So you think your DH is odd? Mine thinks I bought him an oompaloompa...

[lynniep]

I put this on my fb status the other day, because sometimes I just have to share this stuff. You couldnt make it up!

I bought a car seat for DS2 the other day, and it arrived in a massive box.

When DH got home from work, he started doing this gurning thing he does when something is on his mind. (he does that, or breathes really heavily - breathing heavily means I've upset him, gurning just means something is bothering him)
I asked him why he was pulling faces. No I'm not telling you cos it'll just confirm you think I'm wierd, he says. Yes probably, I say, but tell me anyway. I doubt I'll be surprised.

I was worrying that it has no air holes he said. Go on - I prompt.
And then it all comes out. The short version being that he thought I bought him a midget as a present. (I know thats not pc, but with DH being pc is the least of our problems)
His first instinct/thought was that
a) I bought him a midget to do the housework and
b) it wouldnt be able to breathe.

I said to him I think you just described an oopmaloompa to me. He thought about that. Yes, he said, I think thats what I thought it might be. Just not orange.

So go on, give me some odd partner behaviour. Not just annoying behaviour - but really bizarre things!

Erm... What????

I am temporarily unable to think of anything to contribute that can even compete with that for weirdness.

Nooooo, I can't say I can beat being accused of trafficking dwarves...

Does he T-rex?

Wtf? Why on earth would he think that? Did you buy him a leprechaun (sp?) For his birthday?

Mine once thought I'd bought a parrot. It was a guinea-pig! (think noises).

Have never been accused of Oompa-Loompa trafficking, though!

damn. someone must have a wierder one than mine? although to be honest, I've never met another one quite like him...

no he doesnt T-rex...

what the hell?

What did you put on FB? I couldn't work that out.

The rest of it isn't so much weird and concerning.

Please tell me that this is completely true and not just made up randomness. I am currently weeping and hyperventilating in response. And no, I can not compete. Leave the bastard though, obvs. ;)

I dont know why he'd think that. He's not like other people. Normal rules don't apply with him. There is no logic. Or sense. Or any of those things...( this is not always a good/funny thing - you cannot argue with someone whose brain doesnt compute like 'normal' folk)

I put on fb that he thought I'd had him delivered an oompaloompa in a box and that he was worried it had no air holes. The folk who know him just went 'ah, yes pmsl'. The folk who know me, but not him went 'wtf???'

I once had a conversation with my DP about how I was jealous that the Masons (as in the Masonic lodge people) could teleport between lodges. For about five minutes I sincerely believed in what I was saying, before realising I was talking complete nonsense.

Do not drip feed op we need to know more about him

lol THATS more like it! About that level of wierdness is about right ;)

well I ususally just put this stuff on fb updates as it happens. My friends like to hear about it!! I only post the most boggling ones though. Not always stuff he thinks, but stuff he does. He did try to remove cactus spikes from his hand with his mouth a few weeks back. That didnt end well. I did offer him tweezers but his method was more effective. More effective if you want a gobfull of cactus spikes anyway.

Sometimes things happen and it does make me wonder just how men's brains work. One day we went round to mum and dads for tea (curry) dad was grilling naan breads when my sister pointed out to him they should be sprinkled with water, the look on his face when he came up with what he thought was a genius idea, only a man could of thought it, he sprayed them with water, out of the fucking iron!
i didn't eat them

it does make me wonder just how men's brains work.

Pretty much like yours.

seriously funny, possibly because I can see my own DH saying this!! and my Dad!!

Mine might be weird but at least he can spell WEIRD properly.

so shoot me :)

I would be seriously concerned my DH was loosing his grip on reality and insist he visit the GP if he seriously though that I would not only obtain a 'Dwarf' but have it delivered in a box with the intention of using it as a slave for domestic chores.