Crotch grabbing, jelly nailing, double-quick portions and man parts floating in a pear tree...dating thread 33 survived Christmas so bring on NYE!

[OhLittleTownofWesternWind]

Here we are!

bantdid you send a text to shoegirl while on a date with cabin asking if she would like to see you in lederhosen? You rock!

48 relief. Hope things continue to improve.

velvet I don't know what to make of it to be honest. It just seems so sporadic and clandestine to me.

The floating gonad made me laugh.

yoga the sparkly sounds lush. Glad you got a massage.

snape you get tons of messages. Both sound worthy of a look. How do you feel now ex has gone?

Well, texting has got mildly flirty with the fireman. We are meeting up next week. We speak every other day and text every day, light hearted stuff. I really like his humour and demeanour. I'm less thrilled with his food phobia as I am a very adventurous eater.

Currently chatting to a writer on pof who seems ok.

Have had loads of dross and a couple who took unabridge with me. Lots of vanishers too

NoMore I hope you're right re the 'xx' thing, I just can't tell any more. that's what 4 years of OD does, I never expect men to stay interested in me once they've met me, because in 4 years its only happened once.

Scatty all sounds good re the fireman. Can you get over the eating issue do you think? Or maybe you can persuade him to try different foods?

Spaceman wasn't sporadic until this phone thing, he was texting me first thing in the morning, last thing at night and most of the day in between. That was before we'd met of course...

Velvet wise words on here. Meanwhile you know where the fish is.

Banta sounds great

Bunny they've seen it all before.

Velvet- didn't you say his phone was out of action? And now he has gone somewhere to get Internet access to message you. That is a brilliant sign. Try not to put all your eggs in one basket but at the same time don't be too negative. Keep yourself busy with other stuff. You don't need a man to complete you, they just add to the brilliance xxx I know it's not cool to kiss on mn but you need some. And that is 3 kisses because I think you are cool!!

And because your self doubt reminds me of my own!!!

Bant and everyone I'm obv no authority on anything (30s, single, hanging around here for tips, etc), but I've never had a date over a few hours that didn't end in a smooch of some description*.

If either of us weren't interested we'd have made our excuses by then.

*correction I did once with a Muslim girl who brought a female shaperone and was lovely but not really putting out smoochie signals!

Question: if you're planning to see someone for a 2nd date do you usually kiss them on the 1st?

Well I dont think it was specifically to message me, more like he's at a friends and using their internet, but I suppose he didn't have to send me a message, I wouldn't have known otherwise.

Hopefully he'll have full use of his phone in the next 24 hours, and we'll see what happens by text. I'm at work tomorrow anyway so that will keep me busy! And thanks for the xxx

velvet sorry I'd forgotten he'd been in constant touch...now I remember. I hope it comes good. I envy you with the lashes and heals. I'd love to be glamorous. My new year resolution is to get some make up on my face before I get to work. Usually it takes me about 3 hours to get something on my face.

Fireman is nice. He is witty. He describes his food issue as pathetic. I don't know how it will influence me as I've never met anyone so adverse to spice. We will see.

I never kiss on the first ... on the 2nd I allow a peck on the cheek...3rd maybe a kiss on the lips.... 4th...Ill ride em like a rodeo steer! Yeeeeehaaah!

scatty is this the cheese phobic man?

ike that reads like a Craig David song!

Ike - you are soooo funny!! Almost making me lol and I never lol!

Haha reaaaalllly!!! Bloody hell ...but I didnt mention any icecream flavours ..Ill leave that till the 5th date!

Oh No more someone else nearly lolled further up thread too!

Bunny the short answer to your question is : maybe.

A lengthier answer: it often depends where/when date is. For ex, I've had lots of dates which are drinks in pubs, bars etc. You get a bit tipsy, it's late, while you're waiting for a taxi theres often a bit of kissing (if you havent already done this in the pub earlier).

Daytime dates (or sober evening ones) are a different kettle of fish. Unless you're a naturally very flirty/confident person, or you have a thunderbolt moment, it often feels too awkward to kiss, also the logistical issue, most people dont want to snog someone they've just met in broad daylight at the local Costa!

