I feel awful about this. I've been with my BF for just over a year. We both have grown DC's. Neither of us was OW/OM. We met online and the chemistry was instant (physically). We also share a sense of humour and many common interests musically and so on. We both have a strong sense of family values. Early on in the relationship he came on pretty strong and was very, very charming, a gentleman - spoiled me rotten in fact. I loved it, apart from my ex h he was my only lover in over 20 years. I went headlong in, as did he.
So. I moved a few months ago. I now have my own house. He moved in bit by bit. He has left his life where he lived, including his family, and his DC's have coped with the changes differently. One is fine. One is ok (ish) and the other's are furious. He has decided he won't waste any more time trying to please them. I try and encourage him not to give up and to stay in contact. He won't be seeing them at Christmas as they rowed when he saw them last.
I work full-time in a demanding and stressful job. He hasn't worked properly since I met him. He is self employed and the work just dried up. His house is just sold and the equity will be divided. He spends all day at home. We spend every day together. If I go to the shop he comes with me. If he goes to the shop he wants me to go with him. We sit, sometimes, in the evening and I am bored to tears. Money is an issue. We don't share the same ways of managing money. Because I know I'm not very good with it I plan, budget, want to save and so on. His is very much a spend it when you have it philosophy.
I am worried that I have made a mistake and I should have slowed things down and given the relationship a chance to grow more naturally. That's what I wanted and I never put any pressure on him to move here (but neither, sadly, did I challenge him enough when he literally turned up late one night with his stuff). I talked with him about this, but it's clear that this isn't going to go away unless I take full responsibility for the finances, and perhaps for other things too. I don't want to.
I know I share in the responsibility for the way things are. There are times when I look at him and I'm so glad we're together and other's (such as now) when I yearn for some space.