Well purse my fanjo, giraffes in wheelchairs and submariners going dowwwnnnn - the dating thread hits 30!

[JulietteMontague]

Off we go...

lulu you're grieving the lie. The promise that you wild grow old together and that he wasn't who you though the was. That does make you an idiot for believing- hope is an amazing thing...it makes him a duplicitous, abusive half-man.

It's ok to feel sad! but it's better to be awesome

We don't know we another very well, I am SO PROUD of you for getting through mediation and shoving his face in it and getting on with things and having a good life. That means he isn't winning. :)

It's all a grieving process as much for the life you thought you'd have together as anything else. Terribly, terribly sad.

DOESN'T make you an idiot. Sorry, stuffed with cold meds and can't coordinate brain and fingers,

HOLDTHEFRONTPAGE!!!

I am being hit on on facebook by someone I've never actually met, but we've similar politics and get on ok. He's quite hot actually. I might have just told him that.

You might have told him? You wanton hussy, you :)

Thank you everyone, I haven't been on this thread very long but I find the support of people who understand the complex emotions you go through a great support and confirmation that you are not alone makes a huge difference and he is most definitely a cock!

Shit. Shitabrick. He wants to meet up.

Do it, do it, do it

Oooh snape sounds like you've pulled!

Go Snape!

Hope you're feeling better now, Lulu. You know you are so much better than him.

Good evening. Feeling a bit low. This time last week I had not long left the Half Italion Stallion and didn't think anything was wrong. I still think I screwed it up. Came on too strong, frightened him off. I still catch myself using a turn of phrase we developed between us. It's so pathetic. I knew him for just over a month and I miss him. I doubt here's any chance we can get back together. He's told me about three times via text and email that its over, I am just in denial.

He is actually ...damn fit. Blonde dreadlocks. A Few tattoos. Very Eco lefty. He was a friend of a 'friend' (who I eventually deleted for being one of these men's rights oddballs) who stuck around and we've always liked each others posts and photos etc.

Somewhat alarmingly he lives in the coastal town that voldemorts lesbian ex and newgirl live in. Hey. We could double-date!

Poppy you didn't screw up, he just wasn't who you thought he was and who you wanted him to be. He was flaky and that's not good enough. It's sad and it's hurtful but don't blame yourself.

Whoo Snape it's twenty years since I had a bloke with dreads. He sounds lush. You go girl.

Poppy - lovely to hear from you. Please try and think no more about him. It's time to move on to better things/men. He wasn't as nice as you think he is, you know. But if you honestly think that there's something in how you acted towards him that you'd like to change, then now, whilst you're in between men for a little while, might be a good time to do a bit of thinking and sorting out any old issues that could affect future relationships.

poppy. I know it's really rough, because it's that hope thing again, that it will work out and you'll be loved and you can turn over in bed at night and spoon into someone you love. I'm so sorry, but I do firmly believe the wonderful scots saying 'what's for you won't go by you'. He's not for you. You deserve someone who is for you, sweetie. We all do.

X

Snape - is this the rough sex 'n' spuds guy??

(With apologies to those of you not on my fb) cough maybe. cough (he's actually very sweet, if he has a bit of a Jessica Ennis fixation...)

I appreciate the prof has made me wary of ...curious objects in my foofoo. I suspect spud just wants to put his penis there. This is refreshing.

Hello, I've had a lovely night catching up wtih a good friend a bottle of wine.

Poppy I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I totally get that you're missing someone you only knew for a month - but as others have already said, he wasn't who you thought he was and you didn't screw it up. He was flaky and unreliable and not able to give you what you deserve. Look at it this way - if you had behaved differently, if you had resisted all those urges to contact him, he might have just kept stringing you along, leaving you feeling anxious and uncertain and just as miserable as you are now, only he would have taken more and more power in the relationship, feeling that he could just use you as and when he saw fit.

Lulu well done for getting through today! There may still be more shit to come, but you will get through that too and you will be a stronger person for that.

It's been almost a year now for me since things started falling apart and I'm only just realising that this first year has been mainly about survival. But survive it I have, and the next stage is to start rebuilding my life for me and for my kids.

Snape I love your subtlety! Go for hot dreadlock guy! (By the way, I think I know who your neighbour is - I love IMBD and I'm very good at cross referencing )

oops, that was supposed to say 'a good friend AND a bottle of wine' - the wine was nice but I'm not so far gone I think of it as my friend.

On the tube home, did the whole bag in loo with no mobile thing again, when will I learn?!

I had a great evening! We literally did not stop talking, this is despite having emailed non stop since tuesday plus a couple of 1 hour phone conversations too. I was just worried after all that there would be nothing in person. There was for me, and I hope for him. But no kiss! He's a bit shy so he seems to be the slow burner-type which I've not really experienced before. I got the feeling he didn't want to do anything that might frighten me away, and I'm never going to make the first move, so how will that end? Anyway, he's invited me to his friend's birthday next weekend, which I assume means he wants to see me again. That's a belated loo update.

Hi all. I know it's late and there's probably no-one up. I've just got back in from gigging and tonight I was propositioned by an extremely drunk middle aged lady. Which is fine. She asked me back to her place for a cheese sandwich!

Now....I know I've been out of the dating game for a while, but this is a new one on me. Is it like Coffee? Or did she really mean a sandwich?

I said I wasn't hungry

poppy When returning to dating I think there is a danger of behaving as an infatuated teenager, lots of us have been there. It's tough you have to learn from it and move on. It will get easier

snape Dreadlocks. Drool!

questions you know what they say about the quiet ones

bill I was offered a sandwich and coffee by Mr Fuck. Only got the 'Coffee' Not complaining

Poppy, sorry to hear you're feeling so down. It's a very upsetting thing to happen but hopefully over time you'll realise that he wasn't who you thought he was and he wasn't right for you. How are you today?

Lulu, hope you're feeling ok. I can totally understand the grief you felt. And on a positive note, it's great that things are going well with Mr Ex Army.

I think Fayster, PerUna, Bant and I have dates today - is that right? (Sorry to anyone I've missed out). I'm currently feeling excited and nervous in equal measure - and STILL haven't decided what to wear. What to do for ... style or warmth???

questions all sounds good! with the kissing thing, how about sort of showing him you wouldn't be adverse without actually rugby tackling him to the ground and sticking your tongue down his throat, the touchy feely stuff that shows you like him and he will get the hint .... alcohol helps a lot too

Bill I think a cheese sandwich was maybe a euphamism (spell?) for Coffee, god know wonder dating is so complicated!!! I maybe wrong of course, she could just love a bit of cheddar between 2 bits of bread when she gets home

Morning to everyone else, had a little cry last night at the end of an emotional day but feeling chipper this morning and taking kids off for some christmas shopping. Can't afford it, but feeling a little bit reckless! gotta love a festive smiley!

Hi Libby cross posted, yep Mr Ex Army is helping to take the pain away!

Have a great day, skinny jeans, wellies, warm jacket, scarf, gloves and rosy cheeks and a smile are a winner - have a great time!

Fayster, Bant enjoy your dates, the great thing about the cold is you have to snuggle up to keep warm apologies in advance for overuse of festive smileys in the next 23 days!