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Original poster

Men who don't watch porn

999 replies

FBworry · 10/12/2012 19:40

I do not believe all men watch porn.

However I wonder why they dont with it now being the "norm"?

Was there never any interest in the first place? Has it lost its shine? Is it a for feminist reasons?

Or is it more of a case of resisting temptation? As in they do want to watch but guilt and/or morals stop them? Fear of being caught?

We live in a time when we are constantly fed the message all men watch porn so nobody ever discusses those that don't watch it.

OP posts:
Andula · 13/12/2012 14:31

no, I didn't say it was unacceptable, I said I consider it to be a form of slavery (esp for those women who are given an allowance by their partners - have a look at the many posts on this website if you don't agree).

Andula · 13/12/2012 14:33

Offred, on the contrary, a lot of this discussion as been about the affect of porn on wider society and I would argue that Reveal magazine has a lot more to answer for.

I did say it wasn't relevant to the post so fair enough if you don't want to discuss it but you kind of said it didn't bother you which I'm quite shocked by, considering your stance on this issue.

Offred · 13/12/2012 14:44

No I didn't. I said it did bother me but that i am the more extreme end in though and action about what bothers me and if someone else wasnt bothered it didnt invalidate their objection to porn because it is a different industry. Whether it did or didn't bother me was irrelevant to a discussion about the value of a different industry. I don't see the point in talking about other industries. Is it really the only argument you can make "well other things are worse IMO" so what? How is that an argument for porn?

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 13/12/2012 14:45

I'm sorry, I just can't take you seriously after that. Fucking hilarious!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 13/12/2012 14:45

Andula....your attempt to change the subject and whip up a bit of froth by insulting sahm's is rather transparent

Offred · 13/12/2012 14:51

So far then the pro-porn argument is; "I like it" "pornstars love porn because they talk on twitter about loving porn" "not all women are forced" "men and women are both paid so that means they are equal" "porn liberated women to enjoy sex" -that is the most ridiculous one IMO and "other industries are worse IMO"...

Yeah... Not convinced...

ClaireBuckler · 13/12/2012 14:52

For what its worth (and I haven't read all the posts), I agree with your original sentiment Andula, please correct me if I got it wrong.... but you said most men do watch porn and they lie about it to their partners!

Its the same as the men who say that they are not bothered about having sex more than once a week...... lol.

Offred · 13/12/2012 14:53

Yeah "lol"Hmm

Andula · 13/12/2012 14:53

Blame - I'm happy to know you ever took me seriously :)

Any - it wasn't that at all, it's their/your choice, I'm just saying what other women have said about their own lives on other threads.

Offred · 13/12/2012 14:56

Most men watch porn and lie about it is an irrelevant statement on this thread.

People are not stupid, they know when they are being lied to.

They also know their own partners.

It doesn't add anything to a discussion about men who don't watch porn.

If the op wanted to discuss men who lie about watching porn then maybe she'd have asked about that.

Andula · 13/12/2012 14:56

Claire, thanks, my original post was a direct and genuine response to the OP which has been pounced upon. I'm happy to stand my ground though, beats working for a living :)

Andula · 13/12/2012 14:57

Offred, FYI....

"I do not believe all men watch porn.

However I wonder why they dont with it now being the "norm"?

Was there never any interest in the first place? Has it lost its shine? Is it a for feminist reasons?

Or is it more of a case of resisting temptation? As in they do want to watch but guilt and/or morals stop them? Fear of being caught?

We live in a time when we are constantly fed the message all men watch porn so nobody ever discusses those that don't watch it"

I'm afraid your last post is entirely wrong

Andula · 13/12/2012 14:59

the point myself, and quite a few others were making is, in some cases those men that say they don't are lying because of the fear of the guilt or fear of reaction

Offred · 13/12/2012 15:00

It reads more like a paranoid defence of your position though andula...

Andula · 13/12/2012 15:00

are you suggesting that anyone who has ever fallen for a lie is an idiot? in that case we're all idiots

Offred · 13/12/2012 15:02

No, I'm saying lots of people have to tolerate things they know to be lies because someone is not ready to tell the truth.

Do you know that "the norm" doesn't mean "everyone"...

Offred · 13/12/2012 15:03

The point I'm making is that porn being "the norm" equally means men would be inclined to lie about enjoying or using porn if they don't...

Offred · 13/12/2012 15:05

I don't get the relevance of your FYI post btw. Just because you went on to discuss (if you can call it that) men who don't watch porn doesn't make the statement about men who lie about porn relevant btw.

Andula · 13/12/2012 15:10

Just had an interesting chat to my male colleague about this thread, anyone want to know what he said?

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 13/12/2012 15:12

not particularly.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh · 13/12/2012 15:14

Know: I'm sorry you had a bad time in the sex industry and feel bad about having worked in it. But if other people are treating you as though it was a shameful thing to do and you are 'tainted' then they are judgemental fuckwits who should be ignored. What you did wasn't wrong - you needed money, you earned it. You didn't steal it or defraud anyone, you didn't act out of malice towards others. I wish you a happy positive future.

One reason why some people who work in the sex industry become unhappy about their participation is the way they are stigmatized by others as victims, liars, mentally ill, addicts no matter what they say.

BelaLugosisShed · 13/12/2012 15:18

Claire, you're doing a spectacular job of showing yourself as ignorant and foolish.
You must not be a regular on the relationships boards, otherwise you would have seen the countless threads from worried and upset women whose husbands aren't interested in sex.
Please tell me an educated woman like yourself doesn't buy into the "men are insatiable beasts and must have their sexual needs met at all costs" bullshit?

You really can't expect to be taken seriously when you come out with such rubbish.

BelaLugosisShed · 13/12/2012 15:21

Let me guess what he said Andula - we're all a bunch of deluded harpies whose husbands are all secretly using porn behind our backs? (or words to that effect) Wink

BlameItOnTheChoirOfAngels · 13/12/2012 15:22

I must have married a freak, Bela. he doesnt watch porn, doesnt mind that we cant have sex at the moment... AND he can control himself. amazing.

some posters have a really low opinion of men, and I thought it was uptight feminists who were supposed to be man-haters

Andula · 13/12/2012 15:28

Bela, no, he said that most men do watch it, especially when their partners sex drive diminishes.