Been clearing out more of ExH's clutter and books. Found a boxed new-looking Nokia phone with all bits, charger, headphones etc. Went to Londis and bought a pay-as-you-go sim card for it as I could give it to ds with only my number on it so when i go off in hospital to buy stuff he can call me if he likes (he is a right geek)
put new sim in.
Ran down phone features checking it all - vaguely curious as to where phone came from but have no memory as he fucked off four and a half years ago now and it was probably one I had got as lost phone so many times etc.
Find that everything is deleted apart from one recording called 'Laura Noises' which is recording of a girl/woman having an orgasm 
and one recording of a phone call between me and exH where he calls me mentally unstable, accuses me of every fault in the marriage, gets enraged then loving the next second. Says 'you have everything you want why can't you just be happy' and sayi9ng he is working hard (he wasn't - he had marked nothing for a whoile year and instead made all the pupils marks up so got struck off)
the date is 25th june 07. almost a year to the day he left.
vomit vomit vomit.
One good thing is...
i sound quite mentally stable given the blloody textbook manipulations and bullying/loving tone which after some counselling and women's aid i can no recognise.
bastard.