Sleepovers

[mylifeagain]

I know every relationship is different but i'd really like to get a consensus of opinion as having not dated much I don't know whether I'm being a bit stand offish or normal

I've been seeing someone for almost six months now and during that time slept over about three times when kids haven't been around, as it's coming upto christmas I'm thinking the likelihood of staying over might be increased - drinks and all that. I'm just not sure I want that especially if kids are around.

Suppose what I'm aking is what's normal around six months, what did you do?

Whose kids and whose house ? I'm not sure exactly what your re asking

What's 'normal' is different for everyone. If you don't want to engage in sex sleepovers when your/his dc are around, there's no reason why you should feel constrained to do so either with or without alcoholic incentives.

Odd as this may seem, to the vast majority of the world's population the 25 December is just another day and it's not invested with the sentiment we bestow on it. The festive season will soon be over and we'll be back to 'normal' in a few weeks' time

It's likely to be at my house with my kids around.

Just asking really what other people do at this stage, i've read some posts where long before 6 months there are regular sleepovers as in once / twice a week so don't know if it's just me who's just being overly cautious

Thanks izzy, I'm not talking sex (never with the kids around), quite simply sleeping over

I'd say it depends. Have your kids met him/spent time with him, comfortable around him? Last thing you want is to make your kids uncomfortable in their own home.

If you are not sure you want that, don't do it yet

Yes they've met him and do like him and to be honest I don't think they'd mind at all. It is something i'd discuss with them first anyway (late teens), I think its just me that would feel uncomfortable

Is he suggesting staying over?

No he's not, it just feels as though this should be the next stage and so the reason for the question really, is this next stage around six months for most people?

If your children are late teens, have met him, and know you are in a relationship with him then why on earth are you worrying about this?

I'm sure if your children are teens then over the years you have given advice about getting into situations, feeling able to say no, not being swayed by what everyone else does (so often exaggerated anyway), doing what they are comfortable with... see where I'm going with this? If you are setting the pace, you are in control, you don't have to worry about what others do at 6 months and beyond. If you think your boyfriend is going to have trouble accepting that, then maybe you'll want to take a breather, think what this means.

I think you've thought it through and will probably do what you think is right for your family. My Bil moved in with his gf and her ds after knowing her four months. I'd always thought he was very sensible til he did that. Six months for a 'sleepover' sounds about right to me.