Doesn't feel positive about the new year

[glitternanny]

New year started with a row.
We were in bed last night by 9:30
Neither of us has wishes each other hny
We had a massive row in November and this is meant to be us giving it 120%

Firstly, nobody can give more than 100%, and even that is probably exhausting.

Do you feel worse about the timing or the row itself?

How is it this morning?

Sorry to be flippant, but what does it mean aven givin it all?

It's very vague as well as unrealistic, and set for failure.

Do you have particular aspect you needed to work on?

What are the rows about, why are they so bad?

"even giving"

(may pod must have an accent, innit?)

Sorry didn't give much info. The timing of the row I think means more. It was over me re-starting the housework 'log' which is something I suggested we introduce so we loose 'but I do more hw/childcare than you'. Apparently I've only started doing it again because I'm doing more at the moment! To reinforce my point. Ignoring the fact I only stopped when I was I'll and this piece of paper hasn't been hidden over the past week it's been where it always is.

Guess I'm nervous about this year rather than looking forward to it. Could b the year it all ends.

I also need to be less argumentative, but today it felt like he was attacking me.

And we need to be more caring, more interested in each others lives etc etc

Ah, housework.

Well, it's sad when you have to resort to logs, mostly because it usually reflects someone not pulling their weight and it's that person usually resisting the log.

But it seems that there's not much love going around, if you are not interested in each other's lives.

And particularly personal attacks.

What you 'need to be' is more compatible with each other and less antagonistic. All couples have things they disagree on. If there is a problem with the way housework and childcare is divided up and the 'log' you suggested isn't working for him, he should put forward his own solution for making sure everyone pulls their weight equally. Rows and silent sulks get no-one anywhere. Rather than coming up with more ideas that can be shot down, put the ball in his court, perhaps?

The log is merely tick the box to show what you've done, apparently I never see what he does, only what he doesn't do.

It's not a rota.

Whatever the system, if it's not working it's not working. But the onus is on him to come up with a better system for ensuring equality. Easy for someone to take the 'I never agreed to this anyway' (childish) approach when the feel something is being imposed. If it's their initiative, they can't do that. Box smart rather than banging heads...