My latest (daytime) date I kissed on the cheek but not an actual snog. I do very much want to see him again though :)

Scatty glamour is overrated! I'm not a patch on my mum, who was naturally glamorous. I have to spend a long time on hair and makeup to be able to leave the house without scaring the locals

See how it goes with the fireman. Sometimes food phobias are hugely deep-seated (one friend had a DP who was limited to about 10 foods, which was ridiculous) but others are more open to change - another friend's DP only ate bland food when they met, but more due to habit than phobia. He does now after going different places with her etc eat a greater variety (though I expect would still prefer a roast dinner to anything spicy/exotic)

ike you are spot on!

juliette cheese man belonged to someone else. He wouldn't touch cheese. Fireman is adverse to all spicy or 'different' food. On our first meeting we ate. I shovelled down a plate of noodles with chilli like I'd never eaten before while he ate maybe a quarter of his bland curry. He is very thin. I dunno.

I usually kiss them on both cheeks when I say goodbye. Takes me a while to be ready for a snog but once I am there, night, day, wherever we are nothing would make me hold back I was ready . Except on the tube, that is just gross.

Thanks velvet that makes sense.

I tend towards being a smoocher (or smoochee), and would find it weird if someone was interested in seeing me again but not in a goodnight kiss.

But my dates have invariably been after dark, so I can see how it'd be different at the local deli.

yeah generally a date lasting three hours or so, there would be a kiss at the end - but as alluded to previously on the thread, it depends if that moment comes up. It was a beer date, rather than a wine date. I'm not sure if that makes sense. We got on really well, there was lots of eye contact, lots of talking, but it wasn't romantic.

We played pool together at the beginning (her town, her choice) and I was kind of enjoying standing back and watching her bend over the pool table, seemingly for my benefit. Then we went on somewhere else, talked, had more beer, talked more, we got on really well.

She's from a different culture - Indian, not Muslim, so there is a bit of a cultural divide, although not an uncomfortable one as she pretty much grew up in this country. Kissing is more reserved in Indian cultures, I know that much.

Still, I asked her if she wanted to do it again, she said yes, Tuesday. So that's good. She may turn around and back out, I've lost my beard after all and am feeling a bit out of sorts and bereft without it, but she is cool.

ShoeGirl has to wear the lederhosen. Although now she thinks I'm some sort of pervert. She is really pretty lovely from the pictures though, and funny. Shame she's not free till next week. I don't like tr*ying to date two women at the same time, even though I know it's only realistic given the number of vanishers.

still, that will potentially make me a vanisher, won't it?

actually, it's 4 women. Crap. Christmas is bringing them all out in hordes and I'm still on my own tomorrow night..

I'm giving him a go velvet. I've met so many men who are charming, super confident and too forward that to meet someone who is genuinely polite, nice and respectful is good, food aside. Glam is never overrated.

the food phobia is, if you'll pardon the expression, a red herring. Internet dating exposes you to so many people via email and messages, so many dates, that you're overwhelmed with choice and any small issue can become a show stopper. You look at all these profiles, wondering which ones to message, and you start thinking 'no, too short, too jowly, not jowly enough, big nose, small nose' - not consciously maybe but when deciding who to message, you look at the pictures and discard because they're not the right fit for your ideal, whatever that is.

Then you look at profiles. No degree. Delete. Prefers cats. Delete. 5'7. Delete.

I'm the same of course, we all are when choosing who to message, or who to respond to. So we get into this mindset of 'reject, reject, reject'.

Food is a showstopper if you're a chef. Other than that, see if you can make them more adventurous long term. If you met in RL it wouldn't be an issue, would it?

Stop with stealth bragging Bant okaaaaay! (Ike watches the tumbleweed roll past in windy wales)

Bant Tuesday from Sunday is a sign she must like you otherwise she would have been more likely to say 'end of the week' or something.

NYE is totally overrated and having sat through many nye when single in a pub, the prospect of dodging drunks at midnight whilst desperately hoping there would be someone nice to kiss is one I'm now happy to forgo. Even worse is when all the couples kiss and then realise you're still there and the husbands get sent over to kiss you .

No, just me and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy.