I need to walk away from this dont I?

[smokinaces]

On paper in the Spring the guy was great. Spent loads of time with me, loads of little romantic gestures, loads of messages. Wonderful time together, all loved up. He had a good job, his own home, a little boy he saw a lot and paid over and above what he should.

All was great.

Then he came back off holiday and it all went a bit pearshaped. Work went a bit wrong. He obsessed over his son/ex and new boyfriend. He dumped me at short notice for fishing and then football. He ignored huge things in my life and though says he didnt I am still convinced he ignored my calls and texts.

I ended it. He got better. We tried again.

Things got marginally better. Its slowed down a lot but I was ok with it.

I saw him briefly Sunday. Was meant to be dinner, ended up being coffee for a couple of hours. Hadnt seen him for 2 weeks. Got a cursory kiss on the cheek at beginning and end.

No chance of seeing him until next weekend (kids etc). So far hasnt replied to my text asking what we are doing then.

Tbh the sex was great. But last few times it has been all about him and no effort to make it great for me. When hes done hes done. Which is completely not how it was in the beginning.

He sent a few texts Monday night when back from work late. Havent heard anything since. I have text a few times. Nothing - now I know my texts sometimes dont go through (have this issue with other friends too) but he must have got one. He has been on FB briefly Tuesday and last night too - it comes up on my news feed. But not once has he text or attempted to ring me.

I deserve more than this dont I? Give me the guts to end this. I was on my own for 3 years and on paper and in the beginning this guy was everything I could have wanted. But now I find myself browsing POF again and being desperate to have plans and dates on my weekend without the kids (when he has his son this weekend - we havent met each others kids)

He says he's too tired etc, but tbh I cant put up with any more of this. When its good its great, but I cant be on hold for weeks can I? I know his son comes first will never dispute that, but I cant come behind the ex wife and the football too, especially with a new job keeping him busy.

And he said him and his wife broke up because she had an emotional affair. Because he was paying too much attention to other things and not her. I can completely understand why she did it. Hes so obsessive - at the beginning of the summer it was about me, which was fab. But now its not and I feel shitty.

Tell me I wont be an old lady with kids and a cat. And that ending what was a good sex, loads of money etc relationship is the right thing?

Block and delete OP. Keep a bit of pride. Don't text another word back to him. He's obviously gone in keen [as we do] and now just isn't that into you, it's totally allowed on either persons part. He's a bit yellow due to not being able to be upfront with you is all.

I understand your hurt and disappointment. Because it's hurtful and disappointing.

I wouldn't be passive aggressive here though. Take control. Ditch him. Or call him and lay out your cards ..' Hello! We seem to be communicating less and less and not seeing much of each other. I am unsure as to why that is - what do you think? ' and then get it sorted one way or the other.

I'm one for taking control and crystallising. I have been there before where I put up with someone's shit. When I finally got fed up and said something, the response was "it's never bothered you before" - like suddenly I was being the unreasonable one.

However....sometimes taking control need only involve you. Take control by deleting the arse from your phone, email address book, FBook etc and that's it, job done. Arse Face doesn't need to know. He will work it out eventually.

Delete him off FaceBook and then block him.

Dump! Send him a text saying, 'This relationship has run its natural course. It's over. I wish you luck in the future. Goodbye.' Then block and delete.

Well as I guessed absolutely no attempt by him at contact. That would be because he is obsessively having contact with his son (another reason I need to walk away our parenting couldn't be more different)

I haven't yet removed him from fb. I am hiding him though. I need to text him before I remove him, yet haven't quite worded it yet. Tomorrow is his sons birthday, I'm not a bitch enough to dump him on that day however much of an ill mannored person he's been to me.

But I'm feeling ok. No tears. One glass of wine and bag of kettle chips and jelly beans and I'm ok. I know I deserve more. I just wish he could have the fricking mannors and respect to be honest or to end it or to put some effort in. Just limping along doesn't help either of us.

Thanks for your replies on here. They have really helped my resolve to not ring or text. And to know that ending it is the right thing to do.

'I need to text him before I remove him, yet haven't quite worded it yet.'

Why? You don't owe him a think and he has no respect for you. Would you treat a friend this way? No? Then why take it off a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Just delete him from your life, he probably won't even notice for a while.

Because I know he will notice. And I don't want a barrage of woe is me texts and messages off him when I do. I need to pre empt that or hell make me feel like I'm the unreasonable one. And I wont be able to not retaliate. And it will get messy.

How if you block him and delete him from your life? This guy doesn't care about you. Who cares if he thinks you're unreasonable, he's a twat.

it won't get messy if you have no communication with the man OP. You, however if you don't do this will end up feeling like a mug.

I can't block.him from texting me though? I can block fb, and email but not text.

And don't worry, I am done. I am not a mug.

I promise you I have not text or tried to ring today (other than Halloween reply) and I have hidden him on fb. I will do the other bits after tomorrow. And I won't reply to him either. I'm done.

Yay, well done OP. Im sure someone far wiser than me will be able to tell you how to block on a phone so you don't get any text but in the meantime, Ignore and laugh at the ridiculous attempts at communication.

Hiding him on FB doesn't send him a message though does it? He'll have no idea.

Can't believe you didn't send him a "It's clearly not working" text yesterday. You seem to think this will come good and are holding out. He is treating you worse than you would treat an acquaintance, he doesn't see you as his girlfriend. Square your shoulders and tidy up the loose ends. He's not going to, he's going to let it drag, so you need to officially end it and walk out with your head held high.

I've woken up and I've done it. Ive sent a message saying I'm done and I'm removed him from fb. Done.

Well done. You have stood up for yourself and you can be proud. It'll be horrible checking your phone for messages all the time but please give yourself a pat on the back and plan an extremely busy day! Can you do something exhilarating to take your mind off things?

Well done op

I was meant to be having a lie in with no kids here - but sadly I can't seem to sleep now I've turned thirty! But I have two assingments to write and I'm still hoping to move in a few weeks so going to start packing.

Very sensible stuff. I'd be tempted to far more frivolous! You've done really well, keep a mental picture of fabulous you in your head, not with an idiot who treated you in such a lackadaisical fashion.

Well done smokin. I did the same yesterday. Very similar situation. I feel a mix of anger and being ok. It will be ok.

Well done!
You really will find someone in time, someone right for you now you have a positive attitude and lots of self respect. You deserve more :)

A guy who prefers fishing to human contact with a lovely girlfriend and who has a wank bank on FB - you are well rid!

Well done!

You don't need to be in a relationship to be happy, you have a very full life from teh sounds of it, and you certainly don't need gits like this in your life.

Enjoy!

Thanks guys. He did send me a barrage of abuse on text.

And I admit I sent back messages telling exactly why this was not my fault as he was so intent on telling me.

But that's it. I feel better now I've done it.

I'm not 100% sure but I think if you phone your mobile operator they can block his phone number, if you think he's going to be a pain in the arse!

And thank you for reminding me that I deserve more than coming behind an ex wife, a job, fishing, football and wank bank. And i deserve more than once a fortnight coffee.

Expat I was on my own for three years. I know I can be happy without a relationship. I'm disappointed but his response made me stand by my decision.

That says it all really.

You finish this excuse for a relationship and he gets all tantrummy. You remember that if you have a wobble, shows you did the right thing as you need a grown up to have a relationship with.