Is this is cheating on me?

[amy175]

my oh has been very secretive for months. Texting all times of day and late and night. facebooking intill gone midnight. everytime i go near he either closes the browser or turns his phone over so i can't see. on the way home from his works do on friday night he stopped the car at 11.30 to text while he thought i was asleep. Then Sunday morning i see him hiding his phone in the bed under the covers texting. I went mad and got very upset. i demanded he told me who he was texting. he denied texting and when i demanded to see the texts he said it wasn't any of my business. he went to the loo and deleted all the texts. i got very upset and demanded he tell me who he was texting. eventually he told me it was two women he was "he was helping and supporting them through hard situations and that they didn't want him to tell me what so he couldn't show me". I think this is cheating, even if it is just emontinally. he says i shouldn't be upset and he doesn't see he has done anything wrong. AIBU?

If its two innocent 'friends' I would be asking to meet them. Just so I know who they are-to put your mind at rest.

And I would take his phone until I found out everything I could. He clearly isn't going to tell you anything. And you can't make a decision about the rest of your life if you don't know the facts.

So no-one believes his story that it was all innocent then? Am I a sucker to want to believe it?

For counselling see your GP and/or ask Women's Aid about The Freedom Programme in your area.

You sound lovely, and he sounds like a shit of the highest order x

Also, contact your benefits office/Citizens Advice Bureau to ask about financial help for you to manage should you split

knowledge is power sweetheart, so start your education tomorrow but don't tell him a thing as I am fearful he will get nasty

I want to rewind time and go back to the loving boyfriend I had before I married him

You both sound unhappy to me, can you get some time togeather to have a really good talk about where and what you both feel?

He may be cheating, he may not be but you really sound like there is no communication at home.

Got to go he is coming thanks everyone x

Night, flower. Take care of yourself.

you want to believe his lies, because you love him

does his behaviour make him trustworthy, do you think ?

loving someone who disrespects you is only going to bring heartbreak, so time to get real

we will be here if you want to talk again

Yes look after yourself. Don't doubt yourself, you are right here.

As AF said, once is too many times. Please look after yourself. There will always be someone here to talk to - but you are the only one that can make the decision...and you are worth looking after mate. You are.

Yeah, he's having an affair. I was also 'emotionally unavailable'. He didn't use those exact words, but that's pretty much what he meant. It's how he justified cheating on me.

The "I'm supporting someone at work through some personal problems" is the line my dad used on my mum when he was having an affair.

Your husband is lying to you. I'm so sorry. There seems to be a lot of it about at the moment

And I wanted to believe all the shit he was saying too. It's normal. It's so hard to get your head around the new reality that you'll believe just about anything to begin with.

I'm only 5 weeks down the line and i already feel better and stronger.

I got lots of great support on MN so keep posting

Thanks everyone x

Me and my husband are always telling each other other people's secrets. We know that each other wouldn't mention it to anyone else.

You are not a sucker for wanting to believe him, it's normal. You love him, of course you don't want your marriage to break up. But it does sound like he is cheating on you.

He may have been a nice boyfriend, but he is a violent, lazy cheat of a husband.

Lo everyone,

We're moving this to relationships in a mo.

And then she finds out he was buying her a great Christmas present!

not much chance of that, i have to buy my own and often wrap them too :(

Oh, Amy try to be nicer to yourself. The thread has moved to Relationships. There are really clever and knowledgeable people who post here so I'm hoping you can at least find out what to do if you do decide you've had enough.

He Is A Liar.

So sorry OP. There is no way a married man should be acting like that.

Cunt.

I hope you get this sorted, don't put up with any shit. All things transparent - you should know all his passwords, not to check up on him; but so that trust can be maintained after he's abused it so badly.

GRRRRR

problem is he doesnt think he has done wrong

No he knows full well what he has done is wrong BUT he is hoping that by "playing" innocent you will believe him.

He is trying to manipulate you into you feeling guilty about what you are feeling and thinking about him.

Bottom line is he is STILL a liar

amy, love, it doesn't matter whether he admits he is in the wrong

if you think it is wrong for you (and I would agree with you) then it is wrong, and you do not have to tolerate it

he sounds horrible, your situation sounds grim and I wonder what it is you get out of this relationship