's Dad all over. I can guarantee that your DH would find plenty to turn his photographic attentions to should you ever make it this way. The flights are expensive but it really is worth it though you may find yourselves never wanting to go home! If you really want to provide my sons with an aspiration to a German wine business then you might have a fight on your hands. There isn't much to beat the good old Kiwi vino. It makes a very captivating evening companion.

I'll be thinking of your sad anniversary. With some people it just doesn't get any easier does it? Sad A day off and a trip out will revitalise you for the books too. All part of the journey. After my PhD I'm not sure I'm brave enough to do that level of study again. Well done you. Smile

Report
lazarusb · 16/03/2013 11:15

Don't tempt me Homebird! Dh is a keen amateur photographer (he's even won an award in the past!) and would LOVE to visit your neck of the woods...glad I'm not as dim as I thought - I was racking my brain trying to justify young boys getting involved in German wine making Grin

Wet, cold and windy today. It's also the 16th anniversary of my Grandmother dying so I'm a bit Sad. But, Dh, my Mum and I are off to see the Hairy Bikers this evening so that should be good fun. I've given myself a day off the books today as well, first one for a month.

Have a good weekend everyone, have fun dondon Wink

OP posts:
Report
Homebird8 · 16/03/2013 03:09

Thanks for the offer Lazarus. If you're ever passing then feel free to pick the boys up and transport them to as many activities as you can stand! Bloomin' spelling thingy. It should have said 'hockey'!

Good to see you both too Fool and Autumn. That's the thing with MN, you never know who's lurking. Hope more than the temperature is 'going positive' for you Dondon. Don't forget, 'we know what you're doing!' Grin

I'll poke some Thanks up for all of us. And send a bit of summer warmth your ways. Smile

Report
lazarusb · 15/03/2013 22:45

Oh Homebird, that sounds blissful..So glad for your dh, I'll happily do the school run for you (if only)! Good luck for your boys too, what amazing talent they must have. Sorry to be dim but what is hock season? Fingers crossed for that too Smile

dondon I shouldn't moan really, it could be a lot worse. I think it's my French ancestral blood yearning for the Mediterranean sunshine!

fool and Autumn, lovely to see you both again. I hope things have settled down for you a bit fool. Autumn, I hope you are ok too.

Nearly Easter!

OP posts:
Report
Homebird8 · 15/03/2013 20:56

I almost feel embarrassed to chip in. The summer here has been amazing. We haven't had rain since Christmas and daily temperatures are a sunny and comfortable 26ish. Even at night it's only 15ish. Not so good for the dairy farmers who have run out of feed and the grass is brown.

DS1 had a wonderful time on his school camp this week and has come back with all his clothes that wonderful dust colour you get when the ground is cracked and dry. Bring on the rain and the dust will turn to mud just in time for hock season which the boys have trials for tomorrow.

We're also unexpectedly deep into opera here too. Both boys have been persuaded not by me I might add to audition for the NZ Opera. Big one for a singing part in Noah's Fludde. And little one to be Sorrow in Madame Butterfly. I'm not even very keen on opera! I've a feeling I may be watching the first performance, if they get the parts, and then MumsNetting in the dressing rooms for the rest.

Other news on the home front. DH got his job and starts on Monday. Now, can any of you have the children after school for me? Flights could be a little issue I fear.

Best wishes for all your endeavours lovely ladies and hope the thaw starts soon. Thanks

Report
dondon33 · 15/03/2013 18:04

Hi Autumn - that weather sounds as bad as where I am, except the flowers here, have so far, thought better of poking their heads above ground yet. I'm sure it won't be long though. We've got - 13 overnight then -1 tomorrow then after that were going + :)
Hope your Daffs recover soon x

Report
AutumnDreams · 15/03/2013 15:43

Much love and warm wishes to you all. So cold here again. This winter has seemed interminable. We keep getting glimpses of spring, then back to snow, rain and gloom. My poor bloody daffs dont know if theyre coming or going......and neither do I!

Report
dondon33 · 15/03/2013 15:30

Hi all,

Brrr sounds awful Lazarus (the housebound part didn't though) :) glad it's starting to clear.
Here - apparently from Sunday - it's the end of winter and it's horrid weather :) :) I hope so, but then as it gets closer to summer I'll start whinging again....I love a hot 2 week blast of scorching sunshine but can't manage 3 months in 30+ degree heat, with no air con :@ I'll surely melt.
My favourite months here are april/may and sept/oct.

Thanks fool hope you're well x

Have a great weekend everyone x

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

foolonthehill · 15/03/2013 13:57

Thanks for everyone...to cheer us up

Report
lazarusb · 15/03/2013 13:51

Sorry, been chocka for the last few days but it feels like there's a glint of light at the end of the tunnel (hope it's not a train!).

Snow has gone here but we were housebound for a day. I couldn't get to Uni so did a bit of study and fell asleep while dh and the dcs amused themselves Smile Felt like I'd had a holiday when I woke up! Still very cold here and wet, I can't wait to feel some warmth from the sun, I really dislike winter, especially when it drags on so long!

Hope everyone is well, have a nice weekend.

OP posts:
Report
dondon33 · 11/03/2013 15:50

Same here - snowing AGAIN!! :( but apparently the end is near - Spring officially on it's way from Friday in Poland :)

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.