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Original poster

Would you go back to your twice cheating DH?

72 replies

mrstootough · 06/04/2006 14:37

If you found out that you DH had been cheating on your after a very rocky relationship, then you decide to make a go of things to find out another 6 months down the line he is still sleeping with the same woman. Would you take him back?
What if he promises it is over this time and she is no longer working in the same company?

OP posts:
ggglimpopo · 06/04/2006 14:39

NO. First time he cheated I divorced him, and would do the same again should the occasion arise (god forbid). But there are more tolerant or open minded mumsnetters who have tried - and sometimes succeeded - the forgiving and forgetting option.

Original poster
mrstootough · 06/04/2006 14:40

Is it wrong to try and make a go for the kids sake?

OP posts:
acnebride · 06/04/2006 14:41

Quite possibly, but I'm a bit rubbish.

I would ring The Woman and ask to meet on neutral territory. Might as well try and find out if she really has changed jobs. Or get a private detective to find out.

acnebride · 06/04/2006 14:42

wrong to try and make a go of it?

of course it's not wrong.

horrible time for you.

Original poster
mrstootough · 06/04/2006 14:43

She has changed jobs and I caught them on Sat and had a go at her. Lucky she did not press charges

OP posts:
Original poster
mrstootough · 06/04/2006 14:43

Can u ever fully trust again? I wonder.

OP posts:
red37 · 06/04/2006 14:44

Tbh I divorced 1st Dh for cheating, I would'nt of even considered taken him back, I could never trust him again.
The decision lies with you, you have to look at things from all angles.
I haven,t looked back since, married for nearly ayear now to dh no 2, he is great and he knows my feelings on this.
Good luck!

schneebly · 06/04/2006 14:47

Once I reckon I could forgive but twice? the same woman? No, but everyone is different and if you can see yourself trusting him again it might be worth a shot.

desperateSCOUSEwife · 06/04/2006 14:49

No as he would have no stonks left.
You deserve better than that
good luck
xxx

red37 · 06/04/2006 14:49

Its a horrid time for you- are your family supportive?

Bozza · 06/04/2006 14:53

I think the second time would definitely be it for me.

NomDePlume · 06/04/2006 14:54

No. I think I could forgive after the first affair, but he second would be the nail in the coffin. Sorry Sad

mrstootough · 06/04/2006 14:55

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FioFio · 06/04/2006 14:56

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red37 · 06/04/2006 14:57

do they know about second time?

Original poster
mrstootough · 06/04/2006 14:58

He is glad it is over. Says he had feelings but did not love her. says his kids mean more to him.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrstootough · 06/04/2006 14:59

kids seen them both in the hotel room he was locked in the bathroom. He was raging I had brought the kids up to the room.

OP posts:
FioFio · 06/04/2006 15:02

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Carmenere · 06/04/2006 15:07

I'm sorry I really feel for you and I know you were angry but bringing the kids up to the room where their dad is being unfaithful is VERY wrong.
What did you hope to achieve?

NotActuallyAMum · 06/04/2006 15:15

Not a chance

I couldn't forgive once, never mind twice

crazydazy · 06/04/2006 15:20

No would never forgive because I firmly believe if they do it once they will do it again. My Dad cheated on my Mum when I was 4 whilst she was pregnant with my middle sister, he married someone else and then came back to my Mum when I was 12, she then got pregnant again and he left her again to be with another woman. We then found out that he had two women pregnant at the same time!!!

So as you can see I have seen first hand that once a cheater always a cheater and have always vowed that it wouldn't happen to me. I made it very clear to DP in the beginning that if he did the dirty on my I would do a Lorena Bobbitt on him. Nuff said Grin

redbull · 06/04/2006 15:22

oh come on carmenere give mrstootough a breackAngry yes it wasnt a good idea but the poor womans life is in tatters at the moment proberbly isnt thinking rationally at present.
once things calm down she will be beating her self up about it never mind the rest of us, no one can judge her more than herself.
i bet she has come on mumsnet for a bit of moral support and cheery up like we all do when our lives are c~~P.
sorry rant over Grin i for one think you should kick the low life out for good obviously doesnt deserve you at all.

Carmenere · 06/04/2006 15:32

I'm sorry if what I said hurt you mrstootough, I was simply shocked that you would do that. Fwiw I wouldn't take him back, it's not the other woman (or where she is working) that is the problem, it's him. Does he deserve another chance? You have already given him one and he f*cked that up.

jmum6 · 06/04/2006 15:38

No sorry wouldn't take him back, especially if it was with the same women. It sounds like they are too emotionally involved. If it was just sex maybe, but couldn't forgive an emotional attachment.

Could you ever be happy with him? Wouldn't you always be wondering where he is and who he's with?

scoobytwo · 06/04/2006 16:45

yes it can work
give it another go
xx