OK. LETS GET THIS OFF OUR CHESTS .... if you COULD write a letter to the OW .....

[stoopidCUPID]

.... what would you say?

OK - I SHOULD STATE HERE THAT I HAVE NAME CHANGED FOR THIS ONE.

Now, yes, I know in RL this is a real NO NO - but my thinking is, hey, why dont we all offload on MN and get this out of our systems?

Personally, I just wouldnt go there, in real terms, if you see what I mean - I just wouldnt post that letter/send that email.

But boy oh boy it would be nice to just vent my feelings and basically just say piss off - but without the explitives! lol

(Im actually off to bed right now but I promise to add mine later this weekend)

So, come on everyone - VENT VENT VENT VENT

[Ormiriathomimus]

Dear T.

I'm not going to yell at you or have some sort of Eastenders-type showdown. I just want to ask one question -why? You knew that he wouldn't leave me for you. You knew he still loved me - you knew that because that was why you finally stopped the relationship (well - you pretended to at least). So why even bother in the first place? All this mess and pain and upheaval -for what?

And we could have been friends too as I liked you and H said you like me. I'm a good shoulder to cry on and I'm good at offering support. But you blew that.

Oh, and good luck with mc - personally I wouldn't bother. You'd been married for 6m when you and H started your affair so there doesn't seem to be much to fix. But hey ho.

Hope you find a way to be happier in the future than you have been in the past.

x

[Ormiriathomimus]

PS. Thanks for chucking a bomb into the middle of our marriage. We've had to work so hard at picking up the pieces it's beginning to look better than before.

[Abitwobblynow]

Dear OW,

whilst I was very angry with you once, I realise it isn't about you at all. That when the ICs said without hesitation 'she [ie, you] is irrelevant', they were telling it like it is.

I really understand that I can't point fingers at you, because in fact I fell for the same charm, the same conviction that I was special, the same intensity. So how can I blame you for making the same MISTAKE that I made?

It's him, not you. He was the one who chose to step outside his commitment for a feel good trip. He was the one who decided to live this shallowly and without integrity. He is the one who doesn't mind what twat person is making him feel good, as long as he is feeling good. He is the one who treated me, and you, as objects. He is the one who runs away from issues he causes, because he is the one with poor coping skills. He is the one who doesn't know how to process emotions in a responsible way. He is the one who is unable to own either his feelings or his culpability.

It isn't you, and me being angry with you is a misdirection of the real problem.

But, if you can get him out of my house, you can have him. I think you should have the ecstasy of his presence, 24/7.

When I asked my IC as you were told, everything is my fault , so why is he still here? The answer came back 'because you haven't left yet'.

He is a first class, grade A twat, don't you want him?

[Slippersox]

Fidelia.Loving your post.Could have written it myself to OW .Only difference our DCs young adults and DH wasn't saying negative things about me, but we were going through a tough time with business and family health problems and OW made herself so 'helpful' to DH.Her 20 plus texts a day and massive flirting and flattery must have seemed so supportive ,whilst he was gradually withdrawing his support from me and our marriage.'you weren't the cause of our problems,but you made then so much worse' especially strikes a chord.
Don't need to write her a letter.Told her to her face what I thought of her and their self indulgent behaviour.Not sure I'd recommend that but helped at the time